On January 27th the 80th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz was commemorated. My son, who was an intern at the Auschwitz Foundation this past summer, was invited to be part of the ceremony in Auschwitz last week. The ceremony was mostly dedicated to the survivors who spoke for much of the program. They described the horrors they went through, and their ability to survive. These survivors more than survived- they rebuilt their homes, families and the Jewish people. As I watched the video of the ceremony, and remember my own grandparents, a”h, who were survivors, I wonder- how did they do it? Where did they find the strength?
This coming Wednesday we celebrate Sharsheret Pink Day. Pink day is another yearly day when we celebrate a different group of survivors. We pay tribute to the women who battle breast cancer, their families and the organization Sharsheret that supports them. I often leave that day wondering- how do they do it? Where do they find the strength?
As Pink Day will come to an end, Wednesday evening into Thursday we celebrate Tu B’shvat. While Tu B’shvat is based on Israel’s climate, ( it is really the new year for fruit trees as that fruit which began developing before Tu B'Shvat is counted as having grown in the previous agricultural year, while fruit which developed after belongs to the next year- impacting when maaser is given), it always struck me that we celebrate the trees during the winter. Even in Israel it is its cold/rainy season. Why not celebrate it during the spring when the trees are blossoming? Rashi explains that the reason why this time of year in Israel is chosen, even though trees haven’t blossomed yet, is because this is the time of year when the sap starts rising in the trees- the first step of fruit beginning to grow. It is specifically the ability for the tree to begin to grow during the cold, dark winter that we celebrate. A tree might look dead, but it is a survivor and can grow.
I came across an article, author unknown, on the Destiny Foundation website. The author writes about his time living in Miami Beach and suffering from hurricanes. He writes:
The almost human shriek of winds in excess of 125 miles per hour can pierced your innermost soul. In one such hurricane, two large trees in my backyard were felled, one of which, unfortunately, landed on my neighbor’s house. The tree surgeons arrived to remove the trees and in that process, sawed them back nearly to the base of their trunks. However, the root systems of both trees were apparently unaffected. Soon, new branches began to grow out of the sides of those shortened trunks. Over the years, those branches grew so tall and healthy that in spring and summer, the trees were clothed in verdant beauty and provided blessed shade. Unless you looked very closely, you could not tell that they had sprung up from truncated stumps that had once been declared “dead.” Yet there they were – beautiful, alive, and fresh as ever – due to the life force of their root systems and the amazing Divine power of regeneration that the Creator has infused into all His living creatures.
The tree typifies what it means to be a survivor- the recuperative power of humans in the face of all adversities. The unconquerable spirit of humans is the highest reflection of the Godly soul within us. And, this has always been the Jewish response to tragedies like the Holocaust and struggles like illness.
People often wonder are discussions about the Holocaust appropriate for middle school students? Is playing an active role in Sharsheret Pink day and exposing middle school students to the struggles of so many appropriate? Of course, if done in an age-appropriate manner I say absolutely, “Yes.”
Our 7th graders just began a new unit in Advisory- “When Life Gives You Lemons…Make Lemonade”- dealing with adversity in life. In that unit they will learn the skills to resilience and coping with the unexpected that life might present. Who can be better role models for our children in resilience and coping than the Holocaust survivors and the women from Sharsheret?
And, as I have been watching the videos recently of the hostages who have been freed, witnessing their courage, I am in awe of their ability to be survivors. I came across a video by Frank Lowy, a 94 year old Holocaust survivor, who addressed the hostages. He said, “Here we are talking to the chatufiim (hostages) and their friends. I want to give them hope. Because I have risen from the darkest place in the world and I am here today to talk about it. To talk about it to my family, to my friends.. here in this place. And, here I am at 94 full of life b’eretz Yisrael shelanu (in our land of Israel).” The freed hostages are also role models for our students of resiliency and survival.
That is what Tu B’shvat and the blossoming tree teach us. The ability “to rise from the darkest place in the world.” As Dr. Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor said (as we discuss with the students in Advisory), “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread...they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms- to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”
And, we discuss the article “Are Israelis Really Happy As The World Reports” in Advisory as well. The article was written after Israel was ranked fifth last year in the World Happiness report of all countries rated. Note that the United States was #15. In that article they question that how can it be after October 7th and the ongoing war and hostage situation Israel can be the fifth happiest country? The author Herb Keinon quotes Zakai Or who notes “Israel’s abundant challenges, she added, do not necessarily diminish happiness, but instead could enhance it. “When you have no challenges, then something inside you doesn’t grow,” she said. “Here we are challenged all the time, and we have succeeded. We grow, and this is also a part of being happy.” While a tree needs sun and rain to grow, challenges help us grow.
The article continues to list other factors that allow Israelis to be happy during difficult times. A. Connecting to meaning B. Sense of being a part of a community, of not being alone, of having someone to lean on, and of being connected to family and friends C. Religion (faith).
Which brings us to another key to survival-Emunah-faith Emunah helps us deal with disappointment and rejection. From a young age, if we can remind our children that both good and not so good events come from G-d, then they can more easily cope with any situation that lies ahead. As Rabbi David Ashear writes in his book Living Emunah: Imagine if, throughout the day, you found messages from Hashem. When you faced a challenge, He would let you know that He sees what you’re going through and has the whole situation in hand. When something good happened, it came with a note attached that said,’This is something special, just for you.’ There would be no greater source of courage, comfort, and joy in our lives. We would have no worries. We would feel pampered and protected at all times, even in the midst of something that would otherwise be unpleasant. If you can imagine living like this, then you can imagine what life is like for someone who lives with rock-solid emunah. Emunah is what kept Holocaust survivors strong. Emunah is one element that supports the women who benefit from Sharsheret. Emunah has kept the hostages and their families strong. As released hostage Agam Berger boarded a helicopter for Beilinson hospital she help up a sign that said:
בדרך אמונה בחרתי בדרך אמונה חזרתי
“I chose the path of faith, and in the path of faith I returned.”
Today is my father’s, a”h, 22nd yahrzeit. My father had the incredible ability to see the good- in people and in situations. He knew what it took to be a survivor. My father was a rabbi, and the year of his 20th yahrzeit our family reached out to his rabbinic colleagues and students to submit Divrei Torah for smachot/happy life cycle occasions. Each person who submitted included a tribute as well. Rabbi Cary Friedman shared this tribute: (Rabbi Friedman began by describing a frustrating situation he was facing as a rabbi). “One day, at the end of my rabbinic rope, alone and despairing and bewildered and frustrated, I called the Fourth Floor to speak with Rabbi Dworken.
Everything changed. I was never alone again. I described the political situation in which I found myself at that moment, and Rabbi Dworken advised me, unerringly, like a chess master, how to maneuver through that political minefield to emerge unscathed and victorious, with my personal integrity uncompromised and the dignity of my rabbinic role -- always so important to him! -- enhanced. Almost 30 years later, I still can’t believe the role he played in my life during our time there. He never waited for me to call him for help -- he called me every week, at least, to check up on me.
Similarly, in a personal situation when my sister in law, a”h, passed away at a young age, Rabbi Dworken, who had lost a sibling at a young age, called me almost every day for several months, until his untimely petirah, to describe to me where my wife and her family were on the journey of mourning, and to offer me guidance as to what I should be doing right now to support them. I followed every instruction he gave me. I was never alone, and I knew exactly what to do, because I had Rabbi Dworken right there with me.
I’ve had the same thought many times over the last 20 years: What on earth should I be doing right now? Rabbi Dworken, with his great intellect and his open heart, always knew.”
Being a survivor does not mean one needs to be alone. Having a mentor, surrounding oneself with support is essential. But, more importantly, which I learned from my father, as someone witnessing the struggles of another, don’t wait to be called. Reach out and be there even before you are asked. And, “hang around” even after the person seems to be okay.
This is a message I want our students at Yavneh to learn and live. Yes, we can all grow, even after facing difficulty, just like a tree. But, trees need water and sunlight to grow. Let’s teach our children to be the nourishment and sunlight in the life of another.
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade: Students began a unit and discussed what it means to be a good friend.
Seventh Grade: Students did a “Quality Circle” where they discussed the lessons they learned from their project in the Homeless shelter and how it relates to how good we are at Yavneh at treating each other with respect.
Eighth Grade: Students discussed how to deal with disappointments in life.
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