Yom Yerushalayim is Memorial Day

 It is no coincidence that Yom Yerushalayim and Memorial Day fall out on the same day. As it says in Tehillim 137:5-6

אִם־אֶשְׁכָּחֵ֥ךְ יְ֜רֽוּשָׁלִָ֗ם תִּשְׁכַּ֥ח יְמִינִֽי : תִּדְבַּ֚ק לְשׁוֹנִ֨י | לְחִכִּי֘ אִם־לֹ֪א אֶ֫זְכְּרֵ֥כִי אִם־לֹ֣א אַֽ֖עֲלֶה אֶת־יְרֽוּשָׁלִַ֑ם עַ֜֗ל רֹ֣אשׁ שִׂמְחָתִֽי:

If I forget you, O Jerusalem, may my right hand forget [its skill]. May my tongue cling to my palate, if I do not remember you, if I do not bring up Jerusalem at the beginning of my joy.

There is an inherent connection between Yerushalayim and memory. Rabbi Shraga Simmons in his article “Why Jerusalem Matters” notes the importance of memory:

We need to begin by understanding the importance of memory. Memory isn't history or dead memorabilia. By defining the past, memory creates the present. Repression of memory creates mental disease. Health comes from memory's recovery. Dictators consolidate power by altering memory. Stalin airbrushed Trotsky and Bukharin out of photographs. Revisionists deny the Holocaust ever happened. 

He continues to note that the word for “man” is זָכָר and the same root as the word for memory- זֶכֶר. As humans, memory provides us with meaning and our essence.  It also provides hope. And, as Elie Wiesel famously said, Without memory, there is no culture. Without memory, there would be no civilization, no society, no future.

 For centuries as Jews, even in the darkest times, we have proclaimed  לשנה הבאה בירושלים  at the end of the seder and the end of Yom Kippur. We daven towards Yerushalayim- thereby remembering her three times a day. At every wedding we break the glass- thinking of the still unbuilt Yerushalayim at the height of our happiest times. We mention Yerushalayim in our daily Tefillah. And, we mourn for her yearly during the three weeks and Tisha B’av. 

This constant remembering of Yerushalayim makes me think of a quote by Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, ztl. There has never been a love story like it in all of history. The love of our people for our city. Yes, just like when someone loves another he/she is constantly on one’s mind- that typifies our relationship with Yerushalayim . Yerushalayim is mentioned 660 times in Tanach.  And, the city is still our beloved after 20 centuries of exile.  As Yehuda Amichai wrote in his poem “Songs of Zion the Beautiful” “Jerusalem’s a place where everyone remembers he’s forgotten something.” 

Mendel Kalmenson, in his article “History or Memory?” interestingly points out that in Hebrew there is no word for “history.” It is הסטוריה- merely a hebraicized version of the English word history, originally from the Greek. But, there is a word for memory זכרון. There is no such thing as history in Judaism. “History is objective facts and memory is a subjective experience.” (History is - his- story - the story of another. Memory- starts with “me”- more personal).  That explains perfectly why we re-enact the leaving Egypt at the seder with the matzah, marror etc. Or we sit in sukkahs. And,  the mitzvah of hakhel re-enacts Matan Torah. And,  we stay up all night learning on Shavuot awaiting the giving of the Torah. 

 And, even more so in Shemot Rabba 28:6 it states:

כִּי אֶת אֲשֶׁר יֶשְׁנוֹ פֹּה עִמָּנוּ עֹמֵד הַיּוֹם וְאֵת אֲשֶׁר אֵינֶנּוּ פֹּה עִמָּנוּ הַיּוֹם, עִמָּנוּ עוֹמֵד הַיּוֹם, אֵין כְּתִיב כָּאן, אֶלָּא עִמָּנוּ הַיּוֹם, אֵלּוּ הַנְּשָׁמוֹת הָעֲתִידוֹת לְהִבָּרְאוֹת שֶׁאֵין בָּהֶם מַמָּשׁ,

… as Moses says to Israel: “Rather, with him who is here with us standing today [before the Lord our God], and with him who is not here with us today” (Deuteronomy 29:14). It is not written here, “standing with us today,” but rather, “with us today.” These are the souls [of people] who are destined to be created

According to the midrash the souls of all Jews were at Har Sinai to get the Torah, even those not yet born. So, it is not the history of our forefathers, but rather a memory for us all. Our own personal story. A similar idea is found in the midrash quoted in Niddah 30b that in when in utero a fetus learns all of the Torah and before it is born: 

וכיון שבא לאויר העולם בא מלאך וסטרו על פיו ומשכחו כל התורה כולה

And once the fetus emerges into the airspace of the world, an angel comes and slaps it on its mouth, causing it to forget the entire Torah

Torah is then a living memory that can be uncovered. 

Judaism is meant to be a religion that is one of memory- experiencing it, not history. As Rabbi Sacks said: “To be a Jew is to know that over and above history is the task of memory. As Jacob Neusner eloquently wrote: “Civilisation hangs suspended, from generation to generation, by the gossamer strand of memory. If only one cohort of mothers and fathers fails to convey to its children what it has learnt from its parents, then the great chain of learning and wisdom snaps. If the guardians of human knowledge stumble only one time, in their fall collapses the whole edifice of knowledge and understanding”… More than any other faith, Judaism made this a matter of religious obligation.” 

On this Yom Yerushalayim we are not merely rehashing the history of our beloved city. We are reliving the memories of our forefathers starting from the times of the Tanach, going all the way to 1967 proclaiming “Har HaBayit B’Yadeinu!”. And, because of that day, more importantly, we are transmitting our own personal memories of the Yerushalayim which we are privileged to be able to visit in person- whether during our year in Israel, or just this year on a visit. 

And, this is why I never miss the Israel Day parade and schlepped my kids when they were too little to march in their double stroller to be spectators. And, why even today, when there is no school, my family wears blue and white on Yom Yerushalayim. (When my children as infants went to a non-Jewish daycare I made sure to dress them up in blue and white on Yom Haatzmaut and Yom Yerushalayim!) And, why, as I explained last week, I took my son with NORPAC to Washington to advocate for Israel. And, why we listen to Israeli music in my car constantly. And, why I insist on speaking Hebrew to the Israeli teachers in our school (even though they try to speak English to me)- especially in front of my own children.  And, why a sign in Jerusalem stone is hanging in my living room with the words אִם־אֶשְׁכָּחֵ֥ךְ יְ֜רֽוּשָׁלִָ֗ם תִּשְׁכַּ֥ח יְמִינִֽי And, why I watched the entire Yom HaZikaron ceremony on youtube with my children while we cooked for Shabbos. And, why my favorite days in school are Yom Haatzmaut and Yom Yerushalayim. And, why I created an Israel Advocacy unit in Advisory.  And, why we will be having a Buy Israeli Goods campaign at Yavneh. 

Whether it is my own personal children or “my children” at Yavneh their connection to Yerushalayim and to Israel cannot be history- it must be a living memory.  It needs to be a part of their psyche and they need to live the knowledge that Israel is the Jewish land. 

So, as we commemorate Memorial Day and celebrate Yom Yerushalayim today let us make a commitment to raise our children with a living memory of Israel and Yerushalayim. ! לשנה הזאת בירושלים

Advisory Update

Sixth Grade: Students began preparing for how to manage finals (to minimize stress!)  and some key strategies were shared. 

Seventh Grade:  Students focused on the difference between “tattling” and “telling” and practical ways they can be upstanders.

Eighth Grade: As one of their last Advisory lessons students contemplated saying good-bye to Yavneh and  filled out an exit survey to share with us at Yavneh how they felt about their years here. 

Marching and Standing Up For Israel

 

As I sit by my computer after marching in the Israel Day Parade and prepare for my trip with NORPAC to advocate for Israel this coming Tuesday, I consider how impactful it is to stand up for Israel. In speaking with our bnot sheirut and an Israeli teacher who have never been to the parade before they shared how there is nothing like this in Israel. I responded that there is no need for something like this in Israel. There they live this pride and support for Israel daily. 

But, as I marched today and prepare for NORPAC I also feel some sadness. Why is it that we are still holding signs and speaking about the hostages who have not yet been freed? Why am I preparing to speak to senators and congressmen about Iran, Hezbollah and Hamas? Why do we need to speak about anti-Semitism on college campuses?

I considered how I could find encouragement and comfort as well. This past Thursday evening we celebrated a wonderful bat mitzvah event with our sixth grade girls. It brought to mind how years ago, when my daughter became a bat mitzvah,  I learned Trei Asar with her for her bat mitzvah. We originally chose that sefer because there are 12 books and bat mitzvah is 12. As I came home today with some of that dejection I described, I realized that Trei Asar was the source of comfort that I needed today. 

Rabbi Berel Wein wrote a book called Who Knows 12 about Trei Asar- written in 2015.  In Rabbi Wein’s introduction from 2015, he writes,

“I was 14 years old when I first encountered Trei Asar as a subject of study at my beloved yeshiva in Chicago. Sixty five years later in Jerusalem, as I study Trei Asar once more, the words are the same but their meaning is far different than what it was when I was an adolescent. Much has happened to me and to the Jewish people over the past sixty five years.  This book was completed and edited in the shadows of the pain and costs of war against Hamas in Gaza. I never imagined that I would experience such a conflict in my lifetime or live in such an openly anti-Semitic world as I do in 2015. The words of the prophets of Trei Asar have been a personal comfort to me in these difficult days.”

Wow. Incredible. Gaza, Hamas, anti-semitism.  He could have written those words today. 

As Rabbi Wein aptly says,
“This book is a very personal one, It reflects how the words of the prophets speak to me about contemporary issues that face the Jewish world of the twenty-first century. The words of the prophets of Trei Asar should therefore not be viewed as only ancient history or moral preaching, but rather as a commentary on current events and present- day issues.”  

So, it is essential to learn Trei Asar so that we can understand the times we are going through or as Rabbi Wein says

“ …so we are not doomed to being constantly blindsided by unexpected events, overly frightened by impending difficulties and hopefully confused by what currently befalls us.  The book of books has accompanied us over thousands of years on our journey through the world and its civilizations. It continues to do so today- and we would be very wise to study it, consult it, and live by its values and holy messages.” 

In his book Rabbi Wein speaks about four themes in Trei Asar that we are living through today: (He quotes pesukim for each of them). 

1. Jewish survival and Jewish pride- the Jews will not be destroyed and they will survive not with their heads down, but with power. And, at some point other nations will recognize Israel’s greatness, realizing they were wrong all along. 

2. The nations of the world will join us- instead of battle us- perhaps as we have begun seeing in the Abraham accords… (In front of us at the parade there was a group of Chinese Israel supporters marching. We often focus on the anti-Semitism in today’s world. It is so wonderful to see that there are those outside of the Jewish people who support us). 

3. The return of Jews to Israel- 7.7 million Jews live in Israel today. 

4. When the Jews return the land will flourish- When Mark Twain visited Israel in the 1860s he said that Israel was desolate with a "silent and mournful expanse". Today, Israel is thriving and vibrant. 

How encouraging and hopeful as we see the words of Trei Asar happening today before our eyes. 

Since October 7th as parents we have been struggling with how to speak to our children about what is happening with encouragement. As educators we worry- how do we keep our students aware and engaged in “fighting” for Israel and the Jewish people, without scaring them about visiting Israel or about anti-Semitism? 

We first need to realize, as we all intuitively know,  that we need to speak to our children about what is happening- in a developmentally appropriate manner. If they don’t hear it from us first, they will hear it from someone else or the media. 

 I recently read an article by Ilana Kendal “Talking to Your Kids About Rising Anti-Semitism”- and her points relate to anti-Semitism and the war in Israel as well.  Aside from the importance of validation and encouraging questions, she shares:

1. We need to provide context. 

As Jews, we have a long history of persecution. It’s important to let our kids know that the violence we see today is an expression of longstanding evil. From the time of Abraham, we have represented change, going against the grain, and this has always been met with resistance. In its essence, part of being Jewish is believing in change, in a better world. By placing current events in this context, we provide important education about our mission as Jews. We can talk about the Biblical struggles, Crusades and pogroms as a legacy of opposition against the values we stand for. We can tell our kids, “Those bad people don’t like the goodness the Jewish people stand for” or, “Jews represent God and good in the world but some people just want to live without rules.” Placing current events in a broader spiritual context gives meaning to the specific battle we are facing. As we strengthen our children’s identity, we likewise strengthen their capacity to cope.

And, sharing Rabbi Wein’s four points from above are wonderful ways to provide context and encouragement. 

2. Foster Action- 

Research indicates that being active in the face of a difficult situation can actually lower the rates of stress and PTSD.  Action is not fixing, solving or even stopping the pain. It is finding ways to move from passivity to activity.

Events like the parade, NORPAC, the political action unit our 7th graders are engaged in now and the various activities we have engaged in since October 7th to stand up for Israel and the Jewish people are the actions that they need to remain resilient. 

3. Find role models-

Speak about those who have not only survived, but also thrived after difficulty. Kendal gives an example,  “You know what Bubbie Jean would do when she was scared walking at night?” I asked. “She would repeat ‘Shema Yisrael’ over and over again. She told me she felt God was protecting her.” It wasn’t that she was fearless; it was that she found courage through her faith. Looking around for our personal role models or people in history who have contended with anti-Semitism shows our children the resilience of the Jewish spirit and places all of us in a larger context. We become not only individuals grappling with fear, but warriors in a noble spiritual battle. Empowering our children to become part of this legacy can transform their experience and give them the strength to tackle their fears.

Throughout this war we can point out role models for our children. Like Agam Berger who shared as she was released the words-

 "I chose the path of faith and with the path of faith I have returned.” 

Or Sapir Cohen who mysteriously thought she was sick before she was kidnapped and a message appeared on her instagram suggesting she start saying Tehillim 27 daily despite not being religious. By the time she was kidnapped she knew it by heart and said it daily. 

These role models can be found daily with stories of chayalim, the kidnapped, the injured and their families. 

But, as I marched today and continue to prepare for NORPAC, I feel a sense of hope- as depicted in Trei Asar and I as I see our children stand up for Israel and the Jewish people with a legacy of faith. 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade: Students did a lesson on how to navigate working in groups when things don’t always go so smoothly

Seventh Grade: Students discussed why people tend to be “bystanders” and how to change that reality. 

Eighth Grade: Students did a lesson as part of the Substance Abuse unit on alcohol.

Modeh Ani on Mother's Day

Happy Mother’s Day! And, in about an hour I will wish you Happy Pesach Sheini!  And, on Thursday night Happy Lag Ba’Omer!  While these three days seem unconnected, other than all occurring during the same week this year, they intersect somehow. What do these three days have in common?

Rabbi Efrem Goldberg (Yavneh graduate!), shared in his article from a few years ago “What Do Lag Ba’Omer and Mother’s Day Have in Common?” (I guess he noticed their “intersection” as well!) “…we will celebrate Lag Ba’Omer, the 33rd day of the Omer.  Each day of the omer is characterized by another kabbalistic attribute.   Lag Ba’Omer is hod she’b’hod, the glory of glory, reflecting our appreciation of God’s greatness and glory.  Alternatively, though, hod can be understood as coming from the same word as hodu, or modeh, meaning thanks.  Lag Ba’Omer is a day characterized as thankfulness within thankfulness, or a day to celebrate gratitude.”

But, continues Rabbi Goldberg, it is not just about gratitude. He quotes the Chasam Sofer who says that the מן- manna began falling from heaven on Lag BaOmer. The Jews greeted the manna the first day with excitement. As time went on, they took it for granted and were not as appreciative as they had been. Says the Chasam Sofer, Lag BaOmer is the  “time that we identify and say thank you for all of the blessings that regularly descend into our lives, but unfortunately, like the manna, that we take for granted.”  On Lag BaOmer we express gratitude for things we take for granted. 

So too with Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is a day we celebrate the person “without whom we would literally not be here, but who often goes unappreciated.”  We usually take our mothers for granted. Mother’s Day is the day we stop and realize how much our mothers do for us - they are” blessings that regularly descend into our lives that we often take for granted”- and say thank you. 

Both Lag BaOmer and Mother’s Day are days of gratitude for things we take for granted.. Interestingly enough, I came across a post from a mother (not Jewish) who said: “It’s Psalm 100 all day long for me on Mother’s Day.”  Psalm 100 - 

מִזְמ֥וֹר לְתוֹדָ֑ה הָרִ֥יעוּ לַ֝ה כׇּל־הָאָֽרֶץ׃

עִבְד֣וּ אֶת־ה בְּשִׂמְחָ֑ה בֹּ֥אוּ לְ֝פָנָ֗יו בִּרְנָנָֽה׃

דְּע֗וּ כִּֽי־ה֮ ה֤וּא אֱלֹ֫קים הֽוּא־עָ֭שָׂנוּ (ולא) [וְל֣וֹ] אֲנַ֑חְנוּ עַ֝מּ֗וֹ וְצֹ֣אן מַרְעִיתֽוֹ׃

בֹּ֤אוּ שְׁעָרָ֨יו ׀ בְּתוֹדָ֗ה חֲצֵרֹתָ֥יו בִּתְהִלָּ֑ה הוֹדוּ־ל֝֗וֹ בָּרְכ֥וּ שְׁמֽוֹ׃

כִּי־ט֣וֹב ה לְעוֹלָ֣ם חַסְדּ֑וֹ וְעַד־דֹּ֥ר וָ֝דֹ֗ר אֱמוּנָתֽוֹ׃ {פ}

A psalm for thanksgiving.-

Raise a shout for the LORD, all the earth;

worship the LORD in gladness;

come into His presence with shouts of joy.

Acknowledge that the LORD is God;

He made us and we are His,-b

His people, the flock He tends.

Enter His gates with praise,

His courts with acclamation.

Praise Him!

Bless His name!

For the LORD is good;

His steadfast love is eternal;

His faithfulness is for all generations.

Somehow, she connects the gratitude for our mothers on this day to gratitude to G-d. On Lag BaOmer and on Mother’s Day we focus on the gratitude to G-d- for all that we take for granted and especially our loving mothers. 

Perhaps this is the connection between Mother’s Day, Lag BaOmer and Pesach Sheini. In Bamidbar 9 it discusses how Pesach Sheini came about:

זוַיֹּֽאמְר֠וּ הָֽאֲנָשִׁ֤ים הָהֵ֨מָּה֙ אֵלָ֔יו אֲנַ֥חְנוּ טְמֵאִ֖ים לְנֶ֣פֶשׁ אָדָ֑ם לָ֣מָּה נִגָּרַ֗ע לְבִלְתִּ֨י הַקְרִ֜יב אֶת־קָרְבַּ֤ן ה֙ בְּמֹ֣עֲד֔וֹ בְּת֖וֹךְ בְּנֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵֽל:

Those men said to him, "We are ritually unclean [because of contact] with a dead person; [but] why should we be excluded so as not to bring the offering of the Lord in its appointed time, with all the children of Israel? 

These men approached Moshe asking since they were impure when the Korban Pesach  was brought, could they have a second chance to bring it later. And, in fact they were given a second chance- the 14th day of Iyar. (See my column from 2024- Second- chance Parenting and Pesach Sheini).  This second chance is in actuality the ability to start fresh with a clean slate. 

We often take for granted this ability to start fresh and have a do-over. Every day the first thing we do in the morning is say Modeh Ani- we actually express gratitude daily for this ability to start fresh. In my Beur Tefillah class we had discussed that before we say Shema at night we say a tefillah:

רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם הֲרֵינִי מוֹחֵל לְכָל־מִי שֶׁהִכְעִיס וְהִקְנִיט אוֹתִי אוֹ שֶׁחָטָא כְנֶגְדִּי בֵּין בְּגוּפִי בֵּין בְּמָמוֹנִי בֵּין בִּכְבוֹדִי בֵּין בְּכָל־אֲשֶׁר לִי בֵּין בְּאֽוֹנֶס בֵּין בְּרָצוֹן בֵּין בְּשׁוֹגֵג בֵּין בְּמֵזִיד בֵּין בְּדִבּוּר בֵּין בְּמַעֲשֶׂה בֵּין בְּמַחֲשָׁבָה בֵּין בְּהַרְהוֹר בֵּין בְּגִלְגּוּל זֶה בֵּין בְּגִלְגּוּל אַחֵר לְכָל־בַּר יִשְׂרָאֵל וְלֹא יֵעָנֵשׁ שׁוּם אָדָם בְּסִבָּתִי: יְהִי רָצוֹן מִלְּפָנֶֽיךָ ה אֱלֹקי וֵאלֹקי אֲבוֹתַי שֶׁלֹא אֶחֱטָא עוֹד וּמַה־שֶּׁחָטָֽאתִי לְפָנֶֽיךָ מְחוֹק בְּרַחֲמֶֽיךָ הָרַבִּים אֲבָל לֹא עַל־יְדֵי יִסּוֹרִים וָחֳלָיִים רָעִים: יִהְיוּ לְרָצוֹן אִמְרֵי־פִי וְהֶגְיוֹן לִבִּי לְפָנֶֽיךָ ה צוּרִי וְגֹֽאֲלִֽי:

I hereby forgive anyone who has angered me, or sinned against me, either physically or financially, against my honor or anything that is mine, whether accidentally or intentionally, inadvertently or deliberately, by speech or by deed, by thought or by speculation, in this incarnation or in any other: any Israelite [is forgiven], may no man be punished on my account. May it be Your will, Adonoy, my God and God of my fathers, that I shall sin no more nor repeat my sins, neither shall I again anger You nor do what is wrong in Your eyes. The sins I have committed, erase in your abounding mercies, but not through suffering or severe illnesses. May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be acceptable before You Adonoy, my Rock and my Redeemer.

What does asking for and granting forgiveness have to do with going to sleep? We want to start our next day with a clean slate, so before we go to sleep we want to rid ourselves of all that did not go right that day. And, we awaken the next morning with gratitude: 

מוֹדֶה אֲנִי לְפָנֶיךָ מלך חַי וְקַיָּם שֶהֶחֱזַרְתָּ בִּי נִשְׁמָתִי בְחֶמְלָה, רַבָּה אֱמוּנָתֶךָ

I thank You, living and enduring King, for You have graciously returned my soul within me. Great is Your faithfulness.

Hashem has returned my soul to me each morning with the ability to have a fresh start and a clean slate. And, in fact, each night when we go to sleep, Hashem takes our souls and each morning when we awake it shows that Hashem decided to give our souls back to us. Notice that the word “מוֹדֶה” means to be grateful, but also means to admit. In being grateful I admit that my daily waking up- that I take for granted- is from Hashem. Hashem is “faithful”- He is always there giving me a fresh start- day in and day out, and I often take Him and that daily fresh start for granted. 

Rabbi Goldberg quotes Tony Robbins- a world-renowned life-coach. He says that the secret to happiness and success in life is starting each day with gratitude, and literally expressing verbally all that you have in your life that you do not take for granted. Hmm. Sounds like Modeh Ani to me!  It is so easy to fall into a sense of entitlement and to forget to be grateful.  Mother’s Day, Pesach Sheini and Lag BaOmer remind us of this message. 

So, as we celebrate Mother’s Day, Pesach Sheini and Lag BaOmer let us remember the theme that connects these three days- to be grateful and to not take our blessings for granted.  Let us not take for granted and remember to say “Modeh Ani” for the love that our mothers give us each day and for the love that our Father in Heaven showers upon us as well 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade:  Students learned about the impact of social exclusion using technology. 

Seventh Grade:  Students discussed some of the myths about Israel that are spreading and what we can do to be upstanders for Israel. 

Eighth Grade:  Students began their first lesson in the substance abuse unit discussing the physiological dangers of substance use on the brain. 

Raising Our Children With "Oz"

  The week of Yom HaZikaron and Yom Haatzmaut is always an emotional and inspirational one for me. And, of course, since the war began those days have become even more so. In my home we watched the entire inspirational Yom HaZikaron ceremony in Israel. Prime Minister Netanyahu spoke and shared:   This, our 77th Independence Day, is dedicated to oz [‘strength’], two Hebrew letters that comprise ’77’. And as it is said in the Bible [Job 12:16]: ‘With Him is strength and wisdom.’ With strength, with wisdom, and with great spirit, God willing, we will complete our victory.”  The גימטריה- numerical value of the word עֹֹז- courage/strength is 77. No coincidence as Netanyahu proclaims that G-d will help us win with His strength. 

  Rabbi Doron Perez, Executive Chairman of World Mizrachi whose son Daniel was killed on October 7th in battle, also noted that the number 77 is the numerical value of עֹֹז.  In his article “Warriors of Oz- The Meaning Of Courage And Boldness Today” Rabbi Perez said that that word “accompanies me every single day, for three reasons.”  His son fought and was killed and his body kidnapped on the army base of נחל עוז next to the kibbutz of that same name, where both soldiers and civilians were killed and kidnapped. Their other son, Yonatan, who thankfully survived was injured at Nachal Oz as well.

Additionally, his son Daniel’s served in the Tank Corps in Battalion 77 which they called גדוד עז. The second Oz in the war. And, then he brought the third עז- that this is the 77th year of the State of Israel. 

These three connections to the word עז brought him to consider the meaning of the word. Rabbi Perez noticed that we do not only need  ע to fight battles, but we need  עז to worship Hashem. We say in Pesukai Dzimrah: (words from Tehillim 68: 35-36)

להתְּנ֥וּ עֹ֗ז לֵֽאלֹ֫קים עַל־יִשְׂרָאֵ֥ל גַּֽאֲוָת֑וֹ וְ֜עֻזּ֗וֹ בַּשְּׁחָקִֽים:

ונ֚וֹרָ֥א אֱלֹקים מִמִּקְדָּ֫שֶׁ֥יךָ קל יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל ה֚וּא נֹתֵ֨ן | עֹ֖ז וְתַֽעֲצֻמ֥וֹת לָעָ֗ם בָּ֘ר֥וּךְ אֱלֹקים: Attribute strength to G-d, G-d’s grandeur and strength is on Israel.  You are feared, O God, from Your Sanctuary; the God of Israel-He gives strength and power to the people; blessed be God. We also say daily, from Tehillim 150, הַ֥לְלוּקהּ | הַֽלְלוּ־קל בְּקָדְשׁ֑וֹ הַֽ֜לְ֗לוּהוּ בִּרְקִ֥יעַ עֻזּֽוֹ  Praise God in His holy place, praise Him in the firmament of His might.    We also say daily in Az Yashir (Shemot 15:2) עָזִּ֤י וְזִמְרָת֙ קהּ וַֽיְהִי־לִ֖י לִֽישׁוּעָ֑ה The Eternal's strength and His vengeance were my salvation.  And, in Yishtabach daily we say, “עֹז וּמֶמְשָׁלָה”  [to proclaim your] strength and dominion,           So, clearly Oz is part of our relationship with Hashem. Why?  Rabbi Perez continues to quote a well-known mishna in Avot 5:20 where Yehuda Ben Teima lists the qualities of man that he thinks are necessary and admirable in serving Hashem.  יְהוּדָה בֶן תֵּימָא אוֹמֵר, הֱוֵי עַז כַּנָּמֵר- Judah ben Tema said: Be strong as a leopard.  The Tur noted that the first quality mentioned is  עז as it is important. “Since sometimes a person desires to perform a mitzvah but is prevented from performing it because of people who mock him.  Therefore, he cautioned you that you should have fortitude against the mockers and not refrain from performing the mitzvah.”  Rabbi Perez continues that there will always be those who seek to prevent us from serving Hashem and even to destroy us and our religion. “If we are not armed with boldness, total dedication and conviction we will not be able to uphold our values and G-d’s truth…We so often are alienated and left to fight our battles as Jews alone. This requires great conviction and encouragement when feeling isolated and alone in the values that we believe to be important.”           That is why the leopard is used as an example of  עז. A leopard fights alone (unlike a lion who travels with his group= pride).  The leopard is used to fighting alone and he has to rely on his own strength and courage as he doesn’t have a group to protect him.  “Wherever we are, however isolated we may feel, each of us bear the responsibility to stand up for Zionism and the Jewish state’s right to exist. This mission demands boldness and courage from each of us…”           And, this is how we need to raise our children. In our 7th grade Advisory class we have begun the unit called “Do Not Stand Idly By.”  While the unit begins with stressing the power of political action  We highlight with them the concept of "Do Not Stand Idly By"- the importance of getting involved when you see injustice in the world, even if it does not directly affect you.  We begin with a political action unit to stand up for Israel. Equally as important, their political action will hopefully translate into the way they try to stop injustice in their lives, i.e. bullying, cheating etc.   Students discuss why we have the obligation to be “upstanders” and do something in our own "backyards" as well.  That is the character trait of עז- having the courage to be an upstander even when and despite if no one else is doing anything.  In Advisory we discuss the bystander effect with them. Why do people tend not to do anything when they see others in trouble? What is standing in our way? Are we often worried about the ramifications our getting involved will have on us? Is doing nothing just as bad as actively participating in hurting others? What can we do to become upstanders?            The students learn about the psychological phenomenon called the bystander effect.  Why is it that when people see injustice happening they often do nothing? Social psychologists point to two reasons.  1. Diffusion of responsibility- if there are others looking on as well, they will all assume that someone else will intervene and therefore they do not. 2. Social influence- people monitor the behavior of others during a situation to determine how to act. If no one else is doing anything, then they conclude that help is not needed.            Research shows, as noted in an article by Jenny Friedman “Raising Upstanding Children,” that we as parents can combat the bystander effect. She recommends that first we as parents need to tell our children about the bystander effect. (Yay for us in Advisory- we are doing that already!) By discussing the phenomenon and brainstorming with them why people are hesitant to intervene it helps them become more aware. Also discuss with them how to combat the intimidation we feel to get involved.         This is a great place to talk about “tattling” versus “telling.” According to Dr. Jamie Howard of the Child Mind Institute: Tattling is reporting a peer’s wrongdoing, when the situation is safe and the child can handle it herself.  Telling is alerting adults that the situation is not safe and/or your child needs help managing the situation. Tattling to get a peer in trouble can be mean-spirited. Telling to protect a peer from harm is civic-minded or showing concern for others.           Second, model getting involved. When your child sees you as an adult being an “upstander” and getting involved in difficult situations he/she is more prone to do so as well. If you see someone in the grocery store struggling with his packages and you help-  you are being an upstander. And, explain to your children about why you intervened and how wonderful it felt.          Third, says Friedman, “Nurture your child's "heroic imagination." Children are most likely to act altruistically, and even heroically, if they feel their parents would expect it of them. Talk and read about real-life heroes and the difference they've made. Talk about a time when you did something heroic to help another creature.”          Fourth, empower her to intervene. Remind her of the other ways we discussed in advisory- other than actively confronting the person who is mistreating the other, if she is hesitant.  Here are the LEADERS strategies your children learn in sixth grade: (Notice only the E is a direct confrontation).  L- leave no one out By reaching out to all peers, bystanders protect the vulnerable and send the message that everyone has value. E- Empower yourself: stand up to bullies Bystanders can tell bullies that their behavior is unacceptable.  A- Amuse with humor: Make light of a dark Situation Using humor when appropriate, bystanders can take the power away from the bullies and ease the pain of the victim. D- Distract the bully or victim For many bystanders, direct confrontation is uncomfortable.  Distracting a bully from attacking a victim by, for example, asking him or her if they saw a great TV show last night, helps stop him/her.  Distracting a victim not only softens the bully’s attack, but also creates a sense of connection.  E- Enlist help: Tell someone who can help Bystanders can’t solve all bully problems alone.  It is not “tattling” when students help victims by telling family members and school staff that peers are being harmed. R- Rumors stop with me While it may seem unrelated, spreading rumors actually fuels bullying.  When students turn off the rumor mill they decrease the power and impact of bullies.  S- Support the victim Even when bystanders feel uncomfortable directly confronting bullies, they can send the message that no one should be hurt or excluded through supportive statements and gestures towards victims.           Fifth, “foster caring and social responsibility in your children.” It always struck me that Yom HaShoah is so close to Yom Haatzmaut. In 7th grade Advisory we do speak about the Holocaust and the bystander effect and why so many stood by. Researcher Samuel Oliner studied those who saved Jews during the Holocaust. It seems that those who did so were most often raised by “families that emphasized compassion, inclusiveness and an ethical responsibility to all life. If you practice kindness with your children each day, they're more likely to act heroically when the need arises.” And, that is one reason I have signed up for NORPAC this year again with my son. Despite the fact that the trip is utterly exhausting, I know how important it is to be an upstander and more importantly to foster this social responsibility in my son.           Friedman ends with a suggestion to play a “game” with your children- teens as well. We call it “What Would You Do?” (Interestingly enough, there is a television show with that name that presents situations of people in need and many do nothing to step up and help. I often show clips of this show in Advisory). Share a situation and ask your children what they would do. How would you be an “upstander” and what would you do? Why? (You can choose scenarios appropriate for your child’s age. Here are some she suggests: A woman in front of you in the grocery store checkout line discovers she is short one dollar after her groceries have been rung up. Your friend accidentally knocks over his or her milk, spilling it all over the school lunch table. An older student starts making fun of your friend's new shoes. You see a young man with Down Syndrome bussing tables at a local restaurant. You notice that one table of people laughs at him and call him names. You see someone harassing a homeless man.           Having עז is not easy- especially when no one else around you has עז.  As we have learned since October 7th, we need to stand up for what we believe in-whether in battle against our enemies, or against anti-Semitism.  And, we need to translate this עז into how we live our day to day lives. Like a leopard, we often are on our own, and we need to do the right thing despite what others are doing. And, may this עז lead to peace,  as it says in Tehillim 29:11: ה' עֹ֖ז לְעַמּ֣וֹ יִתֵּ֑ן ה' | יְבָרֵ֖ךְ אֶת־עַמּ֣וֹ בַשָּׁלֽוֹם The Lord shall grant strength to His people; the Lord shall bless His people with peace. Advisory Update:  Sixth Grade: Students discussed social exclusion and bullying online. Seventh Grade:  Students began their unit “Do Not Stand Idly By” with a presentation by Stand With Us discussing Israel Advocacy and began learning the myths that they need to combat to stand up for Israel.  Eighth Grade: Students engaged in an activity where they wrote “compliments” for every student in their class which will be combined into paragraphs placed in the sefer they receive at graduation dinner.  D