ונ֚וֹרָ֥א אֱלֹקים מִמִּקְדָּ֫שֶׁ֥יךָ קל יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל ה֚וּא נֹתֵ֨ן | עֹ֖ז וְתַֽעֲצֻמ֥וֹת לָעָ֗ם בָּ֘ר֥וּךְ אֱלֹקים: Attribute strength to G-d, G-d’s grandeur and strength is on Israel. You are feared, O God, from Your Sanctuary; the God of Israel-He gives strength and power to the people; blessed be God.
We also say daily, from Tehillim 150, הַ֥לְלוּקהּ | הַֽלְלוּ־קל בְּקָדְשׁ֑וֹ הַֽ֜לְ֗לוּהוּ בִּרְקִ֥יעַ עֻזּֽוֹ Praise God in His holy place, praise Him in the firmament of His might. We also say daily in Az Yashir (Shemot 15:2) עָזִּ֤י וְזִמְרָת֙ קהּ וַֽיְהִי־לִ֖י לִֽישׁוּעָ֑ה The Eternal's strength and His vengeance were my salvation. And, in Yishtabach daily we say, “עֹז וּמֶמְשָׁלָה” [to proclaim your] strength and dominion, So, clearly Oz is part of our relationship with Hashem. Why? Rabbi Perez continues to quote a well-known mishna in Avot 5:20 where Yehuda Ben Teima lists the qualities of man that he thinks are necessary and admirable in serving Hashem.
יְהוּדָה בֶן תֵּימָא אוֹמֵר, הֱוֵי עַז כַּנָּמֵר- Judah ben Tema said: Be strong as a leopard. The Tur noted that the first quality mentioned is עז as it is important. “Since sometimes a person desires to perform a mitzvah but is prevented from performing it because of people who mock him. Therefore, he cautioned you that you should have fortitude against the mockers and not refrain from performing the mitzvah.” Rabbi Perez continues that there will always be those who seek to prevent us from serving Hashem and even to destroy us and our religion. “If we are not armed with boldness, total dedication and conviction we will not be able to uphold our values and G-d’s truth…We so often are alienated and left to fight our battles as Jews alone. This requires great conviction and encouragement when feeling isolated and alone in the values that we believe to be important.”
That is why the leopard is used as an example of עז. A leopard fights alone (unlike a lion who travels with his group= pride). The leopard is used to fighting alone and he has to rely on his own strength and courage as he doesn’t have a group to protect him. “Wherever we are, however isolated we may feel, each of us bear the responsibility to stand up for Zionism and the Jewish state’s right to exist. This mission demands boldness and courage from each of us…”
And, this is how we need to raise our children. In our 7th grade Advisory class we have begun the unit called “Do Not Stand Idly By.” While the unit begins with stressing the power of political action We highlight with them the concept of "Do Not Stand Idly By"- the importance of getting involved when you see injustice in the world, even if it does not directly affect you. We begin with a political action unit to stand up for Israel. Equally as important, their political action will hopefully translate into the way they try to stop injustice in their lives, i.e. bullying, cheating etc. Students discuss why we have the obligation to be “upstanders” and do something in our own "backyards" as well. That is the character trait of עז- having the courage to be an upstander even when and despite if no one else is doing anything.
In Advisory we discuss the bystander effect with them. Why do people tend not to do anything when they see others in trouble? What is standing in our way? Are we often worried about the ramifications our getting involved will have on us? Is doing nothing just as bad as actively participating in hurting others? What can we do to become upstanders?
The students learn about the psychological phenomenon called the bystander effect. Why is it that when people see injustice happening they often do nothing? Social psychologists point to two reasons. 1. Diffusion of responsibility- if there are others looking on as well, they will all assume that someone else will intervene and therefore they do not. 2. Social influence- people monitor the behavior of others during a situation to determine how to act. If no one else is doing anything, then they conclude that help is not needed.
Research shows, as noted in an article by Jenny Friedman “Raising Upstanding Children,” that we as parents can combat the bystander effect. She recommends that first we as parents need to tell our children about the bystander effect. (Yay for us in Advisory- we are doing that already!) By discussing the phenomenon and brainstorming with them why people are hesitant to intervene it helps them become more aware. Also discuss with them how to combat the intimidation we feel to get involved.
This is a great place to talk about “tattling” versus “telling.” According to Dr. Jamie Howard of the Child Mind Institute: Tattling is reporting a peer’s wrongdoing, when the situation is safe and the child can handle it herself. Telling is alerting adults that the situation is not safe and/or your child needs help managing the situation. Tattling to get a peer in trouble can be mean-spirited. Telling to protect a peer from harm is civic-minded or showing concern for others. Second, model getting involved. When your child sees you as an adult being an “upstander” and getting involved in difficult situations he/she is more prone to do so as well. If you see someone in the grocery store struggling with his packages and you help- you are being an upstander. And, explain to your children about why you intervened and how wonderful it felt. Third, says Friedman, “Nurture your child's "heroic imagination." Children are most likely to act altruistically, and even heroically, if they feel their parents would expect it of them. Talk and read about real-life heroes and the difference they've made. Talk about a time when you did something heroic to help another creature.” Fourth, empower her to intervene. Remind her of the other ways we discussed in advisory- other than actively confronting the person who is mistreating the other, if she is hesitant. Here are the LEADERS strategies your children learn in sixth grade: (Notice only the E is a direct confrontation). L- leave no one out By reaching out to all peers, bystanders protect the vulnerable and send the message that everyone has value. E- Empower yourself: stand up to bullies Bystanders can tell bullies that their behavior is unacceptable. A- Amuse with humor: Make light of a dark Situation Using humor when appropriate, bystanders can take the power away from the bullies and ease the pain of the victim. D- Distract the bully or victim For many bystanders, direct confrontation is uncomfortable. Distracting a bully from attacking a victim by, for example, asking him or her if they saw a great TV show last night, helps stop him/her. Distracting a victim not only softens the bully’s attack, but also creates a sense of connection. E- Enlist help: Tell someone who can help Bystanders can’t solve all bully problems alone. It is not “tattling” when students help victims by telling family members and school staff that peers are being harmed. R- Rumors stop with me While it may seem unrelated, spreading rumors actually fuels bullying. When students turn off the rumor mill they decrease the power and impact of bullies. S- Support the victim Even when bystanders feel uncomfortable directly confronting bullies, they can send the message that no one should be hurt or excluded through supportive statements and gestures towards victims. Fifth, “foster caring and social responsibility in your children.” It always struck me that Yom HaShoah is so close to Yom Haatzmaut. In 7th grade Advisory we do speak about the Holocaust and the bystander effect and why so many stood by. Researcher Samuel Oliner studied those who saved Jews during the Holocaust. It seems that those who did so were most often raised by “families that emphasized compassion, inclusiveness and an ethical responsibility to all life. If you practice kindness with your children each day, they're more likely to act heroically when the need arises.” And, that is one reason I have signed up for NORPAC this year again with my son. Despite the fact that the trip is utterly exhausting, I know how important it is to be an upstander and more importantly to foster this social responsibility in my son. Friedman ends with a suggestion to play a “game” with your children- teens as well. We call it “What Would You Do?” (Interestingly enough, there is a television show with that name that presents situations of people in need and many do nothing to step up and help. I often show clips of this show in Advisory). Share a situation and ask your children what they would do. How would you be an “upstander” and what would you do? Why? (You can choose scenarios appropriate for your child’s age. Here are some she suggests: A woman in front of you in the grocery store checkout line discovers she is short one dollar after her groceries have been rung up. Your friend accidentally knocks over his or her milk, spilling it all over the school lunch table. An older student starts making fun of your friend's new shoes. You see a young man with Down Syndrome bussing tables at a local restaurant. You notice that one table of people laughs at him and call him names. You see someone harassing a homeless man. Having עז is not easy- especially when no one else around you has עז. As we have learned since October 7th, we need to stand up for what we believe in-whether in battle against our enemies, or against anti-Semitism. And, we need to translate this עז into how we live our day to day lives. Like a leopard, we often are on our own, and we need to do the right thing despite what others are doing. And, may this עז lead to peace, as it says in Tehillim 29:11: ה' עֹ֖ז לְעַמּ֣וֹ יִתֵּ֑ן ה' | יְבָרֵ֖ךְ אֶת־עַמּ֣וֹ בַשָּׁלֽוֹם The Lord shall grant strength to His people; the Lord shall bless His people with peace. Advisory Update: Sixth Grade: Students discussed social exclusion and bullying online. Seventh Grade: Students began their unit “Do Not Stand Idly By” with a presentation by Stand With Us discussing Israel Advocacy and began learning the myths that they need to combat to stand up for Israel. Eighth Grade: Students engaged in an activity where they wrote “compliments” for every student in their class which will be combined into paragraphs placed in the sefer they receive at graduation dinner. D
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