Happy Mother’s Day! Some years ago I picked up a free Jewish magazine that arrived at my home and the moment I saw this article I knew it would be in a Mother’s Day column. It was called, “Mommy Mitzvah Notes” by Risa Rotman. Yes. We are used to writing “mitzvah notes” for our children to their teachers. (Just to add- your children are never too old for those “mitzvah notes.” If your child says a beautiful Dvar Torah at the table that he learned in school, take the time to send a “mitzvah note” email to the teacher- saying how proud you were of him. Or if your child comes home excited to share what she learned in science, take a monet to send a “mitzvah note” to the teacher. It will make both your child and the teacher feel a sense of pride and satisfaction).
But, these mitzvah notes are ones that you earned as a parent (fathers earn them too!). I know these mitzvah notes written below to the “Morah of all Mommies” will make you smile!
Dear Morah of All Mommies,
Mommy took out the last chocolate bar after cleaning up the entire kitchen. Just before taking a bite, little Yossi asked for some too. Mommy shared even though it was hard for her.
To The Morah Of All Mommies,
Mommy stayed calm when Cheryl had another temper tantrum. Mommy explained to Cheryl why she couldn’t take her to her cousin’s birthday party on the other side of the city, and when Cheryl continued to kvetch, Mommy ignored her and the tantrum finished quickly.
To The Morah Of All Mommies,
Mommy’s friend asked why they didn’t see a different friend in the park anymore. Mommy knew why but changed the subject so that she wouldn’t have to speak Lashon Hara.
Dear Morah Of All Mommies,
Today Mommy’s neighbor got very angry at Mommy because she thought Mommy’s children had created a big mess in the common area. Mommy knew her kids didn’t make the mess, because they had been at the shoe store with her. But Mommy stood quietly while the neighbor shouted and didn’t interrupt. What an amazing Mommy!
Dear Morah Of All Mommies,
Mommy bought some things in the grocery store. She was rushing home in the rain when she realized the cashier had given her too much change. Mommy ran back to the grocery store to return the money even though the rain was beginning to get stronger.
Dear Morah Of All Mommies,
Mommy went to the PTA get-together where she saw many of her friends. She was enjoying chatting with them when she noticed a lady sitting by herself. After a few minutes of schmoozing with her friends, Mommy went over to sit with the lonely lady. Kol hakavod to Mommy!
To The Morah Of All Mommies,
Mommy was waiting patiently at the supermarket when someone pushed her very full wagon in front of her claiming that she’d been there before and just went to find a missing item. Mommy looked at the angry woman, and decided it was not worth arguing, and let her go in front of Mommy.
Dear Morah Of All Mommies,
Mommy was about to rush through her morning brachot when she decided to say them out loud, concentrating on their meaning, word by word.
Dear Morah Of All Mommies,
Mommy had a very bad cold this week, yet she managed to make sure everyone had clean clothes and some kind of normal meal.
As Risa Rotman notes, (pun intended), “Mommies are all superwomen, but does that mean we don’t do the little things that deserve mitzvah notes? Sure we do!” There is nothing like the feeling of knowing that the little things you do are noticed and appreciated. Our children, spouses, bosses, family, or co-workers don’t often write “mitzvah notes” for us. So, we may need to write those mitzvah notes for ourselves.
In Advisory we speak to our 7th graders about the power of positive and negative self- talk. One type of “Positive self- talk” is actually complimenting yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “You are amazing!” There is a body image curriculum of which I use a piece with the 7th grade girls called “Full of Yourself.” The normal connotation is to be egotistical and self- centered. But, when I frame it with the girls we discuss
- Liking yourself is not the same as being selfish
- Respecting yourself is not the same as being stuck-up
- Standing up for yourself is not the same as being pushy.
- Taking yourself seriously does not mean that you are too intense
- Telling the truth does not mean that you're too loud or that you talk too much
- Being in touch with your heart is not the same as being too emotional.
The first two items speak to the importance of the fact that you have permission to compliment yourself and to build yourself up. We need to stop being self- critical and focus on our strengths. As Kierea Miller says in her article, “Compliment Yourself!” “It’s time to stop comparing or complaining, and start complimenting.” As we discuss in Advisory, what we tell ourselves affects how we feel about ourselves. We need to remind ourselves each day about all the things that make us special, or about feats we have achieved! This type of self- talk is called affirmations. It is so easy to focus on what we are not good at. We need to focus on what makes us incredible.
Affirmations are most powerful when you say them out loud and even look in the mirror while doing so. “I am a wonderful mother!” “I am patient!” “I am beautiful!” Or perhaps we should write ourselves mitzvah notes and hang them up on our fridge, so that when we face each day we remember that every day should truly be Mother’s Day.
And, of course, the most important lesson from these Mommy mitzvah notes is that we should take the time to reach out to our own mothers- not only on Mother’s day, and make it clear to them that we notice all that they do for us!
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade: Students continued on the Social Exclusion unit and discussed the qualities of standing up to bullying and being B.R.A.V.E.
Seventh Grade: Students discussed the importance of being upstanders and how to apply that to standing up for Israel.
Eighth Grade: Eighth graders continued their substance abuse unit with a discussion about the dangers of alcohol.
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