All I Really Need To Know I Learn From My Middle School Students

  Each year the middle school teachers dress up in a Purim costume according to a theme that is voted upon.  This year we dressed up as middle school students. With my ugg slip-ons (not exactly dress-code appropriate),  my oversized sweatshirt and my skirt from Ben Yehuda street that has become popular, I came to school dressed like my students. 

As I lived my day dressed as a middle schooler I considered how much of my days throughout the year I live the middle school life. While it was my first time actually dressing like one, I truly do spend most days trying to think like a middle school student and literally putting myself in their shoes,  so that I understand them better.  As parents, when our eldest child reaches the middle school years we often are unsure as we get adjusted to parenting someone that age. (We then quickly figure out that they too are unsure. Luckily, by our 2nd middle schooler we are old hands at managing middle school life!). But, I luckily have hundreds of students each year to learn about and learn from. I learn about how to help these middle schoolers from the middle schoolers themselves.  As it says in Taanit 7a:

וְהַיְינוּ דְּאָמַר רַבִּי חֲנִינָא: הַרְבֵּה לָמַדְתִּי מֵרַבּוֹתַי, וּמֵחֲבֵירַי יוֹתֵר מֵרַבּוֹתַי, וּמִתַּלְמִידַי יוֹתֵר מִכּוּלָּן.

And this is what Rabbi Ḥanina said: I have learned much from my teachers and even more from my friends, but from my students I have learned more than from all of them.

And, the truth is I learn a lot from my students that helps me see life differently…and better.  I recall the famous selection written by Robert Fulghum  All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.   These are the life lessons that Fulghum suggests are essential for all, that can easily be gleaned from kindergarten. 

1. Share everything.

2. Play fair.

3. Don't hit people.

4. Put things back where you found them.

5. Clean up your own mess

6. Don't take things that aren't yours.

7. Say you're SORRY when you HURT somebody.

8. Wash your hands before you eat.

9. Flush.

10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

11. Live a balanced life - learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

12. Take a nap every afternoon.

13. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.

14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

15. Goldfish and hamster and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.

16. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

As I became a middle school student for the day last week, I considered how “All I Really Need To Know I Learn In Middle School EVERY DAY.”  There are so many truisms about life that I learn from my students. And, while I see these lessons lived out in middle school life, I am much more careful as an adult to change the way I act because of them. 

1. Make an effort to be inclusive. It is miserable to feel excluded. 

A lesson learned and felt deeply each year when it comes to the group Purim costumes.  Every year I have students who find Purim to be an extremely painful time of year, as their peers dress in group costumes and they have no one who will include them. Additionally,  Bar/bat mitzvah years have intense social pressure. Coke and Pepsi, places to sit when there isn’t assigned seating…always needing to find someone with whom to “hang out.” And, of course, this could happen daily at the lunchroom table. And, don’t forget recess. Allowing others to join a game or hang out with you at recess when they don’t have a “place” at recess can be life-changing. I am so proud of our students who make an effort to invite someone or to include others who look as if they haven’t found a place.  As an adult, I make so much more of an effort to include others in shul, at smachot and at various get-togethers because of living the middle school life daily. 

2. Invite someone who may not have a place to stay.  

Speaking of bar/bat mitzvahs. I have learned the importance of reaching out to a boy who may live too far away to walk to a bar mitzvah and invite him to stay for Shabbat. 

3. It is okay to make mistakes. 

Middle school students are becoming more mature, can think more abstractly and thirst for independence. We consequently give them more choice and more “power.” While “with great power comes great responsibility” (Spiderman) it is also common to make mistakes as we grow. And, that is okay.  There will always be second chances.  Learning by trial and error is healthy. 

4. Independence is healthy, but we still need the support of others!

 For middle schoolers “others” are often their parents. Yes, we may not be as involved with their work in school or in their friendships or playdates as we were when they were in first grade. But, they still need us involved.  Not in a “helicopter parenting” type of way, but with guidance and hand-holding when needed. 

5. It is hard to work in groups. Compromise and yielding to the opinion of others are essential for success. 

For the first time students are asked to work independently in groups and chevrutot. I often remind myself of the discussions I have with students about how to work with others effectively, despite differing opinions, and how those differing opinions are what often lead to an excellent product.  Delegating is also an important skill.  This past week of color war was an important learning opportunity of how to work with others. And, especially when some students ended up not being on the same team as their best friends. 

6. We all forget things sometimes. 

The consequences of forgetting are often good teaching tools. It helps us learn to be more thoughtful and plan to avoid forgetfulness. 

7. There are others outside my immediate circle. 

Around the age of 12 our children enter the formal operational stage of Piaget’s stages of cognitive development when they realize that others experience life differently from the way they do. This is why at Yavneh we take advantage of this realization and involve the students in chesed activities. This is the perfect age to help reinforce looking at the lives of others and caring about them. Despite going through so many changes and a stressful time of life, they are able to think about others. It is our job, as the adults in their lives, to reinforce that focus. 

8. Stand up for someone who needs help. 

Whether in situations of bullying or social exclusion or just a not so nice comment in class, our middle schoolers are developmentally (as noted in #7) ready to stand up for others.  

9. We often do things we shouldn’t because we care too much about the opinion of our peers. 

The flip side of the positive “looking out for others” is that at times they care too much about others. Oftentimes middle schoolers will do or not do something just to avoid being teased by their friends or because they think they will be considered “cool.”  Hopefully we outgrow that by adulthood…

10. Sometimes friendships change.

It is okay for us to outgrow friends and make new ones. But, we must always be kind to all no matter what. 

11. Friends sometimes fight or disagree, but we can resolve issues skillfully. 

I find that middle school is often the first time students can resolve a conflict between friends with just some slight mediation and oversight. I am proud to see how students can truly speak to each other with honesty and tact at the same time. (Sometimes they need a little prep before to ensure that “tact”).  If only all adults could do the same. I find that even as adults, consulting with a friend or colleague as to how to resolve a conflict is often helpful.

12. Have fun and laugh!  

Middle schoolers remind me that it’s okay to just laugh, and have fun (and dress up in silly costumes on Purim!). My students keep me young at heart and no one knows how to have fun better than middle schoolers. 

I recently watched a TEDx video by Scott Guldin called “What We Can Learn From Middle Schoolers.” Guldin is a middle school teacher who speaks about what he loves about teaching middle school. This is all despite the fact that when people hear that he teaches middle school :”Ooh… They seem betrayed, bewildered and disgusted.  Why do they respond like that? Because even under the best of circumstances middle school is notoriously difficult- physically, psychologically and socially, and in a host of other ways I am sure you do not want me to enumerate.”  He continues to share how despite what the world thinks of middle school, he loves teaching middle school, and that middle schoolers “can teach us to be kinder, happier human beings.” 

He continues that middle school is often depicted as “Chaos in minds, bodies, relationships and emotions. The efforts of middle school students are heroic and worthy of emulating. Life is really adolescence ripped large.  We spend our whole time on earth grappling with what is essential to the middle school experience.  We are going to struggle with the ways our bodies betray us. We are going to wonder, ‘Who are our friends really?’ We are going to fight with and reconcile with our family members. We are going to admit, if only to ourselves, that our parents were right all along. And we’re going to wonder, ‘How can I have my voice heard?’ Trying to do the right thing even if it’s the hard thing and even if it’s unpopular. I feel so proud to teach middle schoolers. It’s because of a middle schooler’s willingness to do the right thing even if it’s hard. Even though they are flawed and frustrating- they are resilient and courageous and beautiful they can teach us how to live if only we are humble enough to listen.” 

As we heard from our children’s teachers today at parent-teacher conferences, we may have left proud or perhaps a bit frustrated. As we sit with our children to debrief what was shared, let us remind ourselves that the middle school years are not easy.  There is so much for them and for us to learn. But, in essence, everything we really need to know we can learn from our middle school students.  And… what we are learning may change each day, and might be difficult at times, but overall let us focus on all the valuable life lessons we are learning from them. 

Shema- A Key To A Restful Sleep

         As I have shared in this column before, one of the highlights of my week is teaching my Navi/Beur Tefillah class.  This past week we took some time to learn about Keriat Shema Al HaMita, the Shema one says before one goes to sleep. When we begin a Beur Tefillah unit I try to focus on a part of davening that does not get a lot of attention, but is a mainstay of Jewish life and inspiration. 

We learned about the content of the bedtime Shema. The theme of forgiving others and hoping for others to forgive us is how we begin.  We pray for Hashem to give us a peaceful sleep. We thank Hashem for protecting us through difficult times. And, we are grateful that Hashem watches over us and will return our soul in the morning when we awake.  We end with Adon Olam highlighting the words (which we often do not notice during tefillah)

 בְּיָדוֹ אַפְקִיד רוּחִי, בְּעֵת אִישַׁן וְאָעִירָה

  Into His hand I entrust my spirit, when I sleep and when awake

While the Shema has many spiritual messages for us, we also focused on the psychological benefits of ending one’s day with Keriat Shema Al HaMita. 

In the article “Bedtime Shema- All’s Well That Ends Well” (Chabad website, author unknown)  it discusses why the bedtime Shema routine is good for your mental health.  “Psychologists who study dreams tell us that the last five conscious minutes of our day determine what we’ll be dreaming about at night. And we all know that how we slept at night determines a lot of how we perform the next day.” 

We know all the research about the importance of disconnecting from technology before bed- allowing one’s brain to rest. What we do in bed before we sleep should relax one’s mind, and end the day. There has been much research on how to quiet one’s mind at the end of the day.  Of course, once we get into bed, all our worries come to the fore. Some recommend a journal as a mindful way to evaluate the day, accept what happened and most importantly to let it go.  I find that saying Shema plays the same role. It ends the day. It gives you the ability to draw a line between today and tomorrow. It allows you to “let it go.” 

Rabbi Efrem Goldberg, in his article “How To Quiet Your Mind.”  Rabbi Goldberg begins by sharing research from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that says that a third of people are not getting the seven hours of sleep needed and it is “an escalating public health crisis.”  Many are having a hard time falling asleep and are resorting to medications to help them sleep. 

“We are living in a time of unprecedented noise; we can hardly hear anyone or anything let alone hear our own inner voice. If we are to be our best selves, we need to quiet so many of the distracting sounds and voices around us and in us…  Some are constantly thinking about every possible problem that could arise, every reason they won’t succeed, everything that could go wrong. For others, the mind is filled with the noise of trying to juggle a million things, emails to return, phone calls to make, people to visit, tasks to get done, people to make happy. For yet others, the mind is overloaded with keeping up with the news cycle, with social media, pop culture, work, home and more. The common denominator is a cluttered mind, a distracted existence…. Who can find peace while awake or calmly fall asleep when your mind is on overdrive, constantly bombarding you with thoughts, worries and things to do?”

I maintain that saying the bedtime Shema can be part of the solution. The importance of shutting down one’s mind is more essential than ever. 

So, why do we begin the bedtime Shema with the words,  “Master of the Universe! I hereby forgive anyone who has angered or bothered me, or has sinned against me . . .May it be Your will, Hashem, my God and God of my fathers, that I shall sin no more nor repeat my sins, neither shall I again anger You nor do what is wrong in Your eyes”- focusing on forgiveness?  When one thinks about the research to ensure restful sleep, these words are a perfect way to leave the day behind: 

Sleep is a journey. As with any journey, you’ll come back more refreshed if you travel light. So now’s the time to leave the baggage behind—meaning, all those grudges and hard feelings that may have been collecting over the day.

We often end the day in bed thinking about the interactions we have had with others that were hurtful or regrettable. The Shema is a way to leave those feelings behind and start fresh the next day. 

Saying Shema before bed is a way to pause, to empty one’s mind. Now you say the Shema Yisrael, declaring that behind all that happened today there is only One G‑d. Say it with intense mental focus and it cleanses the soul. And, we close our eyes when we say the first line to ensure that we concentrate on what we are saying and nothing else. 

The author explains that saying the Shema accomplishes the 6 R’s:

Re-examine- one’s day. Look for the positives and let go of the negatives

Relax- Pause. Let go of the “maddening” thoughts of the day. Empty your mind.

Repent- Let your “mess-ups” go

Refresh- And forgive the mess-ups of others. Fresh start tomorrow.

Refocus- After the introductory paragraphs, you say the Shema Yisrael, declaring that behind all that happened today there is only One G‑d. Say it with intense mental focus and it cleanses the soul.

Re-entrust- Finish with the Hamapil blessing, requesting a peaceful night, entrusting your soul into G‑d’s faithful hands, and praising Him for that which you witnessed today, that His glory illuminates the entire world. 

I will add one more “R”- reflection. Quiet reflection is a wonderful way to get to sleep with a “quiet mind.” 

And, there is much research on stopping before one goes to sleep to reflect on what we are thankful for. In a research study Dr. Robert Emmons,  a group of participants were asked to focus on gratitude before bed.  The majority of participants who were in the gratitude group showed “significantly higher positive affects, satisfaction with their lives, optimism and, most remarkably, they slept better.”  They slept more hours each night, fell asleep more  quickly and woke up feeling more rested. All from just practicing gratitude before bed. These results have been replicated over and over.  Shema is another opportunity for that pause for gratitude- for all that Hashem does to take care of you throughout the day. 

And, all these tips can be applied to the bedtime routines we practice with our children- from even a young age. 

  And, of course, there is a plethora of research on the importance of having a bedtime routine each day- for both children and adults, in helping one’s body and brain be ready for bed,  ensuring good sleep and minimizing problematic sleep behaviors. The Keriat Shema recitation, and all of the above that it accomplishes,  is an important nightly routine to facilitate sleep.

At the same time I was teaching a unit on Keriat Shema with my students,  I coincidentally came across Shema in a different setting around the same time. I have been attending a series of shiurim on Tehillim by Mrs. Peshi Neuburger.  In learning about the battle of Dovid HaMelech with Goliat, we focused on the pasuk in Shmuel 1, 17:16

טזוַיִּגַּ֥שׁ הַפְּלִשְׁתִּ֖י הַשְׁכֵּ֣ם וְהַעֲרֵ֑ב וַיִּתְיַצֵּ֖ב אַרְבָּעִ֥ים יֽוֹם:

And the Philistine drew near morning and evening, and presented himself forty days.

Why did Goliat go out to skirmish with the Jews every morning and every evening? Rashi quoting the Gemara in Sotah 42b says,

השכם והערב.  אמרו רבותינו (סוטה מב ב): כדי לבטלם מקריאת שמע:

Our Rabbis said: (He did this) in order to prevent them from reciting ‘Shema.’

The Gemara in Sotah 42a explains: 

״וְאָמַר אֲלֵיהֶם שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל״. מַאי שְׁנָא ״שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל״? אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן מִשּׁוּם רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן יוֹחַי, אָמַר לָהֶן הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְיִשְׂרָאֵל: אֲפִילּוּ לֹא קִיַּימְתֶּם אֶלָּא קְרִיאַת שְׁמַע שַׁחֲרִית וְעַרְבִית — אִי אַתֶּם נִמְסָרִין בְּיָדָם.

The Torah says about the priest anointed for war: “And he shall say to them: Hear Israel” (Deuteronomy 20:3). The Gemara asks: What is different in this setting that necessitates the usage of the phrase: “Hear Israel”? Rabbi Yoḥanan said in the name of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai: The Holy One, Blessed be He, said to the Jewish people: Even if you have not fulfilled any mitzva except reciting Shema of the morning and the evening, you will not be delivered into the hands of your enemies. 

There is some power to the prayer of Shema that if they truly say it with kavana they will win against their enemies. Goliat knew the power of the Shema and he consequently tried to distract them from that mitzvah. It is something about the emunah and the connection to G-d that this tefillah creates that will lead to their victory and their ability to persist during difficult times.

 This Gemara particularly struck home to me during the ongoing war in Israel when hearing over and over about the belief in G-d that has developed during this war. And, it was highlighted even more yesterday after hearing Rachel Goldberg, wife of Rabbi Avi Goldberg, z”l who was killed in battle.The incredible emunah that she has is what is keeping her going during this difficult time.  

As we approach Purim this week, we focus on that no matter how desperate things appear to be, Hashem can save us in the end. Rachel Sharansky Danziger, who introduced Rachel Goldberg, shared that while the Jews were going through the battle of Chanukah or the terror of their potential annihilation of Purim, they did not know that things would turn out well in the end. They persisted with emunah. So too in Israel today. We battle with no end in sight, but we believe that Hashem will step in. And, especially during Purim, which was a time of הסתר פנים- when Hashem’s “face” was hidden, no one knew definitively that they would prevail. But, it was emunah that kept them going. 

This Gemara In Sotah highlighted for me one more purpose/accomplishment of the bedtime Keirat Shema is our time to reiterate our emunah and belief that Hashem takes care of us. “Religion serves as a resource for coping with negative life experiences and existential fear, ”   states Dr. Clay Routledge.  One can more easily relax one’s mind before bed knowing and believing that Hashem will take care of you.  And, simply the practice of sharing our worries with Hashem before bed lightens one’s heart. 

As I shared with my students, Keriat Shema Al HaMita is not just a mitzvah. It is a mindful way to end one’s day with tranquility and hope. 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade-  Student did a “How Are We Doing?” lesson to check in to see how school is going.

Seventh Grade: Students learned about the impact of “upbeat thinking.” 

Eighth Grade:  Students began a unit on honesty versus cheating.

Connecting To Hashem Through Tefillah

 

This past week I had the privilege of completing the section of Trei Asar and Nevi'im in general as part of the OU’s Nach Yomi learning program. As part of this completion we had a siyum in our community and I had the opportunity to deliver the Dvar Torah at the siyum. 

Rabbi Berel Wein published a book in 2015 called Who Knows Twelve about Trei Asar  (which I used for part of my Dvar Torah), and he wrote in his introduction: 

“I was 14 years old when I first encountered Trei Asar as a subject of study at my beloved yeshiva in Chicago. Sixty five years later in Jerusalem, as I study Trei Asar once more, the words are the same but their meaning is far different than what it was when I was an adolescent. Much has happened to me and to the Jewish people over the past sixty five years.  This book was completed and edited in the shadows of the pain and costs of war against Hamas in Gaza. I never imagined that I would experience such a conflict in my lifetime or live in such an openly anti-Semitic world as I do in 2015. The words of the prophets of Trei Asar have been a personal comfort to me in these difficult days.”

Incredible. Gaza, Hamas, anti-Semitism. He wrote these words in 2015, but he could have written those words today.  And, in truth, the words of Trei Asar have in fact served as a comfort to those of us learning it during this Gaza war against Hamas. 

It made me think of my yearly introduction in my Navi class as I learn with my students as it famously says in Gemara Megilla 14a: 

הרבה נביאים עמדו להם לישראל כפלים כיוצאי מצרים אלא נבואה שהוצרכה לדורות נכתבה ושלא הוצרכה לא נכתבה

Many prophets arose for the Jewish people, numbering double the number of Israelites who left Egypt. However, only a portion of the prophecies were recorded, because only prophecy that was needed for future generations was written down in the Bible for posterity, but that which was not needed, as it was not pertinent to later generations, was not written.

Clearly, the words of Trei Asar were “הוצרכה לדורות”  as they so apply to and are relevant to what we our going through today in our generation. We need the words of any of the neviim that were written down to give us strength and hope. 

This past Shabbat I discussed how Chagai, Zecharia and Malachi were the last neviim, as prophecy was over after their time. How dejecting! The intimate connection between Hashem and the people of Bnai Yisrael is over. Where is the hope that Rabbi Wein was referencing?

Yet,  Rav Soloveitchik in his article in Tradition “Lonely Man of Faith” points out that that connection that existed in the days of nevuah is in no way over.  There are two ways that the miracle of revelation takes place. The first way is when G-d initiates and reaches out to speak to man. That is the prophetic community.. But, the second way, no less holy, is when man calls out to G-d and “the same miracle happens again” - that is the prayer community. “The prayer community was born the very instant the prophetic community expired and, when it did come into the spiritual world of the Jew of old, it did not supersede the prophetic community, but rather perpetuated it. Prayer is the continuation of prophecy and the fellowship of prayerful men is ipso facto the fellowship of prophets. The difference between prayer and prophecy is, as I have already mentioned, related not to the substance of the dialogue, but rather to the order in which it is conducted…” With prophecy G-d takes the initiative and with prayer man takes the initiative.  The dialogue with G-d was shifted from prophecy to prayer. 

(And, it therefore makes sense that Chaggai, Zecharia and Malachi, the last of the prophets, were part of the Anshei Knesset HaGedolah who established Tefillah). 

It is so incredible to remind ourselves that with the end of Nevuah- we need not be despaired. And, every day when we daven and connect to Hashem this is instead of Nevuah- what a gift and a privilege! In essence we have the privilege of each having a mini- nevuah experience each day as we connect to Hashem with tefillah!

This piece of presentation really hit home to me after I read an article this past Shabbat about Lena Troufanov- mother of Sasha who was just released, “From the Depths” by Ariella Schiller. Lena herself was taken captive and released early on along with her mother while her husband was murdered on October 7th and her son taken captive. The article shares that a rabbi named Rabbi Raanan reached out to provide some support over these months, and called her regularly with different ideas. “‘Maybe a call to a foreign minister could free Sasha, or perhaps she should reach out to those in Russia, or maybe, maybe…’ Lena, who was not observant, cut off the rabbi and said, ‘Rabbi, the only hishtadlut (effort) I need is tefillah. All else is irrelevant. Rak b’Tefillah (only with prayer) will my son come home…’ Because something changed for Lena down in the tunnels in Gaza. ‘At long last, I understood the words of Dovid HaMelech, Min hameitzar karati kah” - from the depths I called out to You, G-d. I called out to Him and He heard me.’”  And, today, Lena finishes Tehillim every day. 

Somehow, Lena intuits that Tefillah is our way of connecting to Hashem. It is prophecy of today. And, prayer for her, and for other hostages, became a source of psychological strength and hope. As written in “The Power of Prayer Personal Perspective: How thought and faith can strengthen our inner resolve.”

 Prayer can act as a protective factor by providing individuals with comfort and a coping mechanism to manage stress during difficult situations. According to research, prayer can reduce stress, anxiety, and negative emotions, often functioning as a coping mechanism that can promote overall well-being by providing a sense of connection to a higher power and fostering feelings of support and control, particularly when faced with challenging situations.

So, how do we convince our children that the ability to daven, connect with and form relationships with Hashem is a privilege?  How do we create a “mini-nevuah” experience for them? In the over 30 years I have been in both informal and formal Jewish education this question has been on my mind.  Why is it that some students daven with their full hearts and while some, no matter how hard we try, just go through the motions? I can spend weeks addressing this question, but I want to highlight a few practical strategies we can implement immediately.

This topic is addressed in a 2013 article in Jewish Action “Can Schools Do A Better Job of Teaching Tefillah?” He quotes a research study by Chana Tanenbaum of Bar-Ilan University who surveyed 350 yeshiva day school graduates who were in their gap year in Israel. Only 16.4% said they found tefillah to be a “spiritually uplifting event…In contrast, 20% of the same group found participation in sports teams to be fairly or extremely meaningful to their religious growth.”  This survey is from 2013, so I hope the results are better today, but clearly that data is disappointing. (And, we are proud of our Beur Tefillah curriculum here at Yavneh). 

Two very basic ideas in the article suggested were:

The simplest, most powerful way to have an effective davening is to stop before you open your siddur and think about what you are about to do. We encourage our students to look at the siddur when not in davening. Write little notes next to different brachot concerning areas of focus and what different pieces of tefillah mean. 

I have a little notebook that I keep in my purse. When I hear about someone whom I want to daven for, I jot it down. I take the list out when I daven. It jogs my brain; reminds me that these are things I want to address. I always keep the book with me. It keeps tefillah on my mind throughout the day. What a great idea for anything that is on your mind to ask Hashem about- not just other people to daven for! 

One other idea which has helped my Tefillah-  I often recommend to students to use the Metsudah Inter-linear siddur. I daven with it daily. The way the translations are written one can look at the Hebrew and English at the same time. What a wonderful way to understand what one is praying. 

In a 2016 article in the Jewish Link  Rabbi Daniel Alter writes about “Teaching Meaningful Tefillah: Directions and Guidelines.” He stresses that “ How can we instill the sense of value and importance of tefillah in our children? The home environment has the lead role in achieving this goal. Your child’s day school is your partner…Parents should not delegate the responsibility of tefillah education to the school. A child who davens every day in school, but does not daven on Sundays, Shabbat or during vacation, is a child who thinks that tefillah is something we do in school but not in our ‘real lives.’ And, when our children see us taking davening seriously, they learn the importance of davening.”

So, if we as parents, model for them being invested in davening, write notes in our siddur, show our children we are thinking about what Tefillah means, and help them see that davening is a privilege, we can change their Tefillah experience. 

As I watched the hostages being released and as we suffered the fate of those whose bodies were returned this week, I know that the only thing keeping us going is Tefillah.  As Rabbi Wein noted, whether due to Hamas or anti-Semitism, we need that personal comfort. I want our students to know that Hashem is always listening, even and especially during tough times. We, the school, will continue to partner with you to help our children connect with prayer in both good and not so good times. 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade: Students learned about the pitfalls of popularity- and that it’s not all that it appears to be! 

Seventh Grade:   Students learned about the different characteristics between someone who is resilient versus someone who cracks under difficulty.  They also heard a presentation by Rabbi Yitzy Haber about how he coped through his battle with illness as a teenager.

Eighth Grade:  Students discussed their changing relationship with their parents.