As the school year comes
to a close and we say goodbye to our 8th graders, we begin to consider what our
children have gained in these halls. In the past two weeks I have been
teaching an elective class to 8th graders on Emunah. Why that topic? After considering all the academic skills we
have relayed to our children we also hope that they have gained
social/emotional skills and spiritual skills as well.
“Spiritual skills,” you might ask? We know social/emotional skills, as that is what Advisory is for (and hopefully woven into their other classes as well). But, what are “spiritual skills” and how do we teach them? I have been reading a book by Slovie Jungreis Wolf called Raising A Child With Soul. While I must honestly admit that I have not yet
finished reading the book, Wolf focuses on how raising a child with
spirituality is in essence good parenting. She writes, “I have always been amazed at the amount of planning parents put into the minutest details of their babies’ lives.
Months before the baby is even born, the baby nurse, nursery colors, the
brand of stroller, and even the preschool have all been discussed. As the
child grows, so, too, does the list. Swim, karate, ballet, art French, chess, and tennis lessons from the time they’re tots- all ingredients that spell overload for both parents and
children. We strive to give our children the best we possibly can. We worry
that they receive proper nutrition, cultural experiences, and an excellent
education. What is most painful for me is the fact that rarely have I heard parents discussing their plan to develop their child’s soul… When was the last time you heard parents discussing their hopes for their child’s moral development?
Wolf continues to stress the importance of building a mikdash me’at- a miniature sanctuary, where G-d dwells, in our homes. It is not about having a shul in one’s home. Rather, it is about “embracing holiness in our daily moments of living.” Children who do grow up in a home where G-d is constantly being acknowledged become spiritual. This awareness of G-d exists in good times and bad. During challenging times, this child sees all of life challenges through a spiritual eye.
There is a plethora of research indicating the positive impact of spirituality on mental health (anxiety, depression, happiness, improved post- traumatic recovery etc.) and physical health. The 12 step substance use program is famous for the healing power of the connection to spirituality and G-d. The Eleventh Step of Alcoholics Anonymous stresses the power of spirituality and “to improve our conscious contact with God,
as we understand God….” The literature of Alcoholics Anonymous remarkably refers to this power:
Those of us who have come to make regular use of prayer would no more do without it than we would refuse air, food or sunshine. And for the same reason. When we refuse air, light or food the body suffers. And when we turn away from
meditation and prayer, we likewise deprive our minds, our emotions and our
intuitions of vitally needed support. As the body can fail its purpose for lack
of nourishment, so can the soul. We all need the light of God’s reality, the
nourishment of His strength, and the atmosphere of His grace. (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 97-98).
Raising a child with G-d in their daily lives,
(Emunah), allows them to face life with strength and faith. Wolf tells a
story: On Sunday morning, Mendy and I took a trip into Manhattan with our
children. We decided to spend the day at Chelsea Piers… Once inside, the kids
decided to attempt the rock- climbing wall. My then four- year-old son,
Akiva, insisted on joining his older siblings as they began their ascent. I
watched him harnessed in ropes, as his little figure grew smaller with each
step. My heart beat a little quicker until he finally made it down. I ran over
to him and hugged him hard. ‘Akiva, weren’t you scared?’ I asked. He
looked at me for a second and then replied simply, ‘No, Mommy. Of course I
wasn’t afraid. Why should I be? I was connected!” It dawned on me that this
small child had just uncovered a significant truth. You can go through an array of life experiences, some quite difficult to bear; however, if you feel connected to a
higher source, you never have to be afraid.”
As parents, how do we create this mikdash me’at? By, helping our children to develop personal relationships with G-d
and be cognizant of Him in every moment.
So, now you understand why I decided to choose Emunah as the topic in my course. I feel that it is a subject that needs more attention in our modern Orthodox community. Not only is it good for them as Jews, but it is good for them emotionally as well. It changes one’s whole perspective on life. In the class we spent time learning and applying the 13 Principles of Faith of the Rambam. We also utilized a book called Living Emunah For Teens, by Rabbi David Ashear (who has similar books for adults). Rabbi Ashear speaks about how small scenarios like getting a C on your Chumash test or an insult from a friend, if one recalls that G-d is running the show, and it is all part of His plan, then our worries diminish. “Imagine if throughout the day, you found messages
from Hashem. When you faced a challenge, He would let you know that He sees
what you’re going through and has the whole situation in hand. When something
good happened, it came with a note attached that said, ‘This is something
special just for you.’ There would be no greater source of courage, comfort and
joy in our lives. We would have no worries. We would feel pampered and
protected at all times, even in the midst of something that would otherwise be
unpleasant.” If one lives like this, with emunah, one would always be positive. And, on the other hand, those who are bitter and are always complaining and worrying, they do not truly believe that G-d is taking care of them.
The students had a daily assignment- a השגחה פרטית
(Divine Intervention) Journal. Each day they had to look for an event in their
lives where they saw Hashem. Whether it is forgetting your notebook, and having to go back to school, to only realize you had forgotten your math book too - that you really needed! Or, to be frustrated by not being able to go to the
movies with your friends, and therefore you were able to be there when your
favorite cousin popped by. The point of this assignment is to open
their eyes so they will make a conscious effort to see Hashem. This realization
can only improve their dailly Tefillah, as they will come to see that they are
truly talking to G-d.
There is a famous story of the Kotzker Rebbe. He was walking by a small
boy and asked him, “Little boy, where is G-d?” The boy replied, “That’s easy.
He is everywhere.” The Kotzker Rebbe responded, “G-d is only where you
allow Him to enter.” As parents, as with any value or skill we want our children to acquire, when we model bringing G-d into our daily lives, our children will mimic and internalize this behavior. And, when they learn Tanach or even learn science or history, we need to make a conscious effort to point out the hand of Hashem.
(Interestingly enough, after I started planning
this article, I noticed that in this past week’s Jewish Link, there was an article by Dr. Renee
Nussbaum “On Experiencing Hashem In Our Lives: Hashem Hugged Me Today.” She quoted Rabbi Yudin who calls our noticing
Hashem’s revealing Himself in our daily lives
“Divine winks.” She calls them “Divine hugs”- even during hard times).
So, as they graduate Yavneh Academy, or even finish a year of middle school, are they growing as spiritual beings? Will they carry the mikdash me’at we have built with them throughout the summer and beyond? As we know from the famous song, based on a passage from by Rabbi Eliezer Azikri, in the Sefer Charedim, בִּלְבָבִי מִשְׁכָּן אֶבְנֶה לַהֲדַר כְּבוֹדוֹ, “I will build a tabernacle in my heart to glorify God's honor.”- It is the heart of each Jew where the travelling mikdash must be built- so he/she can take Hashem when “on the road” and welcome Him to enter.
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade- They created a Success Guide of tips for
incoming sixth grade students based what they had discovered this year about
the keys for succeeding in middle school
Seventh Grade- Students finished a unit on “Should I Say
Anything” and the importance of being an “upstander” and not a
“bystander.”
Eighth Grade: Students experienced a Day Of Wonder -
where they watched the film “Wonder” and then contemplated through created
tiles that will become part of a display at Yavneh: After 10 years in this school- what impact have you made on others? How do you think you will be remembered? More importantly, how would you like to be remembered by others?
