All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Middle School At Yavneh

            For those of you who have been following my column each week, you will know that I generally write on Sunday.  This week I was busy at the most incredible 8th grade graduation.  If you were there or watched online you will agree how special the graduation was.  The 8th graders got the memorable moment for which they had hoped.  We will miss them!

            As I sat at graduation, I considered the famous selection written by Robert Fulghum  All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.   These are the life lessons that Fulghum suggests are essential for all, that can easily be gleaned from kindergarten. 

1. Share everything.

2. Play fair.

3. Don't hit people.

4. Put things back where you found them.

5. Clean up your own mess

6. Don't take things that aren't yours.

7. Say you're SORRY when you HURT somebody.

8. Wash your hands before you eat.

9. Flush.

10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

11. Live a balanced life - learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

12. Take a nap every afternoon.

13. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.

14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

15. Goldfish and hamster and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.

16. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

            All important life lessons.  Fulghum reminds us that we need to stop for a moment and absorb the life lessons that have been ingrained in us without us even realizing.  

            This week, however, I considered how “All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Middle School.”  

 First, this week our 8th graders shared at graduation, at a poignant ending presentation in which all the 8th graders spoke, some of the lessons they learned  at Yavneh. I like to call it: 

All I really need to know  I learned in Yavneh Academy Middle School

I learned HOW to learn.

I learned what it means to love and celebrate our faith.

I learned to be a part of a team.

I learned to be creative.

I learned about compassion.

I learned about strength.

I learned about the importance of chesed.

I learned how to speak up, and share my ideas.

I learned how to Zoom!

I learned how to be a good friend.

Recently, we all learned firsthand

that life doesn’t always go as planned.

But there is even a lesson in that.

A lesson about learning to adjust, and grow.

A lesson about being resilient.

We also learned, more than ever,

how much our teachers and administrators cared.

How they were there for us.

                I couldn’t have said it better myself! 

            Our 7th graders also had a chance to share what they learned in middle school this year in their last Advisory session yesterday.  They met with their advisors and created 7th Grade Time Capsules to be opened in 2030. The Time Capsules contained facts about this year and artifacts that characterized their 7th grade experiences. Inside was also  A Letter to My Future Self which included three pieces of wisdom they gained this year- three things they learned.  (They also included two memories from the COVID- 19 they will never forget, and one plan for changing the world around them-the theme of this year’s seventh grade Advisory).  We stressed that they are not to write things like  “I learned to divide. ” Rather, examples like “I learned that I am better at math than I thought” or  “I learned that there are some friends that are more loyal than others and it’s good to stick to those friends.”  We reminded them that they will open this time capsule ten years later and then they will see if those pieces of wisdom were truly internalized. 

            Some examples of All I really need to know I learned in 7th Grade at Yavneh  were: 

I learned that when a long-term project is assigned, to start it right away.

I learned that certain friends are not good for me, and best not to sit next to them during class.

I learned that I am hard on myself when it comes to being a perfectionist. I need to learn to not be so hard on myself.

I learned it’s better to approach a teacher when I am having problems in class rather than hoping they won’t notice.

I learned that everything I do affects those around me. 

I learned that I can change the world even though I am just a kid.

I learned to keep my cellphone outside the room while doing homework.

I learned that when a friend is in trouble I can go to an adult for help. 

I learned that it is time to grow up and take responsibility for what I do.

            These 7th graders learned so much of what we tried to relay to them this year. 

            Our sixth graders likewise had their last Advisory session yesterday where they were asked to choose five pieces of advice of how to succeed in middle school to share with our incoming sixth graders.  (Here is a sample!) 

All I really need to know I learned in 6th Grade at Yavneh

1.    If you miss notes, get them from a friend. Don’t just forget the notes.

2.    Locker advice- put your English stuff in your locker during Hebrew and put your Hebrew stuff in your locker during English.  Keep a copy of your schedule with you at the beginning of the year.

3.    Use your iPad for the right purposes- don’t get distracted by it. Use it, don’t abuse it. 

4.    Always write down your homework and not rely on parent locker.

5.    Pay attention in class. It gets you really far. 

6.    Don’t let your social life get in the way of good grades.

7.    Always include people in your groups. Don't let people feel left out, it's practically bullying.

8.    At a bat mitzvah, always thank the parents.

9.    If you're taking a test and get stuck on a question, skip it for now and go back to it later. You may want to put a note on the top of your page saying, "Go back to question 18!"

10. Girls: Manage your time- you will have a lot of Bat Mitzvahs.

11. When emailing to a teacher write:
Hi, ____________. I hope you are having a good evening.

(Message)
Thank you so much, 

12. Go to Dr. Frohlich if you have problems. Don’t hold it in. (My personal favorite...I had to include it!) 

Students in all three grades offered items that related to things they learned during this distance learning time:

            I learned that I prefer to learn in person than on zoom!

I learned that I miss Yavneh when I am not there. 

I learned that on zoom I am less distracted by my friends than in class.

I learned that I miss hearing the bells at school, as at home I have to remember when to go to the next zoom class!

I learned to appreciate my friends more.

I learned to wash my hands for the length of the Happy Birthday song.

I learned to call my grandparents more often! 
         I learned that if you are losing patience with a family member who you are spending A LOT of time with it's a good idea to take a break and calm yourself down. 

I learned that it’s kind of fun hanging out with my family and I like having my parents around more. 

                   It says in Avot 1:17   וְלֹא הַמִּדְרָשׁ הוּא הָעִקָּר, אֶלָּא הַמַּעֲשֶׂה  "It is not the learning that is important but the action."  Or as it says in Kiddushin 40b 
תלמוד גדול שהתלמוד מביא לידי מעשה "Learning is greater as it brings to action." I hope that all that our students have learned this year will be applied to their day to day actions.  

             And, when I think about it, we as educators learned so much this year as well.  In our meetings, we have discussed, are there things that we “learned”this year that we can and will stress more in our teaching during a “standard” year?  Most definitely. 

Here are my

 All I really need to know as an educator I learned this year at Yavneh

1.    Teach from a place of compassion and understanding. Things might be tougher at home than we know. 

2.    Not every learning method works for each child. Some children who struggled all year thrived during zoom. Some of our star pupils really had a hard time. 

3.    Consider who you call on and how you call on him/her.  During zoom classes it is so hard to ensure that all are engaged. It is the job of a teacher to engage all students at their individual comfort levels.  Some students were comfortable using the chat to answer questions, but wouldn’t raise their hand.  In “regular” class let’s make sure that all students have an opportunity to be heard- even the shy ones. 

4.    Check for understanding. The chat feature and virtual hand raising were a great way to ensure all are “getting” what’s going on. We need to make sure that we are checking the pulse of the classroom including those quiet students who are hesitant to self-advocate. 

5.    Reach out when concerned without blame.  When a student is not showing up to a zoom or missing work, direct contact to reach out with concern makes a difference. 

6.    Recording zoom classes helps some students. For some, class moves too quickly and they can benefit from being able to review class over again.  How to apply that to a regular classroom? 

7.    Our children need to socialize! We learned that chill zones, chesed events and game nights are so needed for all children… especially for those who may not have a “go-to” group. 

8.    There is nothing more important than checking in on our students.  Those zoom check-ins, or calls home help students feel cared for and help them realize that we are supporting them all the way. 

9.    Social- emotional learning is essential!  We brought Advisory back into our zoom learning and made sure it was a priority. The insights that our children shared during these sessions were quite remarkable. 

            And, as parents, we learned so much as well. To sum it up, I believe we learned the importance of structure, with flexibility.  We learned how special family time can be, as long as we have “self-care” time too. We learned how to tackle difficult conversations with our children, while helping them feel secure. And, we learned that we are true partners with school and together we can get our children through this difficult time. 

            Thank you for partnering with us this year- especially during the past few months. We hope that all of our children have learned or will learn much of what they need to know within our walls (or virtual walls).  Have a wonderful summer!

Advisory Update:

Sixth Graders: Students focused on cyberbullying, cyberexclusion and the importance of thinking before you post.  As noted above, they ended the year sharing tips for incoming sixth graders which will be collated into a Success Guide shared with the sixth graders at the beginning of the coming school year.

Seventh Graders:  - Students discussed whether it is alright to do nothing when you are concerned about a friend and when you should tell an adult?  As noted above, they ended the year creating their 7th Grade Time Capsules to be opened in 2030. 

Eighth Grade:  In their last Advisory session students had the opportunity to discuss how they were feeling about the unusual ending to their time at Yavneh and their mixed feelings about graduating. They discussed what excited them about high school and some of their worries.  This lesson was followed by a program with Yavneh alumni who just graduated high school to speak to them about what high school is really like, and provide a chance for questions.