Vacation is coming! To be honest, I need a vacation…from my phone. I never feel absolutely relaxed except for on Shabbat, when I cannot check it. I am constantly responding to e-mails. And, even if they are not work e-mails, the e-mails are asking for my attention. On Shabbat I can simply enjoy my children and hopefully they are enjoying their time with me.
I was recently reading a book by philosophy professor Samuel Lebens A Guide for the Jewish Undecided- A philosopher makes the case for Orthodox Judaism. He quoted an article by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks calling Shabbat “the world’s greatest seminar in work-life balance.” Rabbis Sacks shared a story: A woman from Silicon Valley got in touch with me and said, ‘Rabbi Sacks, I’m worried all our children are addicted to smartphones. They’re ruining their social skills. They’re destroying their attention span. They can’t concentrate anymore. So with my children we have decided as a family we’re going to have a screen-free day once a week. No smartphones, no laptops, no iPads…You’ll love what we are calling it. We’re calling it Shabbat…’
That is the power of Shabbat today. In Moses’s day, freedom from the slavery to Pharaoh; today, freedom from tyranny to social media and email.”
(I actually referenced a movement called Tech Shabbat in my blog last year which I had come across when I saw a link to a video by Tiffany Shalin on Technology Shabbat. She describes an entire movement, popular even among non-Jews, to choose one day to disconnect from technology and reconnect with the people in our lives. It is an opportunity to stop “phubbing,” or snubbing a person in favor of your phone).
Professor Leben continues that he is not as disciplined as the woman who contacted Rabbi Sacks, and he is constantly tempted and would not be able to keep to a screen free day. But, “because I relate to it as a commandment from G-d, I find that I am able to keep it up. I am not even tempted…The peace of mind, and the oasis of family time that Shabbat creates, are some serious benefits that accrue to the observant Jew…”
This piece in Leben’s book struck me as I had just read an article in the December 16 issue of The Week magazine “Teens In Crisis- American adolescents are suffering an epidemic of anxiety and depression- why?” The article begins that even before covid- from 2009-2017, depression spiked 69% among 16-17 year olds (National Survey on Drug Use and Health). The Center for Disease Control states that high school students feeling “persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness” has risen from 26% to 44%. Suicide is now the 2nd leading cause of death for children ages 10-14, according to the CDC. It has been called by the American Academy of Pediatrics a “national emergency.”
Why? You don’t need to be a research psychologist to take a guess. Smartphones and social media play a significant role! Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt points out that “the crisis emerged in the exact years when American teens were getting smartphones and becoming daily users of social media.” As I have noted before, teens are constantly comparing themselves to others who seem to have much better and successful lives. They are feeling more inadequate and left out. And, of course, spending so much time online they lose face-to-face relationships. Social media does not give them the social connection they need. And, then there is the lack of sleep due to staying up late on devices, leading to mental health issues.
(On a side note, just this month alone, I had four conversations with middle school parents who were hesitant to give their children cellphones, but felt they had no choice. I know that many parents are worried about these side effects of device usage).
So, both we, the adults, and teens, could use some tech free time to gain some peace of mind. We need a vacation!
We hope you noticed that we proudly launched our Student Technology Advisory Committee during Chanukah. The 7th and 8th grade representatives will be working throughout the year to come up with initiatives to encourage healthy technology use. The initiatives will come from them. They began with a “Go Dark While The Candles Are Lit” encouraging students to shut down their phones for at least 18 minutes while the candles are lit to spend time with their families.
As we take a break from school in the next week, let us all try to take a break from technology- somehow. Whether it is during dinner together. One hour in the car. Or during the boat ride. Let us take the break we want and need, and provide our children with the break they may not want, but need as well.
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade:Students finished up their unit on manners and proper behavior. They also reviewed what to expect when they receive their first middle school report card, and how to discuss them with their parents.
Seventh Grade: Students wrapped up their empathy unit with a focus on how we in the Jewish community and at Yavneh apply these empathy skills.
Eighth Grade: Students tackled the tough topic of when in life we might face difficulties and how they can apply resilience skills during this high school admissions process.
