It is hard to believe that we only have a few more days of school. We are grateful for all the strides our students have made and thank you, the parents, for your partnership. We are, of course, grateful for our dedicated teachers who truly spend hours upon hours preparing their lessons, grading papers and most importantly creating relationships with our students. A testament to this relationship is an activity that we do at the end of the year in sixth, seventh and eighth grades which we fondly call the “Gratitude to Teachers Lesson.” There is a different “trigger” at the start of the lesson for each grade to help the students think about all they have gained from their teachers that year. Students are then each randomly assigned four teachers to whom to write gratitude letters. As part of that letter they are asked to specify something they learned that year that made an impact. Teachers then receive the letters on the last day of school. We began this tradition during covid and when I saw how meaningful it was for the teachers, we have continued each year.
On Shavuot I read an article by Rabbi Yissocher Frand called “Standing Up To The Task.” When I read it, it made me think of those relationships that our teachers form with our students, and the relationships that we as parents need to form with our children to ensure their growth and development. Rabbi Frand begins with a question. How is it possible that the Jewish people who were on the 49th level of impurity got the Torah?! In fact, the midrash states that the angels turned to Hashem when He was saving the Jewish people at the Yam Suf questioning why He was saving them over the Egyptians:
הללו עובדי עבודה זרה והללו עובדי עבודה זרה
These [the Egyptians] are idolaters and these [the Jews] are idolaters.
And, despite their low level, 50 days later they got the Torah. Rabbi Frand asks, “It boggles the mind. Seven weeks? Is that all it took to emerge from the depths of the shaarei tumah to such spiritual eminence that they could absorb kol haTorah kulah?”
To answer this question, Rabbi Frand moves to an example from the life of Rabbi Yehoshua ben Gamla. During that time period there was a less than ethical practice that the government would sell the position of Kohen Gadol to the highest bidder. The wife of Rabbi Yehoshua ben Gamla was wealthy and paid King Yanai for her husband to become Kohen Gadol. Was Yehoshua Ben Gamla a fraud? We see that in Bava Batra 21a it says:
דְּאָמַר רַב יְהוּדָה אָמַר רַב: בְּרַם, זָכוּר אוֹתוֹ הָאִישׁ לַטּוֹב – וִיהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן גַּמְלָא שְׁמוֹ, שֶׁאִלְמָלֵא הוּא, נִשְׁתַּכַּח תּוֹרָה מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל. שֶׁבִּתְחִלָּה, מִי שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ אָב – מְלַמְּדוֹ תּוֹרָה, מִי שֶׁאֵין לוֹ אָב – לֹא הָיָה לָמֵד תּוֹרָה. מַאי דְּרוּשׁ? ״וְלִמַּדְתֶּם אֹתָם״ – וְלִמַּדְתֶּם אַתֶּם .הִתְקִינוּ שֶׁיְּהוּ מוֹשִׁיבִין מְלַמְּדֵי תִינוֹקוֹת בִּירוּשָׁלַיִם… הִתְקִינוּ שֶׁיְּהוּ מוֹשִׁיבִין בְּכׇל פֶּלֶךְ וּפֶלֶךְ. וּמַכְנִיסִין אוֹתָן כְּבֶן שֵׁשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה כְּבֶן שְׁבַע עֶשְׂרֵה,
What was this ordinance? As Rav Yehuda says that Rav says: Truly, that man is remembered for the good, and his name is Yehoshua ben Gamla. If not for him the Torah would have been forgotten from the Jewish people. Initially, whoever had a father would have his father teach him Torah, and whoever did not have a father would not learn Torah at all.The Gemara explains: What verse did they interpret homiletically that allowed them to conduct themselves in this manner? They interpreted the verse that states: “And you shall teach them [otam] to your sons” (Deuteronomy 11:19), to mean: And you yourselves [atem] shall teach, i.e., you fathers shall teach your sons. When the Sages saw that not everyone was capable of teaching their children and Torah study was declining, they instituted an ordinance that teachers of children should be established in Jerusalem. … Therefore, the Sages instituted an ordinance that teachers of children should be established in one city in each and every region [pelekh]. And they brought the students in at the age of sixteen and at the age of seventeen.
In essence, Rabbi Yehoshua ben Gamla, who bribed his way into being Kohen Gadol, saved the future of the Jewish people through establishing education for those whose parents could not teach them. If not for him the Torah would have been forgotten from the Jewish people. Yavneh Academy would not be here today without him.
How can it be that this is the same man? Rabbi Frand quotes the Sfat Emet:
“…the two Yehoshua ben Gamlas are, in fact, one and the same. And though his entry into the Kehunah Gedolah may have come about through unscrupulous means, the move ultimately resulted in a metamorphosis of his entire persona. Once he became the Kohein Gadol, people started treating him like a Kohein Gadol. They afforded him the kavod due to a Kohein Gadol. They asked him their sh’eilos. They davened on his behalf. And as a result, he became a different person. Because people respond to the way that others treat them.”
This, in turn, answers our original question of how the Jewish people can go from idol-worshippers to Torah “acceptors” in 50 days? Before they got the Torah Hashem says to the Jewish people in Shemot 19:6:
וְאַתֶּ֧ם תִּהְיוּ־לִ֛י מַמְלֶ֥כֶת כֹּהֲנִ֖ים וְג֣וֹי קָד֑וֹשׁ
but you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.
When they Jewish people heard what Hashem thought of them, says Rabbi Frand, it transformed them from idol worshippers to a ג֣וֹי קָד֑וֹשׁ- a holy nation. If G-d had faith in them, they could rise to that level.
Rabbi Frand eloquently says, “That is how people react; this is human nature. We rise or fall to the level of faith that others have in us. What is true for adults is certainly true for children. If there is one crucial lesson for all parents to know, it is this: Your children’s behavior will reflect how you treat them. If we treat them like immature, incapable children, then that is what they will become. But if we show how greatly we admire them, how strongly we believe in them, how much hope and aspiration we have for their futures, then they will live up to that expectation.”
We as parents, and educators, need to ensure that our children see themselves as a מַמְלֶ֥כֶת כֹּהֲנִ֖ים וְג֣וֹי קָד֑וֹשׁ- we know they can do it! We know they can achieve in their spiritual lives, their character and in their academics. We must relay the message to our children even or specifically after seeing a grade on their report card that is less than stellar, that we know you can do it. We will help you uncover that power you have within. I am always proud of you and believe in you. Only once we relay that message to them will they “live up to that expectation.”
Recently, my family got into a discussion about Helen Keller and how it was possible that she accomplished all that she did. I then shortly after came across a blog called “Living Up To Expectations.” The author begins discussing a radio show he heard recently of a man named Daniel Kish who was blind since he was a toddler. As an adult, he rides bikes, hikes woods, walks through cities, using echolocation, as he clicks his tongue and listens to the sound bounce back to see if objects are nearby. The person interviewing him asserts that “blindness is a social construct. When we as a society have low expectations for what a blind person can accomplish, we limit what they can accomplish." He notes that when the people around a child have limited expectations for him/her, they “limit the possibilities for that child.”
More important than the skills that our teachers here at Yavneh teach in the classroom , is the message they relay to our children that they believe in them. For that, we are grateful. I can recount story after story of a child who struggled at the start of the year and gave up easily. However, with the teacher relaying his/her belief in the child, by the end of the year the child transformed to an eager student who does not give up. It can be what we say, or even a subtle as an intonation, as Rabbi Frand notes. As parents we too have the power to help our children live up to our expectations and let them know that the possibilities are endless for what they can accomplish.
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade: Students reflected on all they learned this year and wrote a Success Guide for incoming sixth graders containing their tips for how to succeed in middle school. This coming week they will be doing lessons on peer pressure and summer, summer safety and gratitude for teachers (described above).
Seventh Grade: With no Advisory this past week, this coming week our 7th graders will be having our Gratitude for Teachers lesson (described above), and will be creating time capsule to celebrate and remember all they have accomplished this year.
Eighth Grade: As our 8th grade parents read we completed our “Senior Seminar” including lessons on mental health, CCSA substance abuse workshop, gratitude to teachers , leaving their mark on Yavneh- contemplating what they have accomplished and decorating a memory rock for the Yavneh garden, creating tributes to their classmates, and alumni who have just graduated high school answering questions about high school in our Senior Scoop program.
