Instagram- Facebook for Tweens? Keeping Our Teens Safe

One month ago, just miles away, in Ridgewood, New Jersey, a sexting scandal made the news. School officials had heard that nude pictures of two girls were circulating amongst the students. The girls had used an app called Snapchat to send pictures to two boys. This app is meant to delete images moments after they are received. The boys, however, quickly captured these pictures and posted them on Instagram. The photos are now there for eternity. Middle and high school students were then given a deadline. Whoever had these photos on their devices had until Monday to delete them or face criminal charges. (This was the case in a similar situation in Clifton where a girl was charged with distribution of child pornography for posting images of herself. Such a charge could mean 17 years in prison and registration as a sex offender). Parents could face legal consequences as well if images were found on home computers beyond the deadline.

Instagram should be familiar to most parents. In fact, many of our sixth graders have Instagram accounts, despite Instagram stating it is for 13 years of age and older. (It is easy for someone younger to create a profile). Instagram is an app that can be downloaded to take pictures, add special effects and then share the on different social media sites. Instagram is like “Facebook for tweens.”

What are some of the dangers of Instagram? The picture is out there for all to see – even predators. Profiles are public by default. The must be set to private. If our children have accounts we need to make sure they are set to private.

Children can also come across inappropriate pictures- nudity etc. Instagram relies on its users to report posts of sexual nature, and does not monitor the pictures that are circulated. And, even if a perpetrator is caught and his account is blocked, he can easily a new username and continue posting inappropriate photos.

There is an option that allows people to share exactly where the photo was taken- geotag. It must be disabled. In fact, there is a PhotoMap option where if photos are tagged with a location, the viewer can find the location on a map. It is therefore imperative that the photos are private, as only approved viewers can see that map.

Then, of course, there is “cyberbullying.” In one Middle School, a student was posting pictures with the text “I only post your photo if you are ugly.” Viewers of photos can leave comments. One can imagine some of the comments left by those intending on bullying others. Cyberbullying is seen by hundreds of people instantaneously. Perpetrators can bully another without having to look the victim in the face.

Unfortunately, as with all texting and internet use, there is the possibility of children utilizing these technologies on Shabbat and holidays. We hope that none of our children are involved in this Chilul Shabbat, but we need to be ever vigilant as parents.

As parents, we need to be “in the know” and stay vigilant. I know it's uncomfortable for those of us who are digital immigrants to monitor all that our children are doing. We need to try. As with all technology, we have rules for technology use, incorporate security software, (there are programs out there for Instagram monitoring), we monitor them closely and keep lines of communication open. We also need to be aware of the apps our children are downloading.

We remind our children that everything they post on-line is permanent. When we tell them to only post appropriate pictures, an appropriate picture is one you would feel comfortable being shown to your entire school with your teachers in the room.

What should they do if they come across an inappropriate picture or text- on Instagram or on-line? They should not delete it and should quickly show it to you. First, there are ways to block and report a user. There may be a need to contact authorities and the evidence is essential. Most students who delete inappropriate photos or language do so because they are afraid their parents will be angry at them. It is essential that we make it clear to our teens that no matter what, we will always protect them.

This past week in 6^th Grade Advisory, we began a unit on cell phone safety, sexting and cyberbullying. The unit was designed with the input of sixth grade students. I owe much thanks to Chloe Schreiber and Eliana Fried for co-designing the lessons with me! Chloe and Eliana shared with me some of the issues being faced by their peers, and guided me in what aspects we needed to cover. We then trained sixth grade student to co-lead the lessons with their Advisors. We asked the students to think seriously about many of the issues I mentioned above. We shared practical tips on how to face the challenges that come along with having access to technology. (Not all issues regarding technology have to do with issues above. For example, we will discuss how technology may distract them from their homework and may cause grades to suffer). We had them think about some of the rules you have set for them regarding technology use and to consider if and why they are important to their safety. The lessons will end with a technology use pledge which their peers will have them sign regarding safety rules we have discussed. We find that since many of our students are first getting cell phones in sixth grade, they often get overwhelmed by the excitement of having a device, and do not use them wisely.

As our 8^th graders get close to graduation, (they know how many days are left!), we are spending time in Advisory on lessons that relate to challenges they will face in high school. This past Thursday, some graduates of ours from Frisch came to run discussion groups with them about those challenges. No matter what high school a child has chosen issues like peer pressure, time management, workload, parties, friendships etc. are all more intense in high school. The high school leaders spoke about how they dealt with the pressures and gave our students the opportunity to ask questions. It was wonderful to see our graduates return to Yavneh. They make us proud!

As I followed the investigation to catch the Boston bombers, it struck me how the use of technology made the investigation possible. Hundreds of people were videoing the moment of the bombing from their phones, providing important leads to investigators. When I was in Middle School, we didn't even have cordless phones! Today's teens are faced with a world of opportunities and challenges we could never have imagined when I was their age. Armed with the messages relayed at home and at school, we hope our children are prepared for all that is out there.

Parenting Pointers- Do Not Stand Idly By

The weeks after Pesach are traditionally full of days of commemoration. Our middle schoolers are of an age when days like Yom HaShoah, Yom HaZikaron and Yom Haatzmaut can begin to be understood. They have entered, according to Piaget, the developmental stage of Formal Operations where they can begin to abstract, hypothesize, and ponder concepts such as evil and justice. They are beginning to enter Kohlberg's Conventional stage of moral development where they are moving beyond “what's in it for me” and and learning to look out into the society around them to make moral decisions.

On February 1, we commemorated the tragedy of the Shuttle Columbia carrying the first Israeli astronaut Ilan Ramon. At the time, a PBS documentary called “Space Shuttle Columbia- Mission of Hope” aired and focused on the life of Ilan Ramon and the shuttle. After I saw this film, I ordered it thinking that it would be perfect to show to our students in Advisory near Yom HaShoah. Why? What does Ilan Ramon have to do with Yom HaShoah?

Ilan Ramon was the son of a Holocaust survivor. His mother was a survivor of Auschwitz. The film shows Ilan displaying items he has chosen to take with him up into space. He takes with him a picture drawn in Theresinstadt called “Moon Landscape” by a 14 year old boy named Peter Ginz who perished there. He also brought a mezuzah. But, the focus of the film is the miniature Torah he brought with him given to him by Joachim “Yoya” Joseph- also a survivor . “Yoya” was the head scientist of the project that was selected to be sent into space.

Upon visiting Yoya months before the trip, Ilan noticed a miniature Aron Kodesh and asked what it was. Yoya shared that in Bergen Belsen, separated from his parents, Rabbi Shmuel Dasberg approached him and told him he was going to make him a Bar Mitzvah. He taught him to layn and brought out the mini Torah at the “service.” Rabbi Dasberg was doubtful that he would make it out so he told Yoya to keep the Torah and to promise him that he “will tell the story” of this Bar Mitzvah and what they went through. Ilan was touched by the story and asked to take the Torah on the shuttle. Yoya agreed. From the shuttle, holding the Torah in his hands, Ilan stated, "This Torah scroll was given by a rabbi to a young, scared, thin, thirteen year old boy in Bergen Belsen. It represents more than anything the ability of the Jewish people to survive. It represents their ability to go from black days, from periods of darkness, to reach periods of hope and faith in the future." The Torah did not survive the explosion of the space shuttle. Yoya, however, stated, “ I have finally fulfilled my promise to the rabbi- more than I thought was possible.” (We did speak to the students about relating to the contrast between their Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations today and his. It spoke volumes to them about the true meaning of become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah).

The film ended that Ilan did indeed fulfill his last mission. His mission, according to the film, was to show the continuation of life, that there can be hope and the Jewish people can survive. My own grandparents, Holocaust survivors, could never have imagined a Jew representing a Jewish state in space. We then challenged our own students to consider, “What is your mission in the year 2013 after the Holocaust?” We thereby empowered them to think about making an impact as Jews.

Our 7^th graders have been learning about the impact that they can make in the world as well in the past weeks. This past Friday Congressman Scott Garrett visited Yavneh Academy and met with our 7^th grade students. Congressman Garrett addressed them and they then made a powerful presentation. They presented him with a piece of art- a rose crafted by an Israeli artist Yaron Bob. Mr. Bob sculpts roses and other art from actual Kassam rockets that landed in Israel, “symbolizing the perseverance of the people of Israel. They have thereby transformed objects of war into expressions of peace.” Proceeds of this project go to build more bombshelters in Israel to protect its citizens. Watch this two powerful, short videos which depict their project and their mission

:http://www.rocketsintoroses.com/slideshow.html,http://www.rocketsintoroses.com/videos/cbn_video.html.

 

They had been spending the past month focused on the Advisory unit "Do Not Stand Idly By" where they focused on their obligation to not be bystanders, but rather "upstanders," when they see injustice. This skill relates to interactions in their school, (i.e bullying), community and the world at large. We focused on the power of political action and the impact that even they as teenagers could make. They had learned about the scud attacks from Gaza into Israel and this meeting with Congressman Garret was their way of being upstanders. They spent a ½ hour asking questions of Congressman Garrett regarding the attacks and various other questions such as gun control, healthcare, and Iran. Our 7^th graders were incredible as Congressman Garret engaged them in conversation, and they were able to reply respectfully with confidence. This visit with the congressman and the presentation of this beautiful rose to be displyed in his office, were ways that the students could practically implement that which they had learned in Advisory, and fulfill their mission. (Please note: You received a flyer and order form via e-mail about the Flowers for Shavuot fundraiser the 7^th graders are running to pay for the rose they presented to the congressman and to donate to the organization supporting victims of scud attacks).

Our students learned this week that it is not enough to mourn about the Holocaust. It is not enough to be saddened on Yom HaZikaron. It is not enough to celebrate on Yom Haatzmaut and revel in the miracle of Medinat Yisrael. We have the obligation and the mission to not "stand idly by" and play a role in the future of the Jewish people.