Instagram- Facebook for Tweens? Keeping Our Teens Safe

One month ago, just miles away, in Ridgewood, New Jersey, a sexting scandal made the news. School officials had heard that nude pictures of two girls were circulating amongst the students. The girls had used an app called Snapchat to send pictures to two boys. This app is meant to delete images moments after they are received. The boys, however, quickly captured these pictures and posted them on Instagram. The photos are now there for eternity. Middle and high school students were then given a deadline. Whoever had these photos on their devices had until Monday to delete them or face criminal charges. (This was the case in a similar situation in Clifton where a girl was charged with distribution of child pornography for posting images of herself. Such a charge could mean 17 years in prison and registration as a sex offender). Parents could face legal consequences as well if images were found on home computers beyond the deadline.

Instagram should be familiar to most parents. In fact, many of our sixth graders have Instagram accounts, despite Instagram stating it is for 13 years of age and older. (It is easy for someone younger to create a profile). Instagram is an app that can be downloaded to take pictures, add special effects and then share the on different social media sites. Instagram is like “Facebook for tweens.”

What are some of the dangers of Instagram? The picture is out there for all to see – even predators. Profiles are public by default. The must be set to private. If our children have accounts we need to make sure they are set to private.

Children can also come across inappropriate pictures- nudity etc. Instagram relies on its users to report posts of sexual nature, and does not monitor the pictures that are circulated. And, even if a perpetrator is caught and his account is blocked, he can easily a new username and continue posting inappropriate photos.

There is an option that allows people to share exactly where the photo was taken- geotag. It must be disabled. In fact, there is a PhotoMap option where if photos are tagged with a location, the viewer can find the location on a map. It is therefore imperative that the photos are private, as only approved viewers can see that map.

Then, of course, there is “cyberbullying.” In one Middle School, a student was posting pictures with the text “I only post your photo if you are ugly.” Viewers of photos can leave comments. One can imagine some of the comments left by those intending on bullying others. Cyberbullying is seen by hundreds of people instantaneously. Perpetrators can bully another without having to look the victim in the face.

Unfortunately, as with all texting and internet use, there is the possibility of children utilizing these technologies on Shabbat and holidays. We hope that none of our children are involved in this Chilul Shabbat, but we need to be ever vigilant as parents.

As parents, we need to be “in the know” and stay vigilant. I know it's uncomfortable for those of us who are digital immigrants to monitor all that our children are doing. We need to try. As with all technology, we have rules for technology use, incorporate security software, (there are programs out there for Instagram monitoring), we monitor them closely and keep lines of communication open. We also need to be aware of the apps our children are downloading.

We remind our children that everything they post on-line is permanent. When we tell them to only post appropriate pictures, an appropriate picture is one you would feel comfortable being shown to your entire school with your teachers in the room.

What should they do if they come across an inappropriate picture or text- on Instagram or on-line? They should not delete it and should quickly show it to you. First, there are ways to block and report a user. There may be a need to contact authorities and the evidence is essential. Most students who delete inappropriate photos or language do so because they are afraid their parents will be angry at them. It is essential that we make it clear to our teens that no matter what, we will always protect them.

This past week in 6^th Grade Advisory, we began a unit on cell phone safety, sexting and cyberbullying. The unit was designed with the input of sixth grade students. I owe much thanks to Chloe Schreiber and Eliana Fried for co-designing the lessons with me! Chloe and Eliana shared with me some of the issues being faced by their peers, and guided me in what aspects we needed to cover. We then trained sixth grade student to co-lead the lessons with their Advisors. We asked the students to think seriously about many of the issues I mentioned above. We shared practical tips on how to face the challenges that come along with having access to technology. (Not all issues regarding technology have to do with issues above. For example, we will discuss how technology may distract them from their homework and may cause grades to suffer). We had them think about some of the rules you have set for them regarding technology use and to consider if and why they are important to their safety. The lessons will end with a technology use pledge which their peers will have them sign regarding safety rules we have discussed. We find that since many of our students are first getting cell phones in sixth grade, they often get overwhelmed by the excitement of having a device, and do not use them wisely.

As our 8^th graders get close to graduation, (they know how many days are left!), we are spending time in Advisory on lessons that relate to challenges they will face in high school. This past Thursday, some graduates of ours from Frisch came to run discussion groups with them about those challenges. No matter what high school a child has chosen issues like peer pressure, time management, workload, parties, friendships etc. are all more intense in high school. The high school leaders spoke about how they dealt with the pressures and gave our students the opportunity to ask questions. It was wonderful to see our graduates return to Yavneh. They make us proud!

As I followed the investigation to catch the Boston bombers, it struck me how the use of technology made the investigation possible. Hundreds of people were videoing the moment of the bombing from their phones, providing important leads to investigators. When I was in Middle School, we didn't even have cordless phones! Today's teens are faced with a world of opportunities and challenges we could never have imagined when I was their age. Armed with the messages relayed at home and at school, we hope our children are prepared for all that is out there.