The Key To A Magical Mother's Day And A Chodesh Tov...All Year

Happy Mother’s Day.  Chodesh Tov.  Rosh Chodesh and Mother’s Day fall out on the same day this year.   The moment I noticed that the two did coincide this year I knew that it was not by chance. After all, we know that Rosh Chodesh is a holiday for women.  It is a day that reminds us each month how much women are appreciated.  Why? When Aharon was trying to delay the building of the Gold Calf he requested they collect their jewelry and gold, as it says, “’And Aaron said: Take the earrings from your wives, sons and daughters, and bring them to me’ (Exodus 32:2). The women heard and refused to give their jewelry to their husbands, but said: ‘You want to make a calf with no power to save? We will not listen to you.’ God gave them reward in this world that they keep Rosh Chodesh more than men, and in the next world they merit to renew themselves like Rosh Chodesh.”  (Pirkei d'Rabbi Eliezer, 45) There are women who actually abstain from certain types of work (no sewing, heavy house cleaning). (Hey, I’m game for any holiday on which I don’t clean!).   

Rosh Chodesh, we know, is determined by sanctifying the moon.  There is a special connection between women and the moon.  Dina Coopersmith, in her article “ Rosh Chodesh|,” explains that Rosh Chodesh has a human element as you need two witnesses to testify the the Jerusalem high court that the moon was seen.  “The determination of this calendar is placed squarely in human hands.  Thus if the moon were to appear, in fact, on a Monday, but no on actually saw it until Tuesday, ‘seeing is believing’ and the court would decide that the first of the month was on a Tuesday.  As a result, G-d, as it were, follows the decision of the court and acts accordingly, so in the case of Rosh Hashana, He would push off His judgment of the entire world by one day!”  What message is G-d giving the Jews, as He gives them their first mitzvah of Rosh Chodesh?  Up until then the Jews were slaves and time was not their own. Now, they are becoming masters of their time and taking control. The moon reminds us that we can be in control of our time.  Who better to relay that message than a mother?  She somehow can multi-task better in a short amount of time, as brain research has clearly indicated.  She is a master over time.

The moon also causes me to consider what we mothers do with our time.  Is there anything more magical than the moon?  The moon looks as if it has disappeared, and then the next day it comes back! As parents of small children we read Good Night Moon, or sang “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.”  In those days, they didn’t need any special effects or cool videos. Just looking at the moon and the night sky was magical enough.  What message can the moon relay to us mothers on Mother’s Day Rosh Chodesh?

Bummi Laditan, in a Huffington Post  article “I’m Done Making My Kid’s Childhood Magical” makes us nostalgic for those good old days when looking at the moon was magical enough. She reminisces about her own childhood and compares it to the way we “mother” today.  (Thank you for Dr. Feit for forwarding the blog!)

“If our grandmothers and great-grandmothers could see the pressure modern mothers put on themselves, they’d think we were insane.  Since when does being a good mom mean you spend your days creating elaborate crafts for your children, making sure their rooms are decked-out Pottery Barn Ikea masterpieces worthy of children’s magazines, and dressing them to the nines in trendy coordinated outfits.  I don’t believe for a moment that mothers today love their kids any more than our great-grandmothers loved theirs. We just feel compelled to prove it through ridiculously expensive themed birthday parties that have do-it-yourself cupcake stations with 18 types of toppings and over-the-top gifts.

For a few years, I got caught up in the ‘Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better’ parenting model, which mandates you scour Pinterest for the best ideas, execute them flawlessly and then share the photo evidence with strangers and friends via blogs and Facebook posts.

Suddenly, it came to me: We do not need to make our children’s childhood magical.  Childhood is inherently magical, even when it isn’t perfect.”

            Laditan recounts her own childhood.  They played.  Parents were not responsible for entertaining them.  They just had fun. Today’s parents ask “What do you need my precious darling?  How can I make your childhood more amazing?”  We do not need to make their lives magical.  “Seeing the world through innocent eyes is magical.  Experiencing winter and playing in the snow is magical…”  Today, we put so much pressure on ourselves to create magical experiences.  We want our children to learn that the magic of life is not something that comes beautifully wrapped, but it is something you discover on your own.

            That is something to consider on Mother’s Day.  As a mother, Rosh Chodesh is a time each month that asserts that I need not wait until Mother’s Day to remind myself how appreciated I am. As a mother, the moon reminds us that we can control what we do with our time, and spend it not making magic for our children or competing with other mothers, but rather helping them create their own magic.  The pressure is off. 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade: Sixth graders began a unit on Social Exclusion, Harassment and Bullying. They spent some time identifying what those terms are.

Seventh Grade: Students spent time discussing political action and how they can get involved as teens standing up to injustice through contacting politicians.

Eight Grade:  Students began a unit based on the move The Wave which depicts a high school classroom experiment regarding peer pressure based on how the Nazi movement became so popular.