Chag Sameach- Happiness Lessons

 

      Israel has done it again! It has outranked even the United States and is the 12th happiest country in the U.N.’s annual World Happiness Report. (The United States was the 19th). The World Happiness Report is a survey of 149 countries regarding the state of their happiness measuring income, health, generosity, social support, trust and freedom of choice.  In fact, Israel’s Central Bureau of Statistics states that over 90% of Israelis say they are happy.  Despite the death of more than 6000 Israelis,  three lockdowns, thousands losing their jobs during this Covid time period, and the fourth national election in two years, Israelis still seem to be happy. 

What can we learn from these happiness studies to raise our own and our children’s HQ- happiness quotients?  Some of what affects our HQ is beyond our control- genetics, temperament and of course life circumstances, such as a pandemic. But, much of what determines our HQ is our choices regarding our attitude and actions. 

Taking a moment to analyze more of the study’s results may provide us with some tips to achieve happiness. 

1. In general, there does not seem to be a link between covid and happiness measured this year.  Japan has had many fewer cases of covid than the United  States, but was ranked 40.  And, interestingly enough, last year, before the pandemic, the U.S. rated 18 and this year they are ranked 14. Americans seem to actually be happier than they were before the pandemic. Jeffrey Sachs, one of the co-authors noted, “We asked two kinds of questions. One is about life in general, life evaluation, we call it. How is your life going? The other is about mood, emotions, stress, anxiety.  Of course, we’re still in the middle of a deep crisis. But the responses about long-term life evaluation did not change decisively, though the disruption in our lives was so profound.”   There seems to be a sense of resiliency and even solidarity and social connectedness  that has developed during this time. As we intuit, social connectedness and raising our children with skills of resiliency are key areas to increase happiness.  But, the important part is we cannot wait until crisis hits to teach those resiliency skills. We need to reinforce them at all times so they are ready. 

And, social connectedness, we know, is essential at all times.  (See Israel below).

2. Why did the United States rate as low as they did?  

Co-author Sonja Lyubormirsky, suggests that “American culture prizes signs of wealth such as big houses and multiple cars more so than other countries and material things don’t make us as happy.”  This relates to Dr. Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and psychologist words, “Happiness without meaning characterizes a relatively shallow, self-absorbed or even selfish life, in which things go well, needs and desire are easily satisfied, and difficult or taxing entanglements are avoided.” Happiness, which only involves oneself and has no meaning, will not last. Helping others and living meaningful lives is a way to achieve happiness. 

3. It was the fourth year in a row that Finland came out first. What makes Finland the happiest country?  Esa Saarinne, a Finnish philosopher, feels, “I think Finns are pretty kind of content on some level at being just what we are. We don’t really have to be more.”   Crete Karvala, notes that “This isn’t to say that we Finns walk the earth in a constant state of euphoria- far from it.  Instead, our national character is to be even-keeled and content with what we have.” 

As it says in Avot 4:1:

. אֵיזֶהוּ עָשִׁיר, הַשָּׂמֵחַ בְּחֶלְקוֹ

Who is rich? He who rejoices in his lot

The ability to be content with one’s lot in life is one key to happiness. 

4. How do Israelis, living in a constant state of potential war, intifada, rockets etc. achieve happiness?  

1. Professor Zahava Solomon of Tel Aviv University highlights this psychological paradox.  This “culture of conflict” which makes Israelis constantly aware of the dangers they face makes them fearless and willing to take on risks that lead to self-growth.  If each day might be your last, you would enjoy that day. This leads to a more fulfilling life.  We need to demonstrate to and teach our children that each day can be life- changing, so don’t waste a moment. 

2. Israelis have much to fear, so they fear nothing, points out Tifanie Wen in her article, “Why Are Israelis So Happy?”  She quotes a study from the Journal of the American Medical Association which demonstrates that Israelis recover from PTSD faster than other Western nations. Israelis have continuously shown to be able to habituate to new conflicts. The level of anxiety may be higher in Israel, but the level of clinical anxiety is very low.  “By experiencing more anxiety on a daily basis, they’ve become inoculated against bad things when they do occur and habituate to them rapidly. They are able to function in spite of them.”  If one can be resilient in the face of potential war, then economic and social issues are easy to deal with by comparison.  It is okay and important to express stress, and it helps us develop resilience. Thus, the importance of allowing our children to fail, brush themselves off and get up again. 

Interestingly enough, when it comes to resilience during covid one specific population fared well in studies of happiness.  Dr. Laura Carstensen, of Stanford University, recently did a study on happiness and older adults.  Despite expectations,  older people actually “report better emotional well-being than younger people, even a pandemic that is placing them at a greater risk than any other group,” writes Melissa De Witte in her article, “Despite Covid-19 Risks, Older People Experience Higher Emotional Well-being Than Younger Adults.”   The older adults seem to feel more calm and  have less anxiety than younger adults. They are more resilient and seem to know how to handle stress better. What is the reason for their advantages? They have had more experience with stressful and negative situations and therefore have learned how to cope. They are also more motivated to focus on the positives in their lives and not stress the negative. They are focusing more on that which gives them joy, happiness and meaning.  Instead of focusing on the possible negatives in the future, they focus on getting through the here and now.  Like Israel, they have had anxiety and survived and therefore are happier. 

3. Israeli psychologist Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar,  (whose work I have mentioned before in this column), author of the books Happier  and Being Happy, and former professor of a popular course in Harvard, “The Science Of Happiness,” returned to Israel after being abroad for 15 years. He found himself happier when he returned.  Ben-Shahar believes it is the Israeli’s focus on family and friends which is one cause of the happiness that Israelis feel.  Time spent with those we care about is the number one predictor of happiness.  Creating those close ties with family is essential for growth- more family time! 

4. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to think that something about this happiness has to do with G-d.  Geulio Meotti, in her article, “Why Are Israelis So Happy” notes, “While Israel’s social fabric is deeply divided between ultra-Orthodox Jews and ‘Hellenistic’ Israelis, nationalists and leftists, two-thirds of Israelis believe in God, therefore maintaining the hope and feeling that there is higher meaning and purpose to their lives. There is also the attachment to the Jewish land, while love for one’s land is a nationalistic taboo in the West.” Raising our children with Emunah and recognizing that G-d will always take care of them, is one route to happiness. 

Here, in America, we try to relay to our students and children that intense connection to the land, the people and to G-d that one feels in Eretz Yisrael. 

  אֶ֕רֶץ אֲשֶׁר־ה’ אֱלֹקיךָ דֹּרֵ֣שׁ אֹתָ֑הּ תָּמִ֗יד עֵינֵ֨י ה’ אֱלֹקיךָ֙ בָּ֔הּ מֵֽרֵשִׁית֙ הַשָּׁנָ֔ה וְעַ֖ד אַֽחֲרִ֥ית שָׁנָֽה

“It is a Land that the Lord your God seeks out; the eyes of the Lord your God, are always upon it, from the beginning of the year to the end of the year.” (Devarim, 11:12)  It is a country of miracles. A country of resilience, meaning and mission.  A country of family.   It is one of the happiest countries on earth! Yom Haatzmaut Sameach! 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade:  Students began a unit on Friendship and what makes a good friend? 

Seventh Grade; Students continued with their discussion of how the BDS movement affects Israel. 

Eighth Grade:  Students began their substance abuse unit with a discussion of what are substances and how they affect their physiology.