Instead Of Screen Time

  This past week I joined a Yavneh workshop led by Mrs. Ora Bayowitz- Meier called “Film Time, Not Screen Time: Engaged Family Viewing.”  There we discussed how watching movies, or “shorts” with our families, and stopping the movies periodically and discussing life lessons that can be gleaned from the movies with our children is a wonderful way to bond with our children.  I mentioned how for years now I have been using movie clips (probably stemming from my days as a “programmer” for NCSY) as triggers for discussions in Advisory. Years ago, I had to splice out segments from a VHS tape. Now, luckily, much of that can be found on youtube!

In addition to the family bonding and the lessons we can convey to our children, more important is that these family bonding movies are taking our children away from their devices and staring at their individual screens.  Thanks to our parent-led endeavors we are hopefully pushing off getting our children phones and the use of social media, but alas, just this week I had two incidents of upset students based on chats on whatsapp with fellow classmates. (One of which was on a grade chat. Don’t start me on those!! Nothing good comes out of those chats!). 

I read a research study that just came out this week from researchers in the University of California reported in The Week in an article titled “Social media makes kids dumber”.  They reported that “preteens who spend more time on social media show poorer reading, vocabulary, and memory skills by early adolescence than those who use it little or not at all…The authors note that adolescence is a critical period for brain development, when the brain’s architecture is fine- tuned by experiences. Their findings, they say, highlight the need for policies to limit kids’ exposure to screens.”  While we already know the impact of technology on teen mental health, as noted last week, it also impacts their cognitive abilities. 

In recent discussions with Mr. Jason David, our Director of Technology, in getting our Student Technology Advisory Committee started this year (composed of 7th and 8th graders), he noted that students need more activities to replace screen time. Those movie nights are one such activity. But, we need to find more for our children to engage in other than staring at their devices. Friendship Circle, Motzai Shabbat learning programs, sports, art lessons, the Chesed Team- all good examples.  We, as parents, need to unite to help plan activities for our children to engage in instead of screen time. 

In my conversation with one of the young ladies about what happened on the whatsapp chat that upset her, I said in frustration “Why in the world are you having this discussion on a chat?! Why not in person?!”  She replied that she would never have been able to say what she said on the chat in person. (Which she viewed as defending herself).  “Yes! That’s the point”, I said to her!  We often say things we would never dare say in person- because it’s hurtful, on a chat. And, then what we said is there forever and can be screenshot.

 As it says on Common Sense Media (a great resource we use in school)

Tell your kids to think before they post. Remind them that everything they post can be seen by a vast, invisible audience (otherwise known as friends of friends of friends). With middle schoolers, it's a good idea for parents and caregivers to have access to what their kids are doing online. That way, you can be sure that what they're posting is appropriate, and help your kids avoid doing something they'll regret later.

I know it’s obvious and we have all heard it before- but two instances this week!  (And, those are the ones I knew about). 

When I was growing up we used to listen a Jewish singing group called Safam. I heard a song of theirs on Friday, connected to this past Shabbat’s parasha, called “A Song For Lot.” It talks  about how when Sedom and Amorah were destroyed, Lot and his family were not supposed to look back. Of course, Lot’s wife did not listen and turned into a pillar of salt. The song shares a metaphor:”... Ahead is a bright tomorrow,  Behind you a life of sin, Don’t ever look back once you begin.  Don’t let your mind slip away to olden times. Just look ahead…”  In life, we often make mistakes, and once we recognize the error of our ways and repent we should not dwell on the past. We should start afresh. 

However, when you think about it, when it comes to social media- there is no way to escape our past. Once we post it’s there forever.  And, the cognitive impact on our children of too much social media use is not retractable. 

So, let’s have a family movie night, where we talk to each other about what we are watching.  Let’s go out and buy our children more board games and help them take up some hobbies instead of device time! 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade: Students spoke about what stands in the way of their managing their time, the “glitches.”

Seventh Grade:  Students debriefed their Frost Valley experience considering what they gained, and began a new unit called Operation Respect on empathy through preparing for a visit to the homeless shelter in Hackensack. 

Eighth Grade: Students considered what they are good at and filled out a “Self-evaluation” sheet of activities they are involved in which administrators will use in filling out their recommendations for high school.