Pesach and Helping Our Children Reach Their "Potentials"

The hero of the Pesach story is clearly Moshe. Interestingly enough, the beginning of Moshe's life is surrounded by anonymity. In describing the marriage of Moshe's parents, the Torah does not record their names. Rather, it says, "A man from the house of Levi went and took a daughter of Levi" (Shemot, 2:1).  Why doesn't the Torah identify who these two people are?  Perhaps the Torah specifically did not want to mention Moshe's lineage in order to show that in Judaism one does not have to come from a special lineage to be a leader. Rav Zalman Sorotzkin in his Oznayim Le Torah similarly says that every Jewish child that is born has the possibility of becoming a leader of his people. Every child has “potential.”

When are Amram and Yocheved identified as being the parents of Moshe? Only once he was an adult and he accomplished great feats. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein explained that when parents have a talented and/or gifted child they often assume that he will excel due to his inborn “potential.” As parents, we know that that is not true. A child could use his G-d given talents for the wrong. We need to raise a child to go on the correct path. Even Moshe, who we know according to the Gemara in Sotah 12a, was at birth worthy of prophesy, born circumcised and when he was born the room filled with light- even Moshe's future was not guaranteed.

This message is reflected in the Haggadah with the Four Sons. All children are born with “potential,” and depending on how they are raised in combination with their temperaments, they choose different paths. Metaphorically, Chametz and Matzah are the same ingredients. One is allowed to rise, and one does not. In potential, they are the same. It is the path that is chosen for them that makes all the difference.

The message for us and our children is that of positive self-esteem. We are all born with the ability to achieve. We can all be Moshe. Everyone has the ability.

However, some teens may find this dishonest. They know it is our job as parents to tell them they can do anything. (Yeah, Mom. You have to say I'm smart! You're my mom!) But, the reality is that there as some things they cannot do, (i.e. the chances of a petite woman as myself being a championship basketball player are slim!). The answer is in another piece of literature that involves Moshe Rabbeinu. I can still recall being told the story of Reb Zusha as a seventh grader. It made such an impact. The chasidic tale tells of Reb Zusha. “He was known for the simplicity of his lifestyle and his inspiring humility. He once told his disciples, 'When I die and face my judgment I do not fear the angels will ask me whey I was not as spiritual as Moshe. I will simply tell them Moshe was a soul so much greater than my own. Nor do I fear they will ask me why I was not as kind as Avraham. If they do, I will tell them that Avraham was unique in his capacity to do chesed. How can you expect so much of me? Nor do I fear they will ask me why I did not compose songs to G-d as David. If they do, I will say, ' How can you compare me to the 'sweet singer of Israel''? But, what I do fear if that they will ask me, “Zusha, why were you not Zusha?” and for this I will have no answer.”

All that Hashem asks of us is that we utilize the gifts, talents and life circumstances He has given us to do our best in being the best we can be. This is another encouraging message to relay to our children when faced with struggle. Did you try your best? It is also an important value to share. Never settle for mediocrity. When you work on a project, or attempt any sort of endeavor, are you just “trying to get by”? Most importantly, when it comes to being a better Jew- are you just trying to get by or are you trying the best you can?

You may know that when our students in the Middle School celebrate their Bar/Bat Mitzvahs in school I meet with them and ask them to identify a Mitzvah or Midda they would like to improve now that they are accepting the yoke of Mitzvot upon themselves. We want our students to think seriously about the fact that in Judaism we constantly work at achieving our “potentials” and at becoming the “Me” we were meant to be.