Reading Aloud To Your... Teen?

 My daughter came home from school stating emphatically that her teacher read them a book and she must get the next one in the series. The book was All Of A Kind Family by Sidney Taylor. My daughter is in 2^nd grade, and this book is definitely not the typical kind of book she loves about fairies, princesses or characters that love pink. I myself never read the series as a child, but I know my mother did. First published in 1951, the book is about a Jewish family living in the Lower East Side. It is a story that was probably lived by many of our ancestors. Not particularly jazzy or exciting, but something about it caught my daughter's interest. It was clear that her teacher's reading it aloud was all it took to get her hooked.

The books are out of print, so we could not purchase them at Barnes or Noble or on Amazon. We searched the libraries, and finally had one sent to ours. And, oh, the excitement each night before we read. I am just as excited. This book which speaks of simpler times- before technology, and of a simple family who did not have much, was something of which to look forward. And, it was that simple time I spend reading with her- simple, but special.

Soon, my “tween” son came in and asked if he can listen too. He too wants some reading aloud time. It made me think about how valuable time like this would be with our middle school children as well.

Experts do maintain that we should be reading aloud to our teenagers as well. Bedtimes stories are particularly a ritual that we can continue into the teenage years. (Although, I don't know about you, but I most definitely want to go to sleep earlier than my teen is ready to do so himself!) We tend to stop these rituals as soon as children can read independently. There are number of reasons why we shouldn't stop. And, believe it or not, even the most tech savvy, independent teen will appreciate it. Many parents and teens will take turns and alternate reading between parent and child. Here are some ideas of the impact of reading books aloud to each other:

1. Reading out loud is a great advertisement for reading enjoyment. When they see how much we enjoy reading the book aloud, we have the opportunity to expose them to pure love of reading and often of a genre or book they would never consider themselves. I admire the many parents who read the book assigned for school along with their children, but this reading time is to be a book they don't have to read.
   Jim Trelease, in the article, “The Hidden Benefits of Reading Aloud- Even For Older Kids” states, “Yes, because if you stop advertising, you stop selling. Kids have to read for school but that's not an advertisement for reading. Most of the material kids read in school, no one would read for pleasure. And if all your reading is tied to work, you develop a sweat mentality to reading, so by time you graduate you can't wait to stop reading. You become a school-time reader, not a life-time reader. Of course, kids have to do a certain amount of reading that's tied to work, but you don't want kids to forget that there are books out there to make you laugh, make you cry, and move the soul.” (Although, I would like to add, that much effort is made at Yavneh to choose books that are interesting for the students to read. More and more students share with me that they enjoy the books the y “have to” read).
2. The physical closeness between the reader and listener is comforting. Teens don't typically “snuggle” with their parents, and this is a time to at least be sitting next to them in close proximity.
3. “Children listen on a different level than they read.” One can listen to a more complicated plot or a book utilizing more sophisticated language than one might read on one's own. This is an effective way to build vocabulary.
4. Reading aloud is a great way to relay and discuss morals and life lessons. Discussions about feelings and beliefs can all stem from discussing the characters and their dilemmas, without sounding like a lecture.
5. Time spent together without checking your phone or multitasking.
6. Allowing your child to pick the book out with you honors the individuality in each of your children.
7. It is an opportunity to practice empathy and perspective taking. “What do you think he was thinking?” “Why did he do that?”
8. It's a great chance for you to read some books you missed as a child.
9. Reading aloud increases your teen's attention span in this “distractible” world in which we live.

There is value for the child him/herself when he/she reads aloud. For those of us who have entered the walls of a Beit Midrash we know the impact of reading the texts aloud to the other. The Gemara in Eruvin 54a states, “A person is happy in his learning when he says it aloud, in response to someone.” Saying the information aloud ensures that it is absorbed and retained. In fact, Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi highlights that it states “V'dibarta Bam” “And, you shall speak in them,” stressing the importance of reading aloud. Reading aloud also “pierces the heavens” and “brings joy to G-d” according to the Pele Yo'etz, Rabbi Eliezer Papo. The great Talmida Chachama Beruriah was “passing a student who was studying silently without verbalizing what he was learning. She rebuked him and said that his manner of study was incorrect because the verse states, 'Life comes to the one who comes upon them' which is meant to be understood as, 'life comes to the one who articulates its words with one’s mouth.'”

Then, we know the value of hearing someone else read in Judaism- a prime example being the weekly Keriat HaTorah. The Rambam in Hilchot Tefillah 12:1 appears to believe that hearing the Torah fulfills the requirement of learning. (Others may disagree). I can still recall my high school Navi teacher, Mrs. Marcy Stern, who before we ever learned a perek would simply read it dramatically aloud to the students. By the time we began learning the perek, I was already able to anticipate the themes, mood and climax of the perek. This reading aloud of the perek was a practice that I “stole” from Mrs. Stern when I myself taught Navi. To this day, I can still hear her voice reading that perek.

 Hallmark sells recordable books that enable a child to hear a special relative's voice reading to him/her. Wouldn't it be wonderful if our children could hear us each night without needing a recording? That voice will never leave their minds, even after they have left the teenage years and are off on their own.