Emojis And Emotions

The Oxford Dictionary word of the year for 2015 is not even a word.  It is the "Face With Tears Of Joy" emoji.   .

It was chosen as the "word that best reflected the ethos, mood, and preoccupations of 2015.”  

(Just as a quick background, the word emoji is from the Japanese which means e= picture moji= letter, character).  

How have emojis impacted the way we express our emotions?  

First, there is the general, intuitive and often spoken of impact of communication online versus face to face.  Technology use may lead us to communicate more with family and friends, but the quality of the communication is inferior.  Children who spend more time utilizing online communication have a harder time understanding emotions. In her article, “Face time vs. screen time: The technological impact on communication,” Chandra Johnson writes,  "These kids aren't connecting emotionally. Emails, texts- these lack the emotive qualities of face-to-face interactions... What's the balance? If all you're doing is using Facebook, you're not getting the interpersonal connection you need. Kids want to be hugged and touched, they don't want to be texted.  There's a basic need to fill that social bond."  

Dr. Jim Taylor asks whether a friendly emoji can replace those hugs? No.  Since communication is not just about words. Dr. Kate Roberts asserts, "Families text rather than having conversations" at the risk of underdeveloped verbal skills and emotional intelligence.  She shared that at Boston College they now have a course on how to ask a person out on a date!   For adults, communication via technology is a shortcut But, for children, it can  "rewrite a child's brain pathways in a very different way than how they would normally develop" affecting concentration, self- esteem, empathy - leading to personal relationships not being formed as deeply. 

Emojis were in part developed to supplement what is missing in a technology interchange when we can't read facial expressions.. Yet, we can't see "voice inflection, body language, facial expression, and the phermones released during face to face interaction."  

How does techonlogy affect parent- child communication? In some ways, kids are "hyper-connected." A friend of mine who works in a women's Yeshiva in Israel said that students are so "hyper- connected" to their parents that he'll receive a call wondering why the garbage wasn't taken out that day, as their daughter just called to "share."  We know that sleepaway camps, where cell phone use is not allowed, is very difficult for our hyper- connected teens.  Sometimes not being connected forces some independence and problem solving without parent involvement.

Alice Robb, in her July 2014 article, "How Using Emoji Makes Us Less Emotional"  states, "They allowed us to communicate without saying anything, saving us from spelling out any actual sentiments."  We've gotten to the point where there is a social network, (which may have come out already- that's how much I know!), where you only need to use emojis to communicate.  Two days after they announced the launch of this new social network, 50,000 people already reserved user names- consisting only of emojis.  Can you believe that a man named Fred Benenson is now selling Moby Dick translated into only emojis, online for $200?

On the other hand, since our teens are already using emojis- how can we use them for good?  A new emoji appeared in the iOS 9.1 iPhone update.  It is called the "witness emoji"- .

 It is part of an anti-bullying campaign of the Ad Council.  The designers of this campaign began speaking to numerous teens and pre-teens,  keeping in mind the impact that peers/bystanders have on each other when they react to bullying on social media.  Most teens they interviewed said they do or say nothing when they see bullying on social media.  They did say they would be more likely to do something if they saw others asserting themselves.  Then this new emoji was born.  

The message of this emoji is to say, "Hey, I see this, I recognize that it's not okay, and I want you to know you're not alone."  The "I Am A Witness" app can be downloaded via the App Store or Google Play  so that everyone can post the Witness emoji when they see hurtful comments on social media.  Let's encourage our teens to use this new emoji to protect the real emotions of others.

So, whether the research indicates that emojis are good for our emotional development, they are here. We need to continue having face to face conversations with our children, and encourage them to have face to face dialogue with their friends. (Thank G-d for Shabbos!) If you can't beat them, then join them. Emomji- is the adoption of emoji by mothers (and fathers) to keep up with their children.

“When we were kids, my mom would write us notes on the napkins in our lunchboxes and draw hearts and smiley faces,” says Tyler Schnoebelen, a linguist and the lead data analyst at Idibon. “Now, instead of being limited to doodles, moms can ornament their notes with symbolic nudges and emblems of affection: phones, foods, umbrellas — and you know, volcanoes.”

So, tomorrow, surprise your teen with an emoji... after you've had a face to face talk! 

ADVISORY UPDATE:
Sixth Grade- Engaged in a lesson on Bar/Bat Mitzvah manners and behavior. 
Seventh Grade- Focused on how difficult it is in America today to make a living- contributing to their empathy for the homeless.
Eighth Grade- Students discussed the often complicated parent-child dynamic that exists in the teen years.