Monday, March 14, 2016

Privacy Or Security For Our Teens?

Apple has been unrelenting and unwilling to allow the FBI to gain back access to the data from the iPhone used by one of the shooters in the San Benardino attacks in December.    An order signed by a magistrate judge has requested that Apple disable the feature that wipes out data on the phone after  10 incorrect tries to enter a password.  If  Apple would disable that feature, the FBI would thereby be able to find the password by attempting millions of password combinations.  Apple says that they cannot circumvent this feature.  The judge demands that Apple write software that can bypass the feature.  Apple is not willing as it would “spell digital disaster for the trustworthiness of everyone's computers and mobile phones.” It would violate privacy of the users.

            As parents of teens, we are constantly battling the issue of privacy in our own homes.  To how much privacy are teens entitled from their parents?  In our sixth grade Adolescent Life classes this week we discussed that one “job” of the adolescent is to separate and individuate.  Adolescence prepares them for adulthood, when they will (hopefully) living on their own and making their own decision. We know that it was programmed at creation, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother...” (Bereishit 2:24)- that at some point each person is meant to leave his/her parents and become independent.  (In our classes, we discussed how this often creates conflict with parents, as we do want to be independent, but we also still need them).  As children get older, privacy is an integral part of this separation.  On the other hand, we still have the responsibility to protect them.
           
            But, does privacy truly exist in this this social media, internet age in which we live? An article   written in a 2009 Harvard Magazine says it all, “Exposed- The Erosion Of Privacy In The Internet Era.”  Do I really need to know that you went to the supermarket or where you bought your favorite jeans?   And, teens- they share everything!  As Jon Henley writes in “Are Teenagers Really Careless About On-line Privacy?”,  they share their likes, dislikes, who they are with, and even photos of themselves doing things they shouldn’t be. A Pew Research study on 12-17 year olds points out that teens post the towns they live in, the schools they attend, their email addresses, their birthdays, and even some their cellphone numbers.  They simply demonstrate a “basic lack of awareness of the potential longer-term impact of information leaks…Many younger people just don’t think in terms of their future employability, of identity theft, of legal problems if they are being provocative. Not to mention straightforward reputational issues.”  In a New York Magazine article, Emily Nussbaum writes, “Kids today. They have no sense of shame.  They have no sense of privacy. They are show-offs…who post their diaries…”

            These behaviors are actually no different from what teens always have done.  “Teens are often involved in a process of identity formation that involves not just exploring different concepts of self, but presenting such identities to others.  That’s something they have always done- but today it’s done electronically.  Identity experimentation has bigger privacy consequences today than for past generations.”   Teens are actually less concerned about businesses or universities seeing their data. Rather, they are more concerned about their parents and their seeing their online use.  

            How does privacy relate to our children’s e-mails, social media accounts etc?  We need to strike a balance between their privacy and our needing to know what they are doing.  I do believe that it is important for parents to carefully monitor- not spy- on their children’s internet use.  What I mean is that you should actively tell them how you are monitoring them. Upfront, when they get their first iPod or phone you tell them what you are going to do to keep them safe.

 In our parent workshop on March 1, Dr. Eli Shapiro of the Digital Citizenship Project shared some data stating that 91%  of parents say they are aware of what their children are doing online. However, when surveying the children themselves, only 60% of kids say their parents know what they do online.  We need to be more vigilant.  Some parents have programs that actually notify them of certain key phrases that children are using that are of concern. (Dr. Shapiro spoke of a program called VISR, which is a monitoring program that picks up on any problematic language).  We encourage parents to know their teens’ passwords and randomly monitor their social networking.  Every so often check their browser history. (Although some are savvy enough to erase things from the history, it is still a good idea to check).  “Friend” your child.  Be upfront and tell your child you are doing any or all of the above to protect them.  And, explain why. 

Why? What should we tell them?  A recent survey of 802 parents asked what parents are doing to oversee their child’s “digital footprint.”  These are some issues on parents’ minds: a. The amount of information advertisers learn about their child’s online behavior.  b. Children interacting online with people they do not know.  c.  How the online activity of their children can affect academic or employment opportunities.  (We often discuss with middle schoolers how even high schools are savvy about their online activity).  d. How our children manage their reputations online.  e. Cyberbullying. I can personally attest to the terrible impact a text or a post can make. f. Limiting the amount of time spent online which prevents children from serious engagement in homework, interacting socially and even causes lack of sleep.

The word “privacy” also brings to mind “privacy settings.”  As parents we need to review our children’s privacy settings on social media.  Although I am in no way a technology expert, I found this blog at http://www.teensafe.com/blog/how-to-manage-privacy-settings-on-social-media/, which seemed to be helpful in terms of navigating privacy settings on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and Whatsapp.

            How about privacy in general, and not just online?   Teens do need more privacy and “space.”  It is normal for teens to spend more time in their rooms. However, if a child spends hours upon hours in her room, never seems to want to talk, and is withdrawn, that is a warning sign to investigate further. How do you determine what is private?  Assess what you “need to know.”  One does not need to listen in on phone conversations or read his diary.  But, there also needs to be an understanding that privacy is a privilege, not a right.  If your child violates your trust, then you need to let him/her know that you will be snooping around.

            In Bamidbar 24, we notice that Bilaam, who was initially supposed to curse Bnei Yisrael, ends up blessing them. Why? Pasuk 2 tells us, “And, Bilaam raised his eyes and he saw Israel dwelling according to his tribes and the spirit of G-d came upon him” to bless them. Why? The Gemara in Bava Batra 60a, quoted by Rashi, states that he was moved to bless them because he noticed that their tents were built with their doors not facing each other- to ensure privacy.  This led to his beracha that we say each day in Tefilla- “Ma tovu ohalecha Yaakov, mishkenotecha Yisrael” “How good are your tents Yaakov, your dwelling places, Yisrael.”   Despite living in an internet age, we know that privacy is an important Jewish value. 
           
            Rabbeinu Gershom, who lived about 1000 years ago, issued a cherem (ban) on reading the private letters of another.   Rabbi Aaron Tendler states that one case in which it would be permissible to the privacy of another would be if “doing so will help the person whose privacy is being invaded.”  Clearly we want our individuating teens to have their privacy. Last night, I was listening to the radio and heard a conversation about privacy (freedom) versus security when it came to Apple’s battle.  When it comes to our teens’ freedom, we want them to have security along with their privacy.

Advisory Update
Sixth Grade-   Students began a lesson on the need to feel popular. They also had a visit from the Reflections Improv group on the topic of  peer pressure.

Seventh Grade-  Students discussed the bystander effect and why we tend to do nothing  when we see injustice.


Eighth Grade- Students focused on the topic of the danger of substance abuse with the impact it has on your brain. 

No comments:

Post a Comment