Monday, May 29, 2017

Shavuot Cleaning? Wrong Holiday...

As we approach Shavuot, most focus on the hero of the Shavuot story, Moshe Rabbeinu. I would like to focus on Yehoshua, the faithful servant of Moshe who becomes the next leader of the Jewish people. Where was Yehoshua during Kabbalat HaTorah?

In  Shemot 24:13 it states,
גוַיָּקָם משֶׁה וִיהוֹשֻׁעַ מְשָׁרְתוֹ וַיַּעַל משֶׁה אֶל הַר הָאֱלֹהִים:
“And Moshe stood up with Yehoshua, his servant, and Moshe ascended to the Mountain of God.”
But, we know that only Moshe ascended to the top of the mountain. Where was Yehoshua?  Approximately 70 times in his commentary on Tanach Rashi says, “I do not know.” This is one of them.  

Rashi says on this pasuk, "I do not know what the function of Yehoshua is here: I say that he was the student accompanying his teacher until the place of the boundaries on the mountain, because he was not allowed to go further. And from there, Moshe ascended alone to the Mountain of God and Yehoshua set up his tent and stayed there for the whole forty days..." (Rashi, Shemot 24:13)  

But, clearly, Yehoshua was not with the rest of the people, as we know later he did not know of the sin of the golden calf. And, yet, he remained close to Har Sinai. Yehoshua was distinctively assigned an important role that indicated his high spiritual level.  

This placement of Yehoshua fits perfectly with what we know about him elsewhere. One could only imagine the greatness of  the man who merited taking the leadership of the Jewish people after Moshe. And, yet, what do we learn about him? Why was he chosen to lead? In fact, Moshe thought that his own children were to lead after him. But, the midrash in Bamidbar Rabba 21:14 relates that God said that that would not be so, and Yehoshua would lead. Why?

Bamidbar Rabba 21:14

יְהוֹשֻׁעַ הַרְבֵּה שֵׁרֶתְךָ וְהַרְבֵּה חָלַק לְךָ כָּבוֹד, וְהוּא הָיָה מַשְׁכִּים וּמַעֲרִיב בְּבֵית הַוַּעַד שֶׁלְּךָ, הוּא הָיָה מְסַדֵּר אֶת הַסַּפְסָלִים, וְהוּא פּוֹרֵס אֶת הַמַּחְצְלָאוֹת, הוֹאִיל וְהוּא שֵׁרֶתְךָ בְּכָל כֹּחוֹ, כְּדַאי הוּא שֶׁיְּשַׁמֵּשׁ אֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְאַבֵּד שְׂכָרוֹ, (במדבר כז, יח): קַח לְךָ אֶת יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בִּן נוּן, לְקַיֵּם מַה שֶּׁנֶּאֱמַר: נֹצֵר תְּאֵנָה יֹאכַל פִּרְיָהּ.

Yehoshua served you much and gave you much honor; and he would come early and leave late your council chamber; he would arrange the benches and roll out the mats - since he served you with all of his strength, he is worthy to tend to Israel, so as to not lose his wage. 'Take Yehoshua the son of Nun,' in order to fulfill, 'He who tends a fig tree will enjoy its fruit.'"

It always struck me that Yehoshua “arranged the benches and rolled out the mats”- sounds like something a custodian should do, not second in command to the leader of the Jewish people!   There was something special about his not leaving the Beit Midrash a mess, but rather organizing it before he left.

A recent article I read by Rabbi Ron Yitzchak Eisenman struck me and reminded me of Yehoshua.  He is  rabbi of a shul and he relates a story about a snowstorm in his community. One of the local teachers in a yeshiva decided to meet his class in the shul that day to learn, since school was closed. Rabbi Eisenman had no idea they were in the building, but spotted them on a security camera.  He was enthralled by watching how excited both the rebbe and talmidim were at learning. But, more importantly he shared,

“I then noticed something, which in some ways was even more incredible than the learning itself.  After the learning finished, I noticed that every boy in the class carefully searched for any wrappers that had fallen and made sure to deposit them in the garbage bin...then pushing every seat back to where it belonged.  He then shut the lights in the ballroom before exiting.”  

What’s so incredible about that? Well, for those of us who parent teens, we know that it is pretty incredible. I recently went to a Yankee game and was embarrassed to see the family sitting next to me whose teens were spitting shells from their sunflower seeds on the floor by their seats.
I often watch at lunch in school and notice which children pick up food after they accidentally drop it on the floor and which ones keep on going. When I host teens at my home, I always notice those who stay after the meal to clean up, (and I hope mine do that same when visiting others!).

There are many reasons why cleaning up is important to their development. It helps them be more responsible. It helps them appreciate what they have as they realize how much effort it takes to keeping the house running.  They learn the value of hard work.

Wendy Mogel, the famous author of The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee  wrote in her second book The Blessing Of A B-”  in the chapter,  “Why your teen needs to do laundry (and how to make it happen).” She tells the story of her friend’s son,
|When it came time for Fall break during his first year at a top-tier college, my neighbour’s son stuffed two months’ worth of laundry—every piece of clothing he’d worn since arriving at school at the end of August—into three oversized suitcases, paid an excess baggage fee of $150 to check them at the airport, and flew home to his parents’ house.
“What were you thinking?” asked his astonished mother, as Josh deposited a mountain of smelly jeans, T-shirts, sweatshirts and socks in the utility room and made his way to the kitchen.
“Mom,” he said, opening the refrigerator, “how was I supposed to have time for laundry? I was studying…plus, I had all my work at the Jewish students’ centre.”
Josh is a good-hearted, generally responsible young man, not typically in the habit of taking advantage of his mother. But in high school, his parents had sheltered him from chores in exchange for his total devotion to school work and extracurriculars. Now, in college, Josh was positive that this bargain was still in place—that academics and religious involvement gave him a free pass out of laundry duty. In Josh’s mind, he was too gifted to sort his own socks.
Yehoshua knew that he was quite gifted. How could he have not realized when he was Moshe’s right hand man? And, yet, he took the time to tidy up the Beit Midrash.  
We often say that our children have so much homework and activities and we want those to be their priorities so they can excel, but, as Dr. Mogel continues,
In my experience, chores lead to better school performance because they teach teens how to organize their time and their actions. Chores form a foundation for the rest of life as well. Young adults with household skills know how to carry their own weight. They’re conscious of ways to help without being told or asked. They aren’t crippled by the depressing belief that only the less talented or unexceptional perform the necessary chores of daily life. And because of their skills and willingness to pitch in, they’re considered kind, respectful and appealing.
It must have been that Yehoshua’s parents, (Nun and his mother!), must have had him helping out at home. He, consequently, became a young man who was leadership material, and considered, “kind, respectful and appealing.”  
We think that it must be obvious to our children to clean up at school in the lunchroom, or when they attend a bar mitzvah, or join a sleepover, but they need to be reminded. As parents, we need to reiterate over and over our expectations for them doing so.
As we accept the עול המצוות - yoke of mitzvot- this Shavuot, we realize that mitzvot may seem like a burden at times, as a yoke does truly weigh on our shoulders.   Yet, we know that it is not a burden, but rather a responsibility which helps us grow and develop.  So, too, our children may see the “yoke” of cleaning up as a burden, but we know this responsibility is essential for their development. Who knows, maybe one day your child will be the next leader of the Jewish people?
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade: Students had a session on how to prepare for finals.
Seventh Grade; This week, students discussed the bystander effect and why people often do nothing when they see someone in trouble.
Eighth Grade: Our 8th graders had their last Advisory session as Yavneh students. They discussed the emotions of what it’s like to graduate and completed an exit survey so they can let us know how they felt their Yavneh experience went and what can be improved.

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