This past summer I was in Monsey shopping. I was standing on line and noticed two children, one I’d say about 6 and one about 3. The 3 year old was kvetchy and getting upset and impatient. The six year old girl turned to him to try to distract him. She said to him “Do you want to hear a TikTok?” I was shocked! First, I was even surprised that this little girl had a phone, never mind TikTok social media! How could that be? And, then I see her take her wrist, which was wearing an analog watch (with hands!), and she put it next to the little boy’s ear, and even I could hear the “tick tock” (with a “ck”) sound coming from the watch. The boy listened and was soothed.
This was a true story, and the moment it happened the first thing I said to myself, “This is going to be for a column!” The next thing I thought about is how sad it is that most of the children in our lives would never be soothed by listening to the “tick tock” of a watch. In fact, how many of us hand our phones over to our “kvetchy” children to watch videos when we see them losing it while waiting in line? I remember the good old days when I would sit in the doctor’s waiting room with my children and I would read to them, or we would play a game. Now, all the children are sitting there on a device-usually their parent’s. You have heard it all before…children are unable to self-soothe without a device. And, we, the adults, do not even attempt to soothe them without devices. This little girl’s innocent “tick tock” made me feel sad about where we are today.
This story also made me think about the TikTok that our teens are engaged in today. One might ask what prompted me to write about TikTok this week when our students have been using it for years? Recently, we had two bullying situations on TikTok which truly saddened me, and it served as the impetus for me to think about how parents need a reminder about the dangers of TikTok.
From Common Sense Media:
Parents need to know that TikTok is a social network for sharing user-generated videos, many of which feature music and sound effects. The app involves a lot of songs, and you can expect swearing and sexual content in some. Though videos viewed during the review process contained only some tight/revealing clothing, depending on which accounts users follow and what content they like, it's possible to encounter sexually suggestive and explicit material.
Here are some of their ratings on the app that truly concern me:
Our teens are exposed to much inappropriate content- through no fault of their own, when using TikTok. Now, you might say that there is a curated version of the app for under 13. Experts recommend not to use it as the Institute for Family Studies notes that TikTok offers a curated version of their app for under-13s. Don’t use it. That watered-down version is designed to fuel interest in the grown-up version. Twelve-year-olds don’t like to be on the kiddie version of anything. And tweens quickly figure out that if they lie about their age, they can easily access the full version.
I know I may be sharing with you information you might already know, but aside from the inappropriate content there are also the physically dangerous, criminal or even deadly challenges that are rampant on TikTok- like putting metal in a socket causing fires, or the skull breaker challenge causing real harm. And, there are challenges that involve sexually inappropriate behaviors.
Of the more than a billion users, TikTok is most popular among teens under the age of 16. And, it is addictive like all social media and teens are spending on average 102 minutes per day on TikTok (more than Youtube).
And, yes, you might say, our children are using TikTok positively too- to just enjoy a dance with their friends, to learn new Miami Boys Choir songs (for those who are unaware a 2007 performance of theirs got 8 million views by Jews and non- Jews), and even to learn new things or stand up for what is right by educating others.
As with anything our children are doing on their devices, we need to be vigilant and monitor their device usage. If you are unsure how to do that effectively, please do contact our technology department who are willing and able to hold your hand to help you learn to do so. (Click HERE FOR A LINK to a handout Mr. Jason David, our Director of Technology, shared with me about TikTok). And, of course, discuss the dangers with your children and watch for signs that your child is spending too much time on TikTok and social media in general.
Before I end I want to get back to the discussion of the other Tick Tock. While most of our students no longer know how to tell time on an analog clock and ask to use only digital, I still maintain the importance of teaching children to tell time on an old-fashioned clock. Primarily, it is easier to visualize time on an analog clock. What does twenty minutes to 2:00 mean? It helps them understand the passage of time better.
This week in our Homeroom Organizational Skills classes with our sixth graders we discussed the “time bandit” who often steals our time. “The Time Bandit gets into the parts of your brain that keep track of time. It confuses you, so you lose track of how much time you have left before you need to do something or how much time has passed while you’re working. These tricks often get you into trouble; you might end up being late to school and have trouble fitting in the work you have to do each evening.” One item that stands in their way is their inability to predict how long something will take them to do. Their sense of time is off. We will be working on that in class, but believe it or not, an understanding of time does come along with that analog clock usage.
(Interesting to note, the students unanimously agreed something that “steals” their time is their technology usage. Before they know it, they are on TikTok or Youtube for hours).
It says in Avot 2:15,
רַבִּי טַרְפוֹן אוֹמֵר, הַיּוֹם קָצָר וְהַמְּלָאכָה מְרֻבָּה,
Rabbi Tarfon said: the day is short, and the work is plentiful
When students have no sense of time, the day is always too short and the work is always too plentiful. When they have a better sense of time, their day is long enough and the work is manageable.
As middle school parents we need to try to help our children manage both the TikToks and the tick tocks in their lives.
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade: Students had the chance to “switch places” with their teachers and understand the teachers’ perspectives.
Seventh Grade: Students learned the skills of empathy
Eighth Grade: Students began a unit on the parent- child relationship.
No comments:
Post a Comment