This past Thursday we had a wonderful bonding day with our sixth grade featuring a hike. While there have only been a few months of school, and I am still getting to know the sixth graders, I find that I learn so much more about them from these informal experiences. I get to schmooze with them about their lives, what they enjoy doing, learn which songs they like to sing on the bus and see their “out of school” personalities. I also have the opportunity to see which children might be struggling socially, which children are inclusive and make sure no one feels left out, which students might be quiet in school whose personalities shine outside of the classroom, and of course the “friend groups” in action.
Some of the students find the hike easy to do and are used to physical activity. Other children find the hike a challenge at certain points, and it is wonderful to see how their peers stick by them to help them through it with encouragement and teamwork. Often there is a child who wants to give up at the beginning and asks to turn around. I was assigned to be the adult at the end of the hike- let’s assume that’s because I am the one who as part of my role takes care of the kids who need the extra encouragement- not because I am really slow! (Full disclosure: I am in no way a “hiker” by nature…I am more of a “museum”-type). I am the מאסף -like the tribe of Dan whose job was to gather anyone who falls behind.
My compassionate side wants to tell the child, “It’s okay. Let’s just turn around and you’ll wait for everyone to come back.” But, I know the other side of me, which wants to help foster resilience and the ability to face challenge needs to tell the child, “Let’s figure out a way that this can work for you!”
This past week in our Faculty Meeting each of our teachers signed up for PLC- professional learning communities. In the PLC that the guidance department is running we are discussing a mental health toolbox for teachers to use in the classroom. In my session last week I discussed the important conflict that we often have as teachers and parents of when do I know if what I am doing is supporting the child- providing him/her with necessary support to grow due to his/her mental health needs, versus when it is coddling- and in actuality preventing the child from growing and becoming emotionally stronger. If a child says to me, “I am too afraid to give a presentation in class”- how do I know if I should just say, “Okay, just have a seat,” knowing that this is too much for the child right now? Or should I say, “Let’s figure out a way that this can work for you!”
One way we can determine which way to respond is by consulting with the parents and the private therapist of the child. Sometimes it is therapeutically more beneficial for a child to try to give that presentation, while at other times, giving that presentation can be extremely harmful to the child. Base on Lev Vygotsky’s learning and development theory, (as I apply it to skills outside of the classroom as well), our primary goal is to assess the child’s “zone of proximal development”- the difference between what the child can do without help and what he/she can do with guidance and encouragement from a helper. “Proximal” means an ability that the child is close to being able to do, but cannot do it yet. It must be something that is not too easy, but still challenging so that if he/she gets a bit of help he/she can master the skill and even improve. When a child is in the “zone” all he/she needs is a little boost to make it further.
One strategy used to help a child when in that zone is through scaffolding. Once you assess a child’s zone of proximal development, then you set up support for the child, which is tapered off as it becomes unnecessary, just like a scaffold is taken off a building during construction. A good example is teaching our children to ride a bike. First they have training wheels, and then we hold their bike ourselves until they can do it on their own.
And, so, instead of telling the child he can turn around, I attempted to assess his “zone of proximal development” taking into consideration any anxious feelings or worries, and began a plan of emotional scaffolding (and maybe even some physical, with a friend reaching out with his hand).
In thinking about it, hiking is truly a metaphor for much of what we face in life. (Yes, while most people hike to enjoy, I am thinking about fodder for my next column!) Most often it is a new trail we have never walked and we may not know what lies ahead around the bend. For some the same path might seem easy. For others of us it takes every effort we have. We may set a goal, but there are often unpredictable obstacles in our way. But, we find the strength to stick to it, and we may have to try to get through the path a different way than we had planned. If we fall, we get up and keep on going. And, we may end the hike tired, but most often elated that we made it.
Author Rolayne Sellers highlighted in her article how there are life lessons we can learn from hiking:
Pick your path-Using a map choose the path in advance.
Make sure the hike (i.e. goals) you choose is something you can attain, but will cause you to stretch.
Don’t hike alone.
Take water and snacks- make sure to focus on your personal needs.
If you get a rock in your shoe, stop and get it out. Take care of little issues in your life before they become big.
Don’t get so busy watching the path that you don’t remember to look up and see the scenery and view. Sometimes we get so busy with our lives we forget to stop and enjoy and remember where we are headed.
Even when the climb is tough- keep on going!
Interestingly enough, a number of monumental events for the Jewish people happened on mountains like Har Sinai and Har HaMoriah. Why did they not happen on flat ground? It was as if the message was being relayed that to achieve greatness, one must hike. As Rabbi Berel Wein notes, “So the Torah bids us all to be mountain climbers. … and realize that according to the effort will be the reward. There is no easy way or smooth path to a concentrated Jewish life. The example of Moshe climbing Mount Sinai remains the metaphor for all of us and for all Jewish life till eternity.” But, Har Sinai, while a mountain, was a small one and “climbable”- to reassure us that with some effort we can all hike to the top.
As I watch our sixth graders begin their journey, or hike through middle school, I can already envision them in 8th grade, having reached their destinations with persistence and pride.
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade: Students discussed organizing their at-home work space and had a chance to share how middle school is doing.
Seventh Grade: Students discussed how the issues of the homeless they have learned about affect the Jewish community and the role they can play.
Eighth Grade: Students contemplated what they are “good at” and how filling out applications and interviewing is an impetus to consider their strengths.
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