How to "Friend" G-d

G-d doesn't have a Blackberry or an iPhone, but He is my favorite contact.

He doesn't have Facebook, but He is my best friend.

He doesn't have Twitter, but I follow Him nonetheless.

He doesn't have internet, but I am connected to Him.

And even though He has a massive communication system, His customer service never puts me on hold.

Mrs. Sharon Risch sent me the above called “G-d and Social Media.” It, of course, speaks volumes about our relationships with our technology, but more importantly- at this time of year, with G-d. We know that "דרשו ה בהמצאו” (Yeshayahu 55:6) “Seek Hashem when He is near”- during the month of Elul through Aseret Yimei Teshuva G-d is nearer and closer to us, and we are to seek out that closeness and repent. How do we help our teens feel that closeness? The word Elul itself is an acronym for “ אני לדודי ודודי לי" “I am to my Beloved as my Beloved is to me”- as it is a time we are to seek out a relationship with G-d during the entire month of Elul, leading up to the Yamim Noraim. How do we raise children who feel this need to even have a relationship with G-d that is as least as strong as their relationships with their iPods? The above poem crystallizes this challenge. A few weeks ago, my three year old son said to me innocently, “Hashem is my best friend.” I want my children to feel that G-d is their best friend throughout their lives. (Even when it's not “cool” to say so). How do we make that feeling last?

Rabbi Steven Burg, the International Director of NCSY, wrote in an issue of Jewish Action that we wonder why many teenagers who are raised Orthodox simply go through the motions and then stray from Orthodoxy when they go off to college. He asserts that we need to “Reintroduce G-d into our schools, homes and relationships...Judaism is first and foremost about one's relationship with the Almighty, not about fitting into a social group.” Teens, and adults, lead observant lives because it is expected of them in the community in which they live. “A teen who attends a day school recently confided to me that although she has learned all of the intricacies of hilchot borer in her high school honors dinim class, she is not certain that she believes in G-d,” cites Rabbi Burg as an example. “A rabbi I know recently wrote about this very problem. While his Bubbie never studied the commentaries on Tehillim, which his daughters all currently learn and know, he wrote, his daughters cannot cry over Tehillim the way his Bubbie did.”

What can we as parents do to instill this love of Hashem in our children? We need to share with our children that the goal of all the wonderful and insightful commentaries and thought-provoking halachot that they are learning is to get closer to Hashem. We need to display our own love for G-d in words and action. When we experience a trip to the beach together and see the sunset, we need to say, “Wow. How amazing are the creations of Hashem. Can't you feel Hashem here?” It may sound cheesy, but we need to say it aloud. When I taught a Jewish philosophy class I used to ask my students to write about a time that they felt Hashem in their lives. We need to ask our teens to ask themselves these questions. Some students even kept a “Hashgacha Pratit (feeling G-d's presence) Journal.” We need to bring Hashem into their everyday lives.

As we do Mitzvot with joy we also relay the message that we are doing mitzvot to connect with G-d. If you truly love someone everything you do “for Him” is a joy. This applies to Tefilla as well. What message are we sending them about Davening- our opportunity to connect and talk to G-d? Like with a best friend, I turn to G-d to speak with Him when I have troubles. He always listens. We should bring up conversations with them about, “How do we connect with a G-d we can't see? How do we know He is there? Does He really answer our prayers?” These are important discussions to have with our teens. This is all part of the spiritual education we must give our children. They may challenge us- a perfect opportunity for a serious heart to heart.

I once read that we should try an exercise and ask our children why they are important. Most will say because they “get good grades, are good at sports, have good friends...”- all based on something human that can change. But, how about sharing with them that their self-worth is based on a Bereishit 1:27 “G-d created human beings in the Divine image.” You are wonderful because you are created in the image of Hashem and that Hashem loves you.

Judaism is not a dry, cold religion full of rote laws. It is, however, easy to fall into the mechanical performance of Mitzvot. Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe in his book Alei Shor shares the antidote to this problem as “let us contemplate that the Holy One, Blessed be He, Himself, commanded us in this commandment, and that through it, we are connecting with Him.” Taking a moment to stop and think before performing a mitzvah- not something most of us do.

As we approach Yom Kippur, I rededicate myself to work on my relationship with G-d and to help my children develop theirs. At this time of year, may we “friend” Hashem. I know He will “friend” us back.