The Lessons of Inclusion and "Behold"

 “Hiney ma tov u'manaim shevet achim gam yachad.” “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to to dwell together in unity.” The words of Tehillim 133:1 were on our minds this past Shabbat's Yavneh -Yachad Shabbaton. The name of the organization Yachad explains its mission- the inclusion of every member of the Jewish community. In fact, February is National Inclusion Month. One can clearly see the benefit for our students as they work with the Yachad members. It creates a sensitivity and caring that cannot be taught. (And, it is no coincidence that we hold this Shabbaton each year at the shul called Ahavat Achim. We thank the community for opening their homes and shul, and showing our students what true unity is about).

There is also the message of “Hiney” “Behold” that our students learned this weekend. What is this lesson? The secret to this lesson is found in pasuk 2 in Mizmor 133, where it states, “As the good oil on the head runs down upon the beard, the beard of Aaron, which runs down on the mouth of his garments.” What does Aharon's beard have to do with brothers sitting in unity?

Interestingly enough, in a shiur I was privileged to share this past Shabbat, we discussed the reaction of Moshe when Hashem shared with him that he would be the leader to take the Jews out of Egypt. In Shemot 3:10, Moshe asks Hashem instead to send Aharon, as Rashi points out in 10:14, as he was afraid that Aharon would be resentful that his “little brother” was chosen instead of him. But, Hashem responds in Shemot 4:14 that “Behold, he is going out to meet you and when he sees you, he will rejoice in his heart.” There will be no jealousy, but only happiness for his brother. Aharon was able to overcome the sibling rivalry that many children and adults feel. But, still Moshe refused to take the leadership position for seven days. He was therefore punished that he would not be the Kohen Gadol, as was the original plan. His brother Aharon would play that role.

This transferring of the High Priesthood to his brother is born out this week's parasha. The entire Parasha of Tetzaveh does not even mention Moshe's name. It is in this parasha that Aharon was chosen to begin the kehunah, and it is as if Moshe symbolically is stepping aside to allow his brother to have the limelight. In Tehillim “like precious oil upon the head...” is referring to when Moshe annointed his brother as Kohen Gadol. Rabbi Mordechai Willig points out that the Midrash Vayikra 3:6 highlights that the word “beard” is repeated since “when Moshe saw the oil on Aharon's beard, he rejoiced as if it was running down his own. Moshe reciprocated Aharon's expression of joy and lack of jealousy.”

Rabbi Willig continues to point out that the word “behold” is used above when Aharon was joyful with Moshe's leadership, (Shemot 4:14), and also when Hashem shared with Aharon, "Behold I have given you the gift of kehuna," (Bamidbar 18:8). And, then again in Tehillim “Behold, how good and pleasant is the dwelling of brothers together.” “Behold" (Hineh) is an expression of joy, as in 'Behold...he will rejoice in his heart'(Rashi)... This is the meaning of the expression 'Behold.' One must recognize that his lot is ordained by Hashem, and be happy with it. Everyone will be called by name, set in place and given a position. No one shall encroach upon your wealth or kingdom, even for as much as a hairsbreadth (Yoma 38b-39a)... 'behold', describes the joy of these two great brothers, Moshe and Aharon. It also challenges all of us to eliminate jealousy and to happily accept the lot that Hashem has ordained for each and every one of us. Only then will we all be able to dwell as brothers in unity. How good and pleasant will it be!”

 (In fact,  new research indicates that true friendship does not only mean being "there" when a friend has trouble to support him/her.   A true friend is able to be "there" for you when things are going right for you- without any jealousy. It's the ability, as we say in Yiddish and Hebrew,  to "fargin" the other having better than you. And, even more so, the research continues that the" happiest people are the ones who are present when things go right for others—and whose own wins are regularly celebrated by their friends as welll").

The message of “behold” is one our students receive when they interact with the Yachad members. Despite having developmental disabilities, the sheer happiness these children have reflects the ability to “happily accept the lot that Hashem has ordained for each and every one of us.” It puts it all into perspective for our typically developing students, as they realize the importance of being happy with their lots in life. As Rabbi Willig said, “ Everyone will be called by name, set in place and given a position.” In a community that believes in and practices inclusion, everyone does have a place. As parents, we need to constantly remind ourselves and our children of the lessons of “behold”- how lucky we are and how thankful we are to Hashem for granting us the lot we were given. “Eizehu ashir, hasameach b'chelko” “Who is rich? One who is happy with his lot.” (Avot 4:1) Isn't raising happy children our goal?

Advisory Updates:

Sixth Graders- Discussed the differences between spoken (direct) and unspoken (indirect) peer pressure.

Seventh Graders- Discussed resiliency and the skills needed for resiliency.

Eighth Graders- Continued practical discussions about cheating and the high stakes and pressures many students face in school.