“They
told me it couldn't be done that
I was a lost cause. I was picked on and picked last. Coaches didn’t
know how to talk to me. They gave up on me. Told me I should just
quit. They didn’t call my name. Told me it was over. But I’ve
been deaf since I was 3, so I didn’t listen.” These are the
words of Seattle Seahawk's Derrick Coleman in a Duracell commercial.
He is the first legally deaf football player to make it to the
Superbowl.
Coleman's
appearance in today's Superbowl fit in perfectly with our 7th
grade Advisory Unit on Resiliency- “When Life Gives You Lemons.”
Despite being rejected at first, he did not give up. Coleman
describes that until he started playing football he was taunted and
bullied. And, of course, the hours with audiologists and language
therapists learning how to read lips and navigate in the world at
large was intense. One can only imagine the amount of effort and
persistence it takes for him to play football and understand what the
coaches and players need from him. All those who work with him state
that there is never any difficulty.
From
where does resilience like Coleman's come? His teammates maintain
that he has two survival skills- concentration
and focus,
and “whatever
it takes.”
All success takes hard work- and Coleman does not shy away from it.
Coleman stresses, “If you really want something, you find a way to
make it happen....People with disabilities should never make excuses
for why they cannot achieve their goals...I just have to work a
little harder.”
Those
who know Coleman well say that he never has a bad day. Coleman
agrees that he tends to have that optimistic
point of view.
"That's just the way I approach my life," Coleman said.
"Every day I wake up and I get a chance. I always say that God
blessed me this morning and I can do what I do. Our time in this
world is very limited. It can be gone now or it can be gone later so
I take advantage of every opportunity I have whether it's playing
football, working or whatever. I'm just a happy guy. There's no
reason for me to ever get mad."
Students
assume that celebrities with “blessed” lives have it easy. They
forget about the many years of struggle and the resiliency needed to
bounce back and persist after failure. We do an activity with the
students about famous people who nearly failed, and if it weren't for
their not giving up, they would have failed. “Ran for political
office seven times and was defeated each time”- who is this?
Abraham Lincoln. “
His first children’s book was rejected by 23 publishers.”- Dr.
Seuss. “Flunked the sixth grade. As a sixteen-year-old in Paris, a
teacher had written on his report card, 'Shows
a conspicuous lack of success.'
He wished to become a military leader, or a great statesman. As a
student, he failed three times in his exams to enter the British
Military Academy.” Winston Churchill.
“As
a high school student, he felt so unpopular with the girls that he
thought he might never be able to find a wife. That's why he took a
cooking class. He thought he might never have anyone to cook for
him.” - Michael Jordan. What do they all have in common?
Stick-to-it -iveness- as defined by Merriam- Webster, “The
quality that allows someone to continue trying to do something even
though it is difficult or unpleasant.”
Otherwise known as resiliency.
Each
year, I share the visit of Rabbi Yitzy Haber, a Teaneck native, who
addressed our 7th
graders last Monday. He shares his story of his battle with cancer
and losing his leg in a humorous and entertaining manner, thereby
demonstrating how he coped with difficulties in life- with humor.
(You can read his story at
http://www.aish.com/sp/so/A_Leg_to_Stand_On.html).
This year, Yitzy highlighted his “stick-to-it-iveness”
throughout his struggle. He spoke about his need at the age of Bar
Mitzvah to learn how to walk again after his amputation. He
described his first session with the physical therapist. He thought
she was going to teach him how to walk. She said, “First let me
teach you how to fall.” He was confused- didn't he come to learn
how to walk?” She asserted, “If you don't learn how to fall the
right way, you won't be able to get up again after you fall.” He
pointed out to the students that this was a lesson for life. Of
course we will all “fall” and face failure and disappointments.
However, if we learn how to fall- with maintaining optimism, and
with the hard work and focus it takes to stand up again, it is easier
to get up again. Yitzy stressed that this was a metaphor for his
life. He could have chosen to be angry and bitter. He would have then
fallen and never gotten up. But, he chose to be hopeful and
resilient.
Mishlei
24:10 states, “If
you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.” True
strength is the ability to stand again. In 24:16 it adds, “For a
righteous man falls seven times, and yet rises up again; but the
wicked stumble into calamity.” Why the number seven? It represents
many times. No matter how many times the righteous fall, they get up
again- they fell down the “right” way.
In
this week's parasha we begin to discuss the building of the Mishkan.
In the final days of setting up the Mishkan (Bamidbar 7:1) it states
twice that Moshe “annointed it and sanctified it.” Rashi
explained, “On the day that Moshe had finished setting up the
Mishkan...” We learn that on each day of the seven days of the
installation of the Kohanim Moshe erected the Mishkan and took it
down, but on the eighth day he erected it and and did not take it
down.” Rabbi Benzion Sobel explains why Moshe would erect and then
dismantle. He compares it to the Midrash in Bereishit Rabbah 3:7
which states that before Hashem created the world he created many
worlds and destroyed them. Why? And, this is most particularly
confusing since Hashem knows what the product will be before it is
even finished and knows exactly what He wants it to be like. This is
meant to be a lesson for us.
In
the battle with the Yetzer Hara, we will fail and fall many times.
But, the tzaddik never gives up. Our greatest adversary is “Yeush”-
giving up, hopelessness. If the Yetzer Hara can convince the person
that his situation is hopeless, and it does not pay to go on, he has
won the war. Hashem created worlds and destroyed them until He “got
it right.” Moshe Rabbeinu did the same to show us that we cannot
discouraged “if we worked very hard, with tremendous
self-sacrifice, to build something great, only to see it crumble
before our very eyes. As much as it hurts, we must not get
discouraged, but strengthen ourselves and start again.”
Rabbi
Sobel highlights the story of Rabbi Akiva-who lost 24,000 students
and then went to the the south of Eretz Yisrael (Yevamot 62b) to gain
five new students. One can imagine the strength and the
stick-to-it-iveness it took for him to overcome his disappointment
and sorrow after losing all of his talmidim, and to muster the
strength to build again.
I
know that at this point, most of us prefer to focus on on the actual
score of the game and the food. I apologize if I am interrupting.
After it is over, perhaps Derrick Coleman can give us food for
thought and discussion with our children.
Advisory
Update:
Sixth
Grade: Have begun a unit on Peer Pressure launched by an interactive
Improv program.
Seventh
Grade: Have begun a unit of Facing Adversity in Life and Resiliency.
Eighth
Grade: Second half of the year focuses on preparing for life in High
School. This past week's topic was about Cheating.
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