Courage. This
past week Mrs. Shifra Srolovitz, a Child Life Specialist at The Stephen D. Hassenfeld Children’s
Center for Cancer and Blood Disorders at the NYU Langone Medical Center, presented to our 7th graders about
the true courage she witnesses daily.
What is a Child Life Specialist? In short, they are “pediatric health care
professionals who work with children and families in hospitals and other
settings to help them cope with the challenges of hospitalization, illness, and
disability.” Mrs. Srolovitz described to
our students what her center is like through taking them on a virtual tour of
the facility, describing to them some of the challenges faced by the patients,
and her role in helping them cope with some of the difficulties of undergoing
treatments.
Our students then decorated stuffed animals
(gorillas) with encouraging phrases and pictures that will be delivered to
patients by some of our students.
Speaking about illness and asking our students to perhaps deliver some
of the gorillas asks them to step outside their comfort zones. For most children, and adults, connecting
with someone with illness is awkward. They do not know what to say. They do not
know how to act. In Advisory, they learn
about the power of the words we say to ourselves when faced by challenge, and
the words we can share with others.
I feel that stepping outside their comfort
zones is essential for teens. Dr. Marilyn Price Mitchell highlights that
particularly teens may be best suited for this as they are known for their
risk-taking behavior. She states that we
always associate risk-taking behaviors as being negative and leading to
dangerous behaviors. There is, however,
a positive side to risk-taking which encourages teens to stretch their comfort
zones. “Happiness is not just about
doing things you like. It also requires
growth and adventuring beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone…Curious
people invest in activities that cause them discomfort as a springboard for
higher psychological peaks.” In her research study she found that this kind
of risk-taking” led to teens feeling a
“sense of accomplishment and self-esteem that came from learning to solve
problems, working with others and pushing their comfort zones.” All these benefits came despite their noting
that they felt “scared.” In today’s
society we often find people who avoid discomfort at all costs. Discomfort is essential in building
resiliency. Since the teenage brain
craves risk-taking, we can help them utilize this natural inclination for the
positive. When was the last time your teen went out of his/her comfort zone for
the good? Risk-taking can increase
happiness, Dr. Mitchell stresses.
Margie Warrell
from Forbes demonstrates how “getting comfortable with discomfort” is essential
for success in life. “… no worthwhile aspiration
can be accomplished from within our comfort zone. Only in giving up the
security of the known can we create new opportunity, build capability, and grow
influence. As we do, we expand the perimeter of our ‘Courage Zone’
and our confidence to take on bigger challenges in the future.” I would like to borrow her term “Courage
Zone.” We need to step out of our comfort zones and out into our courage
zones where we risk the chance of failure, are willing to face criticism,
and are able to deal with the discomfort. Let’s help our children step into and expand their
“courage zones.”
This
term courage reminds me of when Mrs.
Srolovitz most poignantly described a program they run called Beads of Courage.
As the Beads of Courage website describes, “Children who participate in the
program receive colored beads that represent milestones, procedures, and acts
of bravery. For instance, they get a yellow bead for an overnight hospital
stay, a white one for chemotherapy, and a glow-in-the-dark bead for radiation
treatment. It's not uncommon for children to amass 10, 20 -- even 35 -- feet of
beads. It helps young patients track and celebrate their progress, but it also
gives them a way to get through upcoming procedures, says Gwendolyn Possinger,
the coordinator of Children's Memorial Hospital's Beads of Courage program in
Chicago. ‘A child facing another needle
can look at his beads and realize that he made it through before so he can do
it again,’ she says.” These beads
testify to the courage these children use to face life’s challenges. In Advisory we share that all challenges-
from the big test the next day, a fight with a friend or, G-d forbid, an illness,
they all take courage.
In Megillat
Esther we read of Esther’s struggle in going before Achashveirosh as Mordechai
had asked her. She responded in 4: 11, “All the king’s servants, and the people of the king’s
provinces, know, that whoever, whether man or woman, shall come to the king
into the inner court, who is not called, there is a law; to put him to death,
except such to whom the king shall hold out the golden scepter, that he may
live; but I have not been called to come to the king these thirty days.” Esther ultimately acquiesces, but she needed
to step out of her comfort zone and into her courage zone. She was truly afraid.
Using the
Purim story and Esther as an example, we relay the message to our children that
being courageous does not mean not being fearful. It means doing what you need
to do even though you are afraid. We do
not admire people for being fearless. Overcoming those fearful feelings, and
expanding our “courage zones” is that which is admirable.
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