At
the death of Stephen Hawking this past week, there was much discussion about
disability and its impact on his life and his scientific accomplishments.
There was much dismay by disability activists that many in the media
portrayed Hawking at his death as being finally free of his disability. In Jessica Roy’s article in the LA Times
“Erasing Stephen Hawking's disability erases an important part of who he
was,” she quotes Andrew Gurza among those who were unhappy with this portrayal.
"His disability probably lent itself to him becoming
such a great mind, probably more than most people," Gurza said.
"Maybe [Hawking] wouldn't have written this book, maybe he wouldn't have
thought about all these things if he weren't disabled." Was his
disability in actuality a blessing?
You
may know that our 7th graders are in the middle of a unit in Advisory
“When Life Gives You Lemons- Coping With Adversity in Life.” This year, one
person we spoke of was Mandy Harvey, a finalist on America’s Got Talent, who
was studying vocal music education when she lost her hearing. The
students watched a video which described how she cannot hear the music she
plays on her ukulele, nor the accompanying musicians, but removes her shoes so
she can feel the beat of the music in her feat as she sings. The students
considered- Her whole life was music and then her hearing was gone.
“Everything I ever wanted was going away and I couldn’t stop it, ” she
said. But, Mandy did not give up. She
was resilient. (We discuss resiliency in
Advisory). What contributed to this resiliency?
When her father suggested to her to play a song she originally thought
that was “crazy.” But, her father
convinced her that she had to change her perspective. “Music now is not
about the sound, it’s about the feeling.”
She continues to share, “It’s not
the dream that I always had. That’s okay. Because I showed up and I did
something I never believed I could do.”
Mandy
Harvey performs a song she wrote called, “Try.” In the song she speaks
about her life being more grey than blue. But, at the end, “There is no
one for me to blame, ‘cause I know the only thing in my way is me.” Our
students discuss that it is her perspective and the way she thinks about the
situation that makes the difference. She has upbeat thinking versus down and
out thinking. Mandy has the ability to see the cup half full and not half
empty. Our students then learn the skills of positive self- talk. We explain to the students that it is
exactly what it sounds like - talking to yourself and telling yourself that
encouraging messages. You can do it. It will be okay. You have succeeded before and you will
succeed again. It is sort of what you would tell a friend when he/she is faced
with trouble, but instead, you tell those encouraging words to yourself.
I
recently read an article in Mishpacha Magazine written by Rabbi Shneur
Aisenstark, the dean of Beth Jacob Seminary of Montreal. The title
was “The Gift of Dyslexia: My only bechirah is in
how I handle it.” In this article, Rabbi Aisenstark shares that he has
dyslexia. He describes how when he was born, before World War II, no one
recognized the disorder. He was told to simply, “work harder- a meaningless
instruction if there ever was one.” He continued to describe how he was
forced to hide his disability. Even though he could not spell in English or
Hebrew he finished school and even got semicha.
(The tests were given orally!) He still cannot recall the order of
things- like the parshiot, and even today he has a trick to recall the order of
the berachot when called up to get an aliyah. At the age of
60, he even has a trick to recall which is his right or left hand.
Reading is a chore, as he still reverses letters. He proclaims that a benefit of that is that
he is forced to daven slower- having more kavana. Rabbi Aisenstark
describes that he is now an administrator of a school with over 600 students.
One can imagine how Rabbi Aisenstark can truly understand and support the
students who have challenges. His disability has made him a more
effective educator. He knows that
everyone can succeed despite challenges.
I never announced my
disability from the rooftops, but, as you are reading, I do not hide it any
longer. Hashem gave me this disability so that my life follows the trajectory
that is most beneficial for me, one in which I can strive to fulfill the tafkid
that He designated for me. Why should I hide something that is not of my doing?
I had no bechirah as to whether I would have dyslexia — my only bechirah is
in how I handle it. It certainly must be the best thing for me, even though
I may not always see how.
Had I not had a
problem with language, I might have chosen to become an editor or journalist.
Had I been proficient in the multiplication tables, I might have gone into a
math-related field. I am grateful that HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave me this
disability, because it led me in the direction of chinuch, to which I have
devoted my life...
What are the
ingredients of success? You need to be crafty and have a tremendous amount of
willpower to accomplish whatever it is you are striving for. You must have the
emunah that if you try hard, Hashem will give you the siyata d’Shmaya to
complete your unique mission.
Basya bas Pharaoh
wanted the baby Moshe so badly that she stretched out her hand to grasp him,
despite the seemingly an unbridgeable distance between herself and him. She
tried hard and Hashem helped her.
As believing Jews,
belief in the lot in life we were handed being G-d ordained is a form of
positive self- talk and seeing the cup as half full. This is what G-d meant for
me, for whatever reason I do not know, and I am up to the challenge.
As we approach Chag
HaPesach I often consider that Moshe Rabbeinu had a stutter. He was “כבד פה וכבד לשון.” (There is a discussion as to what this
phrase does mean, but many parshanim do explain it as a speech impediment of
some sort). Why is it that the greatest Jewish leader that ever lived had this
impediment? (In fact, I recently read that when the makers of the animated
Prince of Egypt made the movie, one of the rabbinic consultants
discussed this issue with them. They consciously decided that Moshe could not
be a believable leader with his stutter and decided to leave it out of the
movie). I believe that Hashem was sending us a message about how to face
challenges in life. Hashem did not deem this stutter as an obstacle to
Moshe’s leading the entire Jewish
people. It is Moshe himself who is concerned about his inability to be taken
seriously. Hashem therefore provides Aharon as a spokesperson. But, Moshe must
still speak. “You will speak all that
I command you, and Aharon your brother will speak to Pharaoh” ( Shemot 7:2).
Why? When Moshe said לֹא֩
אִ֨ישׁ דְּבָרִ֜ים אָנֹ֗כִי...כִּ֧י כְבַד־פֶּ֛ה וּכְבַ֥ד לָשׁ֖וֹן אָנֹֽכִי:I am
not a man of words...for I am heavy of mouth and heavy of tongue,” Hashem responded “ מִ֣י שָׂ֣ם פֶּה֘
לָֽאָדָם֒ ... הֲלֹ֥א
אָֽנֹכִ֖י ה” "Who gave man a mouth...Is it not I, the Lord?” Hashem is relaying the
message that Moshe can overcome this challenge and can be the greatest leader
that ever lived because Hashem is with him. Hashem has given Moshe his
challenge, but He also provides him with support to overcome that challenge.
We each face a
different challenge in life. Every one of our children has his/her own
challenge. But, we can raise them to say that no matter what with
positive perspective, positive self-talk, perseverance and emunah they can each
grow to be Stephen Hawking or Mandy Harvey or Rabbi Aisenstark or Moshe
Rabbeinu.
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade; Students began a unit on friendship and what is a true friend?
Seventh Grade; Students learned about upbeat versus down and out thinking
and how to apply it to situations in their own lives. Students also had their
first session of the Adolescent Life classes.
Eighth Grade: The pressures of being dishonest as they enter “the real world”
were discussed. They also had wonderful sessions with Rabbi Beni Krohn and Mrs.
Shoshana Samuels on relationships in Judaism.
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