The Media And Its Message

As you  know, we have embarked on our Adolescent Life Classes in our middle school this month.  Eighth graders started last week. Seventh Graders start tomorrow.  Sixth graders will start the following week. (You will receive a detailed letter, if you haven’t yet, describing what we cover).  I always look forward to my sessions with my 8th graders, as they are on the precipice of adulthood, as they can truly begin to contemplate serious issues.

As a preface to my lesson on Judaism’s view of relationships,  I begin my sessions with the 8th grade girls with an activity. I ask them to think about what was the last TV show/movie that they watched that had a male/female relationship. I then ask them to describe the characters and their relationship.  Inevitably, they present how the relationships are generally based mostly on the physical, are fleeting or have ups and downs, people cheat on each other, and often one member of the couple is mistreated by the other.

I then present them with research on how the media (movies, TV etc.) have changed the way Americans,  (not even necessarily Jewish people),  view relationships...and not for the better.  One such study reports that subjects were given a list of movies and television shows and were asked how often they watch them.  The more exposure to these shows and movies the more it impacted on their view of love, romance and even a healthy relationship.  Julia Lippman, the author of the study,  states that “beliefs about relationships can have implications for relationship satisfaction and longevity."  A similar study done with married couples went so far as to say that actually the status of a relationship can be in jeopardy among frequent TV watchers. These frequent watchers believe the unrealistic portrayal of relationships on TV, and are therefore unsatisfied with their relationships. We talk about the statistics that  that 68% of all TV shows, other than the news, sports and children’s shows, contain sexual content?  75% of network prime-time shows contain either sexual dialogue or sexual behavior.  And, teens, ages 13 to 15, rank TV, magazines , movies and music as the top source of information about sexuality for them.   

The girls and I then continue to speak about the misrepresentation of good relationships they are watching and how Judaism’s view clearly leads to healthier and happier relationships- even according to the secular research presented.  

One  important component of this discussion with thei girls is my presenting to them the impact that the media has on their outlook on life.  We are constantly reinforcing the impact of the media and its message with our students.

One opportunity for such focus is a lesson  we have done  with students right after the super bowl.  We actually share with them an article written for parents by Caroline Knorr “Beer And The Super Bowl: Are Your Kids Watching?”  Knorr writes about the ads that the children are watching with us. “As adults, we may be evaluating an ad’s humor or creativity, but the impact on kids can be quite different. Remember the Budweiser frogs? So do kids. A study by the Center on Alcohol Advertising showed that 9- to 11-year-old kids had higher recall (73%) of the Budweiser frogs’ slogan than the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers (39%). And kids knew what the frogs were selling: 81% identified beer as the product promoted by the frogs....But alcohol messaging needs to be managed with kids, since the simple truth is that they’re powerfully influenced by alcohol branding. There will also be plenty of junk food ads and more supermodels promoting products ranging from cars to flowers.”  What are the messages our children are getting? We want them as middle schoolers to think about those messages that are contrary to what is physically and emotionally healthy for them.

We also target this area when it comes to gender stereotypes.  Dr. Cynthia Spicher and Dr. Mary Hudak videotaped and categorized 118 cartoon characters from a single episode of Saturday morning cartoons. Characters were rated on sex, prominence, gender stereotyping, aggressive behaviors and occupational roles.  They found gender stereotypes still as evident as they were in the 1970’s when this research began. We share this research with our students and ask them the be critical media viewers.

And, then there is, of course, the impact of media on body image- on both boys and girls. There’s the research again… The amount of time kids spend watching TV, and movies is associated with how unhappy they are with their bodies and their desire to be thin. (The more TV they watch, the more they desire to be thin). In a study on ten year old boys and girls, after watching a clip from the TV show “Friends”  they said they were unhappy with their bodies. The more commercials students watched, the less satisfied they were with the way they looked, and the less confident they became.  We ask the students to focus on the fantasy of what they are viewing versus the fact of what is the reality.

We also discuss the impact of media on teens and violence. Whether viewing or playing violent content can impact on teen violence, or just desensitize our children. We want our children to understand why we are limiting their viewing when it comes to violence.

As parents, what can we do? Common Sense Media is a wonderful resource for parents about media use today for our children www.commonsensemedia.org. I am constantly going on the website before allowing my children to watch movies, TV shows or even read books.  Some tips they provide:   We need to speak to our children about viewing media with a critical eye. We need to point out to them the message the ad or TV show is sending them and why it is not accurate.  We can challenge the assumptions the media is portraying.  We need to make our values clear and how they differ from what they are watching.  As always, look for teachable moments to discuss what they are watching.  Don’t allow your children to watch behind closed doors.  And, they are still young enough that we should be monitoring their media use and even limiting their access to certain types  of media.

It says in Bamidbar 15:39 as we daven each day,

וְלֹֽא־תָת֜וּרוּ אַֽחֲרֵ֤י לְבַבְכֶם֙ וְאַֽחֲרֵ֣י עֵֽינֵיכֶ֔ם אֲשֶׁר־אַתֶּ֥ם זֹנִ֖ים אַֽחֲרֵיהֶֽם: 

“You shall not wander after your hearts and after your eyes after which you are going astray” Rabbi Shraga Simmons in his article “Guard Your Eyes” states: Western

society places heavy emphasis on the visual. If it looks good, it must be good. The media bombards us with so many visual images, that we are often unaware of its effect. But be assured, it is luring us deeper and deeper into non-spiritual pursuits.

When we see these images, and fantasize how wonderful life could be "if I only had product X," we are deluding ourselves into thinking that materialism will satisfy our deepest desires. That is a violation of "Don't stray after your eyes."  

And, this of course, relates to other images that are contrary to our values.

 Every human being has a unique soul, evident nowhere more than the eyes: While fingerprints have 40 unique characteristics, the iris has 256!

Eyes convey a unique sense of warmth and emotion, the "window to the soul.'¹⁹ Looking deeply into another's eyes produces bonding, unity and connection. That's why dishonest people tend to avoid eye contact – for fear of being "exposed." And when two people agree, they see "eye to eye.

Our spiritual health depends on controlling our eyes and using them for positive purposes only. One hundred years ago, the saintly Chafetz Chaim raised awareness for the imperative to "guard your tongue."Today, with the explosion of digital images (and Virtual Reality coming soon), the time is ripe to strengthen the constant commitment to "guard your eyes."

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade; Students finished up their Organization Unit.

Seventh Grade:  Students focused on how positive perspective- seeing the world through rose colored glasses can help one cope with adversity.

Eighth Grade: Students discussed the pressures of cheating as the stakes get more serious in high school.