Back To The Future

Each year, one of our first Advisory activities that we do with the 8th graders is visit the website futureme.org.  Futureme.org is a website designed so that you can write yourself a letter to be delivered at sometime in the future.  We ask our 8th graders to set goals for themselves for the year, and then they write a letter to themselves which will be delivered to their e-mail on graduation day. They can then see, did they achieve the goals they set for themselves? (Of course, they first learn that their goals need to be SMART, as all goals they set in life- Specific and Savvy, Measurable and Meaningful, Attainable and Active, Reachable and Relevant, Timed and Trackable).

Interestingly enough, my daughter brought home an article from her class that referenced a research study that indicated the impact of “future me.”  (Who knew that “future me” was a real term?)  Hanna Perlberger, in her article “How Valuable Is It To LIve As If Every Day Were Your Last?”  recommends considering “future me” when choosing a course of action.

“As a technique for shaping present behavior, I think fast- forwarding 20, 30 or more years...is a powerful exercise.  When a upset intrudes into my life, for example, I ask myself whether this state of affairs will exist or matter [later in my] life.  Knowing that I probably won’t even remember something that’s bothering me now gives me the healthy perspective I need to make better choices about how to cope.

On the other hand, when I am struggling with a decision, I can also ask my future self whether I will someday regret that I didn’t make a certain choice. I visualize looking back on my life as having gone down either path, and I imagine how I will feel having lived with the consequences of each choice. Will I feel remorse or peace, sorrow or fulfillment?”

The research study regarding “future me” attempted to ascertain whether projecting oneself into the future can help one make better decisions for today.  College students were asked what they would do if they could not afford a computer, but were told by a friend that he knew where to get stolen computers.  Subjects were told to write letters to their “future self” before making a decision.  Some were asked to write letters to their future selves in three months and some wrote letters to their future selves in 20 years.  Interestingly enough, most who only projected themselves to three months were willing to take the stolen computers- they were unable to step out of their present selves to get a different perspective. Those who projected to their future selves 20 years later were able to use their wiser future perspective to choose the better choice- to not take the computers.  

Overall, the study did indicate that one’s “future self”  can be a trusted advisor when it comes to making decisions in life.  Clearly, writing a letter to one’s future self can have an impact.  In fact, other such research, has subjects look at virtual images of their future selves- so they can see themselves as aged-progressed images. Such subjects were more likely to save financially for the future.  Viewing such age-progressed photos impacted other choices as well.  There are those who recommend actually printing such a photo of yourself,  (there are apps that can age your image on the spot), and hang it up as a reminder of your future self to ensure good decision- making.

  As parents, teaching “future self thinking” to our children sends the essential messages to them that:

1.    If a decision does not have a long-term benefit then it may not worth doing.  This type of thinking takes the focus away from only the here and now. When I see that delicious cake and I decide to eat three pieces, I am only thinking of the here and now and not the long-term ramifications.  Future me reminds me of those ramifications to avoid impulsive decisions. It forces us to constantly evaluate our choices and not decide on a whim.   Who more than a teenager needs that guidance?

2.    It brings us to imagine our future selves and to consider whom we want to become.  Are you happy with your present self? Are you on the path to achieving your goals?  Constant self-improvement is part of considering ones future self.

We want to consider our “future selves” regularly, which will motivate us to make better choices in life, set goals and find ways to keep those goals. When we can imagine our future selves we can better make choices that will benefit those future selves.  As Melissa Dahl says in her article, “It’s Time To Get Acquainted With Your Future Self” “There is one person whose wants and needs you routinely ignore, opting instead to tend to your own immediate desires, and that person is future you. When it comes to making decisions that will have some effect on your long-term health or happiness — for example, whether or not to go to the gym today, in keeping with your New Year’s resolution — current you is always finding a new way to steal from future you. It’s time the two yous got better acquainted.”

            As we approach Yom Kippur, and each one of us is engaged in the Teshuva process, writing letters to our future selves could possibly be a Teshuva tool to help us become better people.  We know that one integral step of Teshuva is קבלה על העתיד -  the promise to not return to the action in the future.  Whom do I want to be in the coming year? More importantly, (and more impactfully, according to the research),  whom do I want to be in 20 years or 30 years?  What can I do now to change and become that person? Unlike Marty McFly in Back To The Future, we cannot travel to our future to see what it holds. But, we can imagine.  Perhaps send yourself  a letter at futureme.org,  and then see years later if you have achieved what you had imagined.

           

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade- Students began learning how to have productive discussions and the skills needed for such discussions.  (Please note that only half of our sixth graders have begun Advisory, as our Tuesday groups have not yet met).

Seventh Grade: While our girls began Advisory last week, our boys will have their first session this coming week. They will be introduced to the theme of the 7th grade Advisory curriculum “Prepare Yourself To Change The World” through focusing on the fact that kids can in fact make a difference and the importance of self- change and working on self- improvement.

Eighth Grade:  While only a few of our groups had Advisory the first week, this past week, the rest began as well. Students began with real-life interviews of Yavneh graduates discussing what the 8th grade year is like.  These interviews launched the topics of the  first half their Advisory year. Students also played a getting to know you game to learn more about their fellow advisees and adviser- Mrs. Rubin.