“...we
conducted a critical experiment; one which would ultimately provide us with
greater insight into our social and behavioral state of health. For seven
weeks our beautiful scenic campus functioned as a laboratory...What if we
eliminated screens altogether?... all screen devices were collected...And then
we waited. And waited. And waited.
Almost instantaneously, something remarkable occurred and continued
throughout the weeks that followed. The participants in this grand experiment
seemed to display a genuine sense of freedom. Rather than rebel, they seemed
noticeably at ease, as they were suddenly released from the digital shackles
that often hold us captive.”
These
are not the words from a research study in a university or a segment from a
scientific journal recording a grand social psychology experiment. These are
the words of Rabbi Larry Rothwachs in his article “Surviving And Thriving
Without Screens” as he reports the results of the new technology policy in Camp
Morasha over the summer, where he is the camp rabbi. Rabbi Rothwachs describes how while they
were worried about the “fallout” and reactions of the technology withdrawal and
what the children would do to unwind at night, during a rainy day or even a
fast day, they were ready to attempt the new policy. And, then, as Rabbi Rothwachs notes, they
interacted with each other, “in ways that, not all that long ago, were
considered normal human behaviors. They sat around, at times for long periods
at end, and looked up and forward, rather than down and away… But, most
importantly, they looked at each other. Not a passing glance here and
there; they really looked at each other. They spoke with one another and
interacted with nature and with the world around them, without the constant distraction
of chirps, buzzes, beeps and the powerful allure of those glaring screens that
so often hijack our attention.”
Rabbi Rothwachs’ words truly made me think. No wonder his
workshop to our parents last year iParent: A
Roadmap for Raising Children in the Digital Era was so well-received, and spurred on a desire among the
parents to create unified shut-off times for their children.
(As a reminder, here is a link to the text of the e-mail that came from the YPAA presidents
regarding this important endeavor).
As I reread Rabbi Rothwachs’ article after Shabbat last
night, I considered that what those Morasha campers were experiencing was taking
what has begun to be commonly known, even among non- Jews, a “tech Sabbath.”
I first came across this term when I saw a link to a video by Tiffany Shalin on Technology Shabbat. She describes an entire movement to choose one day to
disconnect from technology and reconnect with the people in our lives. It
is an opportunity to stop “phubbing,” or snubbing
a person in favor of your phone. G-d was the first initiator of a Shabbat
where He stopped creating and rested. G-d even paused at the end of each
day to take the time to look around and say כי טוב- it
was good. So too when we take a Tech Shabbat we mimic G-d and stop to
enjoy and appreciate all that we have created throughout the hectic week. It
provides us with the opportunity to rejuvenate, recharge and rewire our
frazzled brains. We, religious Jews, are lucky enough to have this day
built into our halachic system. But,
perhaps our teens need extended Tech Sabbaths, which Morasha did for their
campers.
A recent Common Sense
Media (a wonderful resource for parents!) survey reported that teenagers say
they prefer texting to talking to friends in person. About 89% of teens have a smartphone,
versus only 41 % in 2012. 50% of
teens say they are addicted to their phones.
78% feel the need to
immediately respond to texts and other communications. The majority of those
surveyed said that their technology wakes them at night and distracts them from
homework. This information is not at all surprising.
Those
of us who parent middle schoolers know about this constant “obsession” or even
“addiction” when it comes to our children’s devices. Parenting in this
digital age has often been a topic of my weekly blog (just last year, three
times -feel free to go back and read
December 9- Parents Unite! Don’t Miss Our December 11th
Workshop...Really!, December 30- FOMO, Posting, and Teen Loneliness,
January 6- Cellphone Addiction and Teens). We, as
parents and Yavneh faculty, are constantly rethinking and reconsidering how to
support and strengthen our children in this area. I often share the story
of the family who with relief shared that their son’s cellphone fell into a
lake while hiking. Instead of being upset about the wasted money, they were
relieved that there would no longer be any temptations for him and battles
between them during homework time. (And, yes, there were no immediate plans for
the parents to replace that phone). In meeting after meeting with parents
of struggling students, it comes to light that the phone is a constant
distraction. And, research does indicate that cellphones impact on the child’s
ability to learn even if they are not using their devices, but they are just
sitting next to them.
As Chris Anderson,
in his article “A Dark Consensus About Screens and Kids Begins to Emerge in
Silicon Valley” writes that it is getting to the point where it is almost
beyond the ability of parents to control as it is “going straight to the
pleasure centers of the developing brain.” Of course, there is the
emotional impact of device usages on the middle schooler, as I quoted research
last year in one of my blogs, that
eighth-graders who spend 10 or more hours a week on social media are 56 percent
more likely to say they’re unhappy than those who devote less time to social
media.
Again, all of this is
not new information. What is new that we are ready to do something about it.
Last year, as you recall, our Parent Digital Safety committee developed
suggested guidelines for device usage at home to add strength to this effort
with the development of community norms and standards. Click
here for guidelines
More importantly, just
this past week, we all received the joint statement on device usage from the
Bergen county elementary school heads of school. As parents we are grateful
to these administrators for boldly uniting and creating this statement. It is
clear that we are all struggling with the same issues and need to support each
other. Thank you!!
Now, that we have these guidelines from the parent
committee and the heads of school...something is still holding us back. What
more can we do? That is the purpose of this coming Wednesday
Septemeber 11th’s parent workshop by Janell Burley Hofman at 8:00 pm, for
all parents of children grades prek-8. Ms. Hofman’s reputation precedes
her and we have heard from other schools how her presentations are truly
life-changing. We had the chance to meet with her to outline our expectations
and her recommendations for the presentation. We were already wowed and we know
you will be too. But, most importantly, Ms. Hofman has a good handle on what
teens are thinking and what works for them. Her presentation is realistic
and keeps the feelings, needs and developmental stage of our middle schoolers
in mind.
Here is a glimpse of what she can teach us about our
middle schoolers from her article “The 15 Most Popular Tech Truths From My
Conversations With Middle School Students.” This is just a taste of how Ms.
Hofman just “gets it.” Please do make every effort to attend the
workshop, and please fill out the short questionnaire in the RSVP e-mail so
your needs and issues can be addressed that evening. Looking forward to seeing
you there!
The 15 Most Popular
Tech Truths From My Conversations with Middle School Students
Janell Burley Hofmann,
May 13, 2015 journal
Have you ever wondered
what middle schoolers have to say about technology? Have you wanted access to
their thoughts and feelings and beliefs around the device culture? Do you want
to talk to your middle schooler about technology, but aren’t sure where to begin?
Well, I’ve been taking notes just for you! After a full year of travel
all over the world talking to kids, tweens, teens, parents, teachers, policy
makers, techies, and organizations, I have learned so much. As I begin to break
down all of my interactions and process everything I have been taught, I feel
the urge to share some of the voices I have gathered along the way. Of course,
we talked about so much more, but these are the topics that have come up in my
conversations with middle schoolers the most.
- I follow
people I don’t know online and they follow me too – even though my
accounts are private – I accept them. I don’t know if that’s ok.
2.
I feel like I always have to respond to my friends immediately or
they’ll get mad at me.
3.
My phone was broken (taken away, lost) and at first it was hard
not to have it, but then it got easy and it felt really good not to be attached
to it.
4.
On my social networks or on my YouTube Channel, I often get
negative comments, swears and sometimes threat. I don’t know if they are people
joking or just being mean, but I still want as many followers as possible.
5.
I see and hear kids younger than me doing way worse stuff online,
so I feel like what I do isn’t so bad when I see those kids.
6.
My parents overshare pictures and stories about me online and it
makes me uncomfortable.
7.
My classmate secretly takes pictures/videos during class and the
teacher doesn’t know, but I want it to stop.
8.
Sometimes it’s hard to concentrate because all I want to do is
game.
9.
My parents are addicted to their phones.
10.
I’m always trying to help my friends solve their problems, but I
end up getting too involved in all of the drama online.
11.
I’m afraid if I don’t have my phone/device/account, that I’m going
to miss something or not know what’s happening with my friends.
12.
It’s hard to know what’s real online. Sometimes I think I’m
following one thing and then a bunch of inappropriate pictures or comments show
up.
13.
I have seen something online I wished I didn’t see.
14.
My parents aren’t that easy to talk to and so it’s hard to go to
them with a problem. I’d rather figure it out myself or with my friends.
15.
I like to be creative online and I wish that didn’t count as
screen time.
____________________________________________________________
Advisory Update:
Sixth
Grade: Students learned about the goals of Advisory
and got to know each other through a puzzle making activity. (Please
note: Half of our students did not yet
have Advisory and will be having it on Tuesday for the first time).
Seventh
Grade: Students were introduced to the theme of the
7th grade Advisory curriculum “Prepare Yourself To Change The World” through
focusing on the fact that kids can in fact make a difference and the importance
of self- change and working on self- improvement. (Please note: Only the girls
have had Advisory. The boys will have their first session this coming Monday)
Eighth
Grade: Students began with real-life interviews
of Yavneh graduates discussing what the 8th grade year is like. These
interviews launched the topics of the first half of their Advisory year.
Students also played a getting to know you game to learn more about their
fellow advisees and Advisor- Mrs. Rubin.
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