Welcome back to school and my weekly column! After a summer hiatus my weekly blog has returned. For those who are new to our Middle School, each week I write a blog through which I have the opportunity to highlight some insights from either events at school, from the Torah or from the world around us as they relate to parenting teens. I look forward to a year of connecting with you through this column. (And, I always enjoy feedback!)
We have been anticipating this past week for some time now. We, as faculty, have spent weeks and weeks preparing for your children. While you are not presently able to enter the building to see the school in action, we can reassure you that the children were overall excited to come back and have jumped in ready to go.
The Midrash Mechilta 19:5 states the famous, שכל התחלות קשות, “All beginnings are difficult.” Each new year brings with it a new transition and change is never easy. This year brought with it so many more changes, and we therefore held our breaths wondering how the start of this year would be.
The root of the word קשה - difficult- can also be found in the word קושיה -question. When we anticipate that things might be difficult, that is when we question, challenge and confront. And, that is exactly what we did here at Yavneh. Weeks and weeks of meetings, and question after question, allowed us to design a re-entry to school that would be supportive, safe and even exciting for your children. We were going to question, challenge and confront the COVID-19 return to school head-on. In this week’s column, I want to provide you with a sneak peek of what we did with the teachers and your children to do so.
One essential component of this preparation was the week we spent before the children arrived getting our teachers ready. We had sessions with psychologist Dr. Alex Alperin, a professor at Rutger University, on understanding the strain and stress our children have gone through these past months, what to look for when they return and how to support them through this transition time. We also had a session where teachers had the opportunity to reflect on what they themselves have gone through. I asked them to assess and evaluate how they are feeling. What were the professional or personal challenges they have faced these past months and how were they overcome? What is something positive that they have learned or gained these past months? What can they take from this experience that they can apply to their a. classroom and b. life? What kind of supports do they think they could use or need this coming year? In essence, we were checking in on the teachers in the same way we want them to check in on their students.
The first few days of your children’s return were spent on providing our students with a positive transition back to school. Positive is the key! Our goal was not to dwell on the difficulties, but rather to reflect on the strength that we gained during this time. Each class experienced a fun outdoor Amazing Race activity, and an Orientation focusing on answering all their questions about how school would be this year. They then each had an Advisory session where they reflected on a. How difficult these months have been ( although this was not our main focus- as noted above!!) b. How brave and resilient they have been and how they have faced challenges and stayed strong. c.How we all have worries about returning to school- we are not alone. d. How we can face any challenges the future might bring and together we can support each other.
The session began with a trailer from a Marvel movie and a discussion about what is a superhero? We then projected a slide of superheroes along with medical practitioners wearing masks which stated “superheroes wear masks.”
What is the definition of a superhero now? Has their definition changed? We then projected a slide with a boy with a mask along with superheroes which also said “superheroes wear masks.”
Who is identified as a superhero here? Has their definition changed? We discussed how “kids” can be superheroes or heroes too. They have been heroes the past number of months. We asked them to identify how they have been heroes- what made them heroic? Some ideas of how they were heroes that were discussed were:
A. Going through a tough time and withstanding it.
B. Being brave- things were scary and yet they did not give up
C. Sacrificing things for others- to keep others safe too, i.e. mask wearing
D. Strength of character- staying strong when things were difficult. We had to sacrifice so much- we missed out on bar mitzvahs, graduations, missing our grandparents, missed school or even camp, but we were resilient. We knew we could do it and we did.
We then led the students in a discussion based on a series of questions. To facilitate these discussions we had created an interview video featuring student council members and middle school administrators sharing their answers to the questions, serving as a trigger to the class discussion. These are the questions we discussed:
Question #1- What is the best part about coming back to school?
Question #2- What did you miss about school while you were away?
Question #3- What is something POSITIVE that came out of these past months?
Question #4- What have you learned about yourself and how have you grown these past months?
Question #5- What was a challenge you faced the past months and how did you overcome it?
Question #6- What makes you most nervous about coming back to school?
Question #7: What has helped you reduce stress or worries in the past months?
Question #8- How can you help others during this time?
Question #9- What do you think others can do for you to support you this year?
Question #10- How can you turn to Hashem to support you?
Students discussed issues like being excited to see their friends in person, not being as bored, having structure and a schedule. They said they had missed seeing their teachers in person and the fun activities in school. While they were home they did find that they spent more time with their family and had more free time. While spending time with family was wonderful most of the time, some noted that there were times that they felt it was too much family time! Most students learned about themselves that they are less distracted in school as there were so many distractions at home. Some actually learned that it was easier for them to focus on zoom as their friends were not around. They learned they need to separate more from their friends in class! Students learned how to organize their schedule and provide structure for themselves, even when there was so much free time. They shared that while they were relieved to return to school they were worried about the unknowns and how things might change this year, and how long it would take to get used to a regular day.
The students were insightful, supportive of each other and most importantly happy to be back! The focus of the session was “Hooray! We are back and we can do this!”
The words כל התחלות קשות appear in a midrash right before Bnai Yisrael are about to get the Torah. Rashi in Shemot 19:5 on the words וְעַתָּ֗ה אִם־שָׁמ֤וֹעַ תִּשְׁמְעוּ֙ בְּקֹלִ֔י And now, if you obey Me and keep My covenant, quotes that Mechilta and says
ועתה: אם עתה תקבלו עליכם יערב לכם מכאן ואילך, שכל התחלות קשות
And now: If now you accept upon yourselves [the yoke of the commandments], it will be pleasant for you in the future, since all beginnings are difficult.
While keeping the mitzvot will not be easy, the sooner they start and the more they perform the mitzvot, the easier it will become and it will even become pleasant! They will enjoy performing mitzvot. For the Jews it was the change that made it difficult for them. It was going from a lifestyle with which they were familiar to the unknown. They even at times yearned for the days in Egypt- which were in actuality terrible for them. But, the known and the familiar is always more comfortable. Beginnings and change can be hard, but if we do one mitzvah, says the midrash, “If a man listens to (keeps) one mitzvah, he is caused to keep to many mitzvot.” The first step is the hard one. Every change and new beginning has some inherent risk. But, once one takes that first step, the steps that follow are easier and even eventually wonderful.
(While I am applying this message to our start of the school year, this is a beautiful thought to contemplate as we approach Rosh Hashana and the Teshuva process. Self-change is also difficult to begin... but most definitely worth the effort. And, as we know, it says in Shabbat 104a בָּא לִיטָּהֵר — מְסַיְּיעִים אוֹתוֹ- However, if he comes in order to become purified, they, in Heaven, assist him. Once you initiate, G-d will help you).
As we approached our new beginning of school this week, which carried with it much change, and took that difficult first step, I hope that our students got the message that “We can do this! We can face this challenge together one step at a time!” We hope they know that we, the adults in their lives, are here for them along with their peers. And, more importantly, while some things have changed, the things we love most about coming to Yavneh each day have stayed the same.
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