The Maccabees were few in number and their chances of winning were slim. Yet, they did not give up and persevered and thereby רבים ביד מעטים- the many fell in the hands of the few against all odds. They then arrived in the Beit HaMikdash and again were devastated. All the oil seems to have been tainted by the enemy. Alas, another miracle! They found one flask of oil enough for one mere day, again against all odds. They saw how there is only enough oil left for one day. It will take a week to make more oil. And, then again, against all odds, it lasted for eight days.
I can imagine the conversations among them. “Why even try? There is no way we will win against the mighty Greeks!” “We can do it- let’s not give up! Stay hopeful! Believe!” And, then, “Why are we even wasting our time looking for a pure flask of oil? They are all tainted!” “We can do it- let’s not give up hope! Believe!” And, then “Why are we bothering to light the menorah? It will only last for one day!” “Let us at least try. Miracles do happen! Stay hopeful. Believe!”
Chanukah is the holiday of resiliency- the ability to bounce back from difficulties and persist. This past week, as I have mentioned in past years in this column, we began a unit in our 7th grade Advisory called “When Life Gives You Lemons- Coping with Adversity in Life.” We begin with a quiz. Who is this? “He ran for political office seven times and was defeated each time.” .... Abraham Lincoln. “His first children’s book was rejected by 23 publishers.”.... Dr. Seuss. “ As a baseball player, he struck out more than any player in the history of baseball: 1,330 times.”... Babe Ruth. Why were these famous people able to continue despite failure and rejection? What was their secret? Why do others quit the moment they face tough times?
We demonstrate to the students that it is the difference between an egg and a super ball. The Advisor then takes a ball and bounces it into a container. She points out that the harder you bounce it the quicker it bounces back. Then she takes the egg and throws it into the container. It shatters. An egg- the harder you throw it, the quicker it shatters. There are two types of people in life. Some are raw egg people- who shatter when faced with an obstacle. Then there are super ball people. When they face an obstacle they bounce back. The people above- Lincoln, Dr. Seuss etc. with every failure they bounced back.
We then speak about the story of Jim Marshall, a former defensive player for the Minnesota Vikings. In a game against the San Francisco 49ers, Marshall spotted the football on the ground. He scooped it up and ran for a touchdown as the crowd cheered. But he ran the wrong way. He scored for the wrong team and on national television! It was the most devastating moment of his life. The shame was overpowering. But during halftime, he thought, “If you make a mistake, you got to make it right. I realized I had a choice. I could sit in my misery or I could do something about it.” Pulling himself together for the second half, he played some of his best football ever and contributed to his team's victory.” Dr. Carole Dweck speaks about Jim Marshall’s triumph in her book Mindset. We discuss with the students that after a setback you can be either bitter or better. The only difference between those two words is the “I”- I have the choice to grow or sink under hardship.
Lazer Gurkow in this article “Despite the Odds” highlights the insurmountable military challenge the Maccabees faced when fighting the Greeks. He adds an additional challenge: If this were not intimidating enough, consider the internal threat. A huge number of Jews had Hellenized—assimilated into the Syrian Greek culture. They rejected the laws and rituals as ancient relics, superfluous to an enlightened people. They viewed those who clung to religion as backwards, a cancer to be excised. They would do everything in their power, including fighting their own brethren, to ensure stability and the continuity of their lifestyle.”
Not only were they facing the external threat, but also their own internal threat. We are often our own worst enemies. At times it is our peers or friends that discourage us. At times we ourselves have an internal self-talk (which we discuss in Advisory) which discourages us from dusting ourselves off and trying again. “Yet, the Jewish warriors rejected this script and drew on the resilience of their soul,” says Gurkow. Resilience. Here, he maintains, they gained that resiliency from their souls- from their Emunah and belief in G-d’s salvation. (We too have discussed the power of emunah in helping our children persist through difficulty).
In essence the Maccabees were believers, and they were clearly optimists. They had the ability to see the cup half full and not half empty. We also call this in Advisory the ability to see the world through “rose-colored glasses” instead of dark glasses. While our students this year have not gotten to this exercise yet (so don’t spoil it for them!) we plan to apply this exercise to the covid experience they are going through this year. The example I will give them relates to losing power at your house during a hurricane:
During the hurricane, suddenly your power went off in your home.
Rose colored glasses perspective:
“It was so much fun when the power went off in my house during the hurricane. We all got to sleep in the same room and my father didn’t have to go to work. We stayed up late telling ghost stories- it was like one big campfire! We stayed up all night playing games and having fun by flashlight. I will never forget that night!”
Dark colored glasses perspective:
“It was the worst night of my life. There was no power so we all had to squish into one room. And, all I really wanted to do was to go to sleep in my own room, but my siblings were playing and making so much noise! It’s so boring with no TV to watch, and I knew my teacher would be angry at me for not doing my homework. I wish we had a generator!”
We will then ask them to do a similar activity with a covid situation.
Gurkow focuses on the a message that stems from Chanukah that we can hold onto during these difficult times we are in now and during any times of challenge:
The miracle of Chanukah was not just that the light lasted for eight days; that is a rather small miracle for G‑d. If He could split the Reed Sea, He could refill an oil jar. The miracle is that human beings, fallible and imperfect, overcame their doubts and found a new script. They rejected the odds and charted a new future. They refused to live in darkness and found their internal light.
The miracle of the eight-day light is merely an expression of the miracle wrought by the Maccabees. G‑d wanted the world to know what the Maccabees had achieved and made it a clarion call for generations. Don’t accept the script of darkness no matter the odds. You have a light inside you that refuses to be extinguished, and that one little light can banish a great deal of darkness.
When you kindle the Chanukah lights this year, stop and think about resilience and endurance.
When we focus on the light within we can persevere. What is that light? (All of which we cover in Advisory)
Positive “self-talk”- encouraging messages we tell ourselves, similar to what we would tell a friend who is struggling.
Grit- holding fast to a goal despite failure.
Upbeating thinking- seeing the cup half full.
Resisting negative thoughts- i.e. I am a terrible student! Nobody likes me because I am not “cool” enough.
Positive coping statements- before, during and after stressful situations encouraging oneself with statements like “It’s going to be okay.” “I can handle this.”
Mindful self-compassion- being aware of what you are going through without judgment and then having the ability to comfort, self-soothe and encourage ourselves when we suffer or fail.
Affirmations- statements that we make about ourselves that we affirm and say over and over until we believe them.
Emunah- trust in G-d and belief that what is happening is good for us.
Chava Shapiro, in her article “The Opportunity in Adversity” agrees and states “The miracle of the oil teaches us a critical life lesson: how to find light in the midst of what seems like utter chaos and darkness.” Shapiro continues that adversity can be viewed simply as an obstacle to overcome or part of life from which we emerge better, stronger and wiser. After facing a challenge we understand ourselves better and are better. We need to remember the little oil within us that we can set aflame when we are ready.
Chana Weisberg in “Eight Chanukah Lessons That Teach an Enlightening Perspective on Life” focuses on another lesson regarding facing difficulty that we glean from the oil lasting for 8 days. “Don’t fight darkness; enlighten it by shining the light of truth and purpose. Don’t dwell on negativity or failures; instead, focus on positive change.”
Sarah Chana Radcliffe in her article just this week “Lighten Up: You can bring light into your home by toning down the negativity” reiterates the importance of shining that light instead of focusing on negativity. Through constant criticism, lecturing, nagging and complaining we introduce darkness into our homes. We focus on the negative and do not equally focus on the positive. We need to work more on finding the good, judging all for the good and focusing more on the blessings in our lives.
In the article following Radcliffe’s article, various authors wrote personal stories they call “The Last Flask”- “They were a tiny band of brave warriors who had defeated the powerful Greek army. And now, they wanted to renew the service in the Beit HaMikdash, to kindle the menorah that would light up the world. But the oil they needed was desecrated, dribbling from shattered vessels, unsealed and contaminated. And then they found it- the last flask, the small bottle that would enable them to start anew. 12 writers share the last flask that lit up their own lives…” We all have those difficult times and those “last flasks” that we can find deep within ourselves.
Let us encourage our children to look for that last flask within them, even when they feel that all is lost. We raise them with the encouragement that they can do it despite the challenges they face.
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade: Students discussed bar/bat mitzvah etiquette and appropriate behavior at a simcha.
Seventh Grade: Our students began the new unit mentioned above in this column “When Life Gives You Lemons” and focused on what contributes to resiliency.
Eighth Grade: Students did a “quality circle” on the topic of cyberexclusion and how it impacts others when we post photos of get-togethers to which they were not invited. How are we doing here at Yavneh in this area?
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