I happen to be the number one Ishay Ribo fan. (No exaggeration!) For those of you who haven’t heard of Ishay Ribo he is an Israeli singer who has taken the Jewish music world by storm, as he has inspired both the secular and Charedi communities with his Jewish inspirational lyrics set to a “modern” music style.
When listening to Ishay Ribo on Spotify you inevitably bump into musicians who either sing with him or have a similar musical style. I came across a song by Omer Adam, who is not religious, but will not perform on Shabbat. When I found his song Modeh Ani, I could relate to its lyrics and decided to bring it into my Navi/Beur Tefillah class that I teach the 8th grade girls.
In the class I periodically try to connect what we are learning in Navi (Melachim 1) to something in davening. We had been learning about Dovid HaMelech at the end of his life and were considering how difficult Dovid’s life was. From King Shaul trying to kill him, to the rebellion of his son Avshalom...the list goes on and on. We discussed how Dovid was able to turn to Hashem, as he was known as נעים זמירות ישראל- The sweet singer of Israel, as he composed Tehillim. How was he able to trust in Hashem despite all that was going on around him?
We then took a moment to look at the Tefillah we say each morning Modeh Ani. For what are we thankful? What if we are going through tough times, are we still thankful?
We then looked at the lyrics of Omer Adam’s song (here they are in English, and here is a link to the song if you’d like to listen).
מודה אני
Omer Adam
I offer thanks to you each morning
For restoring my soul to me
Thank you for the life that covers me
Warms me like a flame
That protects me from the cold
You're there 1 and believe in me
I offer thanks each morning
For the present moment and for the light
Thank you for the generous pale gold 2
You have placed on my table
To feed my children
You protect, you are great
For my joys and my smiles
I thank you
For my talents
And for my songs
They are all for you
Know that, know that
I thank you my king
I cry to you, my G-d, oh my G-d 4
To you I call
To you, my life
To you, my heart 5
I thank you
To you I call 6
To you I call
I offer thanks each morning
For the love of my father, of my mother
Thank you for the rain that waters the trees
Of my fields, for being the guardian 7
Of our lives of our destinies
For the day of rest 8
I thank you
For the success, for being here
For being happy sometimes
Know that, know that
I thank you, my G-d
I cry to you, my G-d, oh my G-d
To you I call
To you, my life
To you, my heart
I thank you
To you I call
To you I call
Come, let us sing joyously to the Lord
Raise a shout for our Rock and deliverer
Let us come into His presence with praise
let us raise a shout for Him in song9
For all my failures
I thank you
For all my sorrows
The obstacles too
It's all for my own good
In my heart I know it
I thank you
I cry to you, my G-d, oh my G-d
To you I call
To you, my life
To you, my heart
I thank you
To you I call
To you I call
We spoke about the paragraph I bolded towards the bottom of the song.
על כל כישלונותיי מודה אני
על אכזבותיי פחדיי ומכשוליי
הם כולם לטובתי
אין אחר בליבי רק לך מודה אני
For all my failures
I thank you
For all my sorrows, my fears
The obstacles too
They are all for my own good
There is not another in my heart, only to You
I thank you
Why do we thank Hashem for our failures, sorrows, fears and obstacles? They were not at all pleasant nor am I grateful for them?!? Because “they are all for my own good.” I then asked them to look back at earlier in the song at a paragraph above where he thanks Hashem על כל כשרונותי- for all my talents and his music. I pointed out the girls how the words כל כישרונותי- all my talents sound very similar to - כל כשלונותי - all my failures (and we thank Hashem for both). When I asked why he used some similar language, a student stated (go Daphna!) because we often learn from our experience of failure which leads to our talents and progress. Often our failures are for our own good. And, therefore, we need to thank Hashem for those as well.
As Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” We need to learn from our failures and see them as valuable learning experiences rather than using them as excuses to quit. Failure is a part of the process to success. F.A.I.L.- first attempt in learning.
As we leave Thanksgiving we need to be thankful for our failures and difficulties as well. That is what having a growth mindset is all about. Growth mindset, a term developed by Dr. Carol Dweck, is when a person believes that hard work, perseverance and learning from mistakes gives him the ability to learn, grow and gain skills. Often, people have a fixed mindset where they believe that intelligence is innate and unchangeable. Children with a fixed mindset see failure as permanent and are less likely to persist in the face of challenge. Children with growth mindsets believe that through practice and effort they can gain skills. Failure is actually seen as a chance to learn and they embrace challenges. In fact, studies show that children with growth mindsets show a greater brain response than those with a fixed mindset and they consequently improve their performance.
How can we teach our children to be thankful for failure? In “7 Ways To Teach Kids Failure Is A Great Thing” Rebecca Louick suggests some strategies.
Step 1- Focus on a Growth Mindset. Talk about how failure helps you grow!
Step 2- Allow our children to fail. Often we want to run in and save them and prevent failure, forgetting that failure is good for them.
Step 3- Celebrate failure! Louick speaks about encouraging kids to brag about their mistakes. She even suggests something called “Failure Fridays” - one day a week when you read about someone who failed. Highlight their failures and even give them a high five!
Step 4- Speak to them about “The Learning Pit” which is when we are in the pit of uncertainty and that helps us learn. I think this photo says it all.
Step 5- Explain the brain science of how failure actually helps them grow their brains. And, the harder something is to learn, the longer it stays in their brains.
Step 6- Speak about “Failing Forward”- learning from their errors. After they fail (of course after being compassionate) ask them “What did you learn from this?” “What would you do differently next time?”
Step 7- Help them be mindful when confronting failure, and recognize and accept their feelings. Michelle McDonald’s RAIN technique for mindfulness is helpful for our children to employ when facing failure:
R-Recognize what is happening (“What is happening in this moment? How am I feeling?” “Where do I feel it in my body?”)
Example: “I’m so mad at myself for failing my spelling test. I want to cry.”
A-Allow life to be just as it is (“I can let the thoughts or feelings just be here. Even if I don’t like it.”)
Example: “I am mad and I feel like crying. It’s uncomfortable but I can allow myself to feel this way.”
I-Investigate with kindness (“Why do I feel this way?” “Is it really true?”)
Example: “I notice I’m also a little disappointed in myself too, not just mad. I’m wondering why? Maybe it’s because I think I could have studied more.”
N-Non-Identification (“I am having a thought or emotion, but I am not that thought or emotion.”)
Example: “I can have angry and disappointed feelings without being those feelings. I am bigger than how I feel at this moment.”
I once read somewhere- how many of us recall when the first dedication of the Beit HaMikdash took place? Not too many. (It happens in Melachim 1 8:2, so hopefully my students remember it was on Sukkot during the time of Shlomo HaMelech!) . But, everyone remembers when the Beit HaMikdash was rededicated- during the time of Chanukah. Chanukah is the holiday of rededication. Despite failure, or challenges, we wipe ourselves off and try again. We all fail at some time in our lives, and Chanukah is the chag of rededication and resiliency. And, even the miracle of the oil is a lesson in how to cope with failure. The maccabees could have said, “Only one small jug- it will never even last beyond a day- why even bother?!?” In the face of failure they decided to not give up. After all, it is all from Hashem, for our benefit, and He is there for us.
Thanksgiving leading right into Chanukah reinforces the importance of being thankful for failure, recognizing that it is all from Hashem and for the good.
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade: Students discussed Bar/ Bat Mitzvah behavior and how to support the baal simcha.
Seventh Grade: Students learned the steps of empathy.
Eighth Grade: Students discussed being thankful and how it relates to what experienced during Covid.
No comments:
Post a Comment