As I sat down to write this week’s column I came across the weekly magazine that arrived on Shabbat, The Week. The front cover had a photo of a young teenage girl curled into a ball with her head in her lap with the headline “An epidemic of anguish- Why depression and despair are soaring among teen girls.” While I had a heavy load of work to do, I couldn’t help but sit and open to page 6 of the magazine.
The article continued that a CDC report was released last week which surveyed more than 17,000 teens. 42% said they experienced consistent feelings of “sadness and hopelessness.” (A significant rise from the last time they did this survey in 2011). The numbers were worse with girls. While only 29% of boys reported feeling this way, over 57% of girls reported being in “persistent despair.”
Why? What has changed? “The CDC offered no definitive answers, but consider what has happened over the past decade. Instagram was released in late 2010. Snapchat in 2011. TikTok in 2016. Soon thereafter, 90 percent of teen girls reported using social media every day. These apps- which put a premium on selfies and videos- create more social comparison, social pressure, and negative peer interactions with teens measuring their self-worth or lack of it- in likes and followers.” (If one looks carefully at the magazine cover, there is a cellphone on the ground next to the girl).
Other contributing factors are, before social media teens hung out at least two hours a day with friends. Now there is less in-person socializing, less sleep and children “are drowning in social comparisons.”
Interestingly enough, even before I read this article, this topic came up in my class with 7th grade girls this week. We were discussing issues that affect body image. Social media is one such issue. We read an article together by Common Sense Media “How Girls Are Seeking (and Subverting) Approval Online.”
A Common Sense survey called Children, Teens, Media, and Body Image found that many teens who are active online fret about how they're perceived, and that girls are particularly vulnerable:
35 percent are worried about people tagging them in unattractive photos.
27 percent feel stressed about how they look in posted photos.
22 percent felt bad about themselves if their photos were ignored.
What can we as parents do to combat this impact?
We need to speak with our teens about the photos they post. Are we posting just to see what everyone else thinks? Are we posing in a certain way to get approval?
Discuss how do the comments of others or “likes” make them feel?
Stress that they should post positive and encouraging comments to support their friends “for who they are and not what they look like.”
As we raise them, help them develop a healthy self- image and body image.
View media critically with them. Discuss when there are damaging images that they are seeing in the media.
Rabbi Efrem Goldberg, in his article “Social Media and Mental Health” wrote in 2022,
Experts say technology and social media are the culprit. Last year, researchers at Instagram itself published disturbing findings. “Thirty-two percent of teen girls said that when they felt bad about their bodies, Instagram made them feel worse…They often feel ‘addicted’ and know that what they’re seeing is bad for their mental health but feel unable to stop themselves.”
Facebook, which owns Instagram, also investigated the app’s effects on its users, and found, “We make body image issues worse for one in three teen girls. Teens who struggle with mental health say Instagram makes it worse.”
Rabbi Goldberg adds a #6 that we can do as parents:
Are we being thoughtful and intentional with who we and our children choose to be “influenced” by, about what, and how often?
I imagine most of us parents didn’t need a front page headline in The Week to tell us something we didn’t already know. Now what?
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade: Students learned to apply the PACK system to their lockers.
Seventh Grade: Students discussed how to see the world with “rose colored glasses” and upbeat thinking.
Eighth Grade: Students did a “quality circle” where they discussing “bullying” in sports and what is competition versus bullying and whether they are seeing any of these issues among their friends.
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