As promised, my post- Super Bowl lesson column- which is actually a post- Super Bowl President’s Day lesson column.
This lesson is gleaned from an article by Greg Stegeman called “Five Life Lessons to Take From Super Bowl LIV.” That lesson is to never give up. With 7:23 remaining in the game, the 49ers had a 20-10 lead. And, yet the Chiefs won. You can always still win, so never quit as the tide can always turn. In fact, When the Chiefs were down according to ESPN’s Gamecase the 49ers had a 95.4% chance of winning. But in truth, it doesn’t matter if everyone watching the game thought the Chiefs were done. “The Chiefs didn’t think they were done.” Ignore what others think and persevere.
This message is quite fitting as our 7th graders are now in the process of their unit in Advisory “When Life Gives You Lemons…Make Lemonade- Bouncing Back From Difficulties In Life.”
In fact, one of the first activities we do with the students is present them with these real-life people who were tempted to give up. (And, it is only fitting that the first one is someone whose birthday we celebrate today- on President’s Day).
Below you will read statements about real people. As you read each one, I want you to guess whether that person was a success (write “S” on the line) or failure (write “F”). Your teacher will then tell you the truth after you have completed this exercise.
____ Politician: Ran for political office seven times and was defeated each time.
____ Cartoonist: All he wanted to do was to sketch cartoons. He applied with a Kansas City newspaper. The editor said, "It’s easy to see from these sketches that you have no talent." No studio would give him a job. He ended up doing publicity work for a church in an old, dilapidated garage.
____ Writer: His first children’s book was rejected by 23 publishers.
____ Inventor: In the first year of marketing his new soft drink, he sold only 400 bottles.
____ Athlete: As a baseball player, he struck out more than any player in the history of baseball: 1,330 times.
____ Politician: Flunked the sixth grade. As a sixteen-year-old in Paris, a teacher had written on his report card, "Shows a conspicuous lack of success." He wished to become a military leader, or a great statesman. As a student, he failed three times in his exams to enter the British Military Academy.
____ Athlete: He wasn’t able to speak until he was almost 4 years old and his teachers said: “He would never amount to much” He was was cut from a basketball team at the Emsley A. Laney High School. He was devastated from not being able to play, locked himself at home and cried for hours
The Answer Key:
Would you have given up on politics if you had been defeated 7 times in your run for political office? I’m glad that Abraham Lincoln didn’t give up. He was defeated for legislature, defeated for speaker, defeated for nomination to Congress, defeated for Senate, defeated for nomination to Vice Presidency, defeated again for Senate. Yet he hung in there and succeeded in becoming the 16th, and one of the most respected, presidents of the United States.
And what about the cartoonist whom no one would hire? The one who was told that he had no talent? The old garage he worked in was in such bad shape that it had mice. One day, he sketched one of those mice. Any guesses as to the name of that mouse? The mouse one day became famous as "Mickey Mouse." The artist, of course, was Walt Disney.
The writer whose children’s book was rejected by 23 publishers? Take a wild guess…. Dr. Seuss. By the way, the 24th publisher sold six million copies.
The soft drink that sold only 400 bottles its first year? Coca Cola.
The baseball player who held the strike-out record? He also held, for many years, the home run record. His name is Babe Ruth.
The student who showed a "conspicuous lack of success" on his report card? Who failed three times to enter the British Military Academy? Many of us would have given up after one rejection. But Winston Churchill stubbornly refused to accept defeat and became one of the greatest men of the 20th Century. Though he was rejected many times by the voters of Great Britain, he finally became the Prime Minister, standing between Hitler and the free world.
The athlete who was cut from the Varsity team his sophomore year? Angry and embarrassed, he began to get up early each morning to practice with the Junior Varsity coach. Eventually he not only made the Varsity team, but became the most popular athlete in the world: Michael Jordan.
We then discuss, what made all these people continue despite failure? Why do some other people quit the moment they face tough times? It’s the difference between an egg and a super ball. The teacher then takes the ball and bounces it into a container. Notice that the harder you bounce it the quicker it bounces back. Then he/she takes a raw egg and throws it into the bucket. With an egg- the harder you throw it, the quicker it shatters.
There are two types of people in life- Raw egg people- who shatter when faced with an obstacle. Then there are super ball people- when they face an obstacle they bounce back. The people above were super ball people. With every failure they bounced back.
What is their secret? Resiliency. We then show them a football related video of a player named Jim Marshall- a story I found in the book Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck. Jim Marshall, former defensive player for the Minnesota Vikings, relates what could easily have made him into a failure. In a game against the San Francisco 49ers, Marshall spotted the football on the ground. He scooped it up and ran for a touchdown as the crowd cheered. But he ran the wrong way. He scored for the wrong team and on national television. It was the most devastating moment of his life. The shame was overpowering. But during halftime, he thought, “If you make a mistake, you got to make it right. I realized I had a choice. I could sit in my misery or I could do something about it.” Pulling himself together for the second half, he played some of his best football ever and contributed to his team's victory.” The lesson learned:
After a setback you can be either bitter or better. The only difference between those two words is the “I”- I have the choice to grow or sink under hardship.
(We also show the students another football related video- about resiliency. It’s a number of years old but still timely).
Shlomo HaMelech wrote in Mishlei כִּ֤י שֶׁ֨בַע ׀ יִפּ֣וֹל צַדִּ֣יק וָקָ֑ם וּ֝רְשָׁעִ֗ים יִכָּשְׁל֥וּ בְרָעָֽה׃
Seven times the righteous man falls and gets up,
While the wicked are tripped by one misfortune.
Pachad Yitzchak, in his Iggerot U’Ketavim #128 notes that the meaning of this pasuk is not that even though the tzaddik falls he rises. Rather, it is “Because a tzaddik falls seven times, he will rise.”
Rabbi Benjamin Blech, in the article “The Blessing of Failure, 7 Steps to Building Spiritual Resistance” notes that in Judaism a great scholar is called a תלמיד חכם - not simply a חכם, but a “student of wisdom.” A תלמיד חכם is someone who learns from his/her experiences.
Failures are in actuality the key to our success. “If your failure inspires you to surpass yourself and do it better next time, if you understand that failure never fully defines you but is meant to motivate you to greatness—then you are an alumnus of the best school in the world, and your failure was the tuition you paid for your eventual success.”
As I have quoted before in my column, Dr. Wendy Mogel in her book, The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee, she stresses the importance of allowing our children to struggle and fail. If we overprotect them from feeling pain, they are also protected from growth. If they are insulated they are incapable of dealing with any adversity and become “teacups” that “chip like a teacup” when confronting difficulty.
In that same column I quoted the speech that Supreme Court Justice John Roberts gave at his son’s middle school graduation years ago. (Interestingly, he also quotes the importance of failing in sports!)
“From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.”
Emuna Braverman, commenting on his words noted “And that what he wants to communicate to these young kids, as they approach the rough passage of adolescence, is to embrace their challenges as opportunities for growth. Don’t shy away from them or feel oppressed or burdened. They are the true gifts from a loving Father just as his words are a gift to his son.”
And, so the message of the Super Bowl as demonstrated by the Chiefs is to never give up. Jim Marshall and the Giants also demonstrated that in football resiliency is needed for success on the field. And, today on Presidents Day we recall how Abraham Lincoln was defeated for legislature, defeated for speaker, defeated for nomination to Congress, defeated for Senate, defeated for nomination to Vice Presidency, defeated again for Senate. Yet, he hung in there and succeeded in becoming the 16th, and one of the most respected, Presidents of the United States.
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade: Students applied the PACK system to organizing their lockers.
Seventh Grade: Students learned about resiliency and how to apply it to their lives.
Eighth Grade: Students discussed honesty and trust.
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