I once heard that a Jewish scholar is called a תלמיד חכם /תלמידה חכמה- a student who is wise, not just a חכם/חכמה- a wise person. The reason for this nomenclature is because in Judaism we believe that to be wise one must always be learning and realize that one’s knowledge is never complete. A true חכם realizes that he is a lifelong student, and must never feel as if he is all-knowing. As Albert Einstein said, “The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know.”
I was, therefore, happy to be a תלמידה this past week by attending a number of learning and sharing opportunities. This learning experience began last Sunday when I attended a conference, (described in Rabbi Knapp’s email that he sent out on Thursday), which was the first Jewish Schools & Technology Summit organized by the Tikvah Foundation and the Jewish Parents Forum. As you know, for some years now Yavneh has been at the forefront of working on healthy technology engagement for our students, whether through in-school curricula, parent workshops, inter-school programming and even guidelines some years ago created by parents. As Rabbi Knapp described in his email, our partnership with our current Yavneh Parent Technology Committee and our Yavneh Healthy Tech initiative, has brought these efforts to a new level. The opportunity to attend this summit with parent representatives and members of our administrative team with about 50 Jewish schools was inspirational, motivational and provided us with some practical takeaways. (It was also amazing to see how so many schools are on the same page with the need to assure safe technology use for our children. Stay tuned to hear more!)
I would like to share a few items that struck me as a תלמידה. I know that in the months ahead we will be sharing some of what we learned with you, so, I will focus only on a few items. (I do use much of the language used by the speakers themselves).
TAKEAWAY #1:
One speaker at the conference was Zachary Rausch, Chief Researcher for Dr. Jonathan Haidt, a well-known social psychologist alerting us to the dangers of technology for our children. (Dr. Haidt’s recent book which just came out last week The Anxious Generation: How The Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Illness- is a must-read!). Of the many items I learned, there were three that I want to focus on. Use of technology and social media, Rausch highlighted, has three negative effects:
Opportunity cost- There are only 24 hours a day and when our children are spending 7-9 hours on screens they are pushing out everything else. (Including sleeping, reading, in-person socializing etc.).
Attention fragmentation and learning loss- The constant notifications are distracting during all types of activities.
Behavioral addiction- devices are purposefully designed to maximize engagement and the inability to put them down.
TAKEAWAY #2:
Dr. Leonard Sax, Director of the Montgomery Center for Research in Child and Adolescent Development was another speaker.
He posed the question to the audience: “Which parameter at 12 years of age predicts health, wealth and happiness at age 32?” The choices were:
Being open to new ideas
GPA
Emotional stability
Friendliness and agreeableness
Self- control
While all those items are important, the research-based answer was “self-control.” We, as parents, today are having a harder time helping our children have self-control. Clearly, engaging in unhealthy technology behaviors, (as Rausch noted), leads to a situation where our children have no self-control.
TAKEAWAY #3
Rabbi Meir Soloveitchik of Yeshiva University and rabbi of Congregation Shearith Israel, in addition to being a Tikvah Senior Fellow, spoke about the centrality of memory in Judaism. We are עם הספר- which most translate as “people of the book”, but in reality it is “people of the scroll.” Unlike a book, a particular paragraph in a scroll is hard to access. The rolling and scrolling take a long amount of time. (He added, humorously, that on our phones, scrolling takes three seconds). There was no text that could be easily consulted until it was memorized. Ancient texts could not be easily scanned and unless one had a basic familiarity with the text. That is what Torah SheBaal Peh (oral) is all about- it is to be memorized. The sacred scroll is the jumping off point, but the text is really intended to be inscribed in the human mind. Judaism created a people of memory.
Rabbi Soloveitchik connected this theme to Chag HaPesach. We assume that Pesach is the holiday of “telling” as it says in Shemot 13:8 : וְהִגַּדְתָּ֣ לְבִנְךָ֔ - And you shall tell your son. But, telling is not enough. One must also remember: זָכ֞וֹר אֶת־הַיּ֤וֹם הַזֶּה֙ אֲשֶׁ֨ר יְצָאתֶ֤ם מִמִּצְרַ֨יִם֙ מִבֵּ֣ית עֲבָדִ֔ים Remember this day, when you went out of Egypt, (Shemot 13:3) . Pesach is a holiday of memory.
Technology today obviates the need for memory. You can google everything. A memoryless mind is one that cannot grow.
TAKEAWAY #4
Dr. Yoni Schwab, psychologist and Assistant Head of School of the Shefa School, noted that we have taught ourselves that anytime we are uncomfortable we pick up our phones. With screens- we escape from emotions, avoid things that are hard, and even socially isolate. And, then children do not learn the skills to tolerate discomfort and manage their emotions.
We often note this phenomenon that Dr. Schwab highlighted when discussing use of phones at bar/bat mitzvahs. These parties are events that are intensely socially demanding. Oftentimes, to deal with uncomfortable feelings, our children pick up their phones when they should be dancing, eating or even listening to a dvar Torah.
So, as you see, even we as adult תלמידים have much to learn. I share these takeaways with you to serve as a springboard for more discussion in the weeks ahead. (I will leave what I learned at my Prizmah Mental Health Summit workshops for another week!)
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, zt”l, shared in his Seder Night Companion that “ Being a Jew means being both a student and an educator, and Seder night is our opportunity to focus on both these roles.” As we approach Rosh Chodesh Nissan and the chag of Pesach we are used to thinking of ourselves as being in the role of teacher at the seder- the והגדת לבנך role. But, in essence, as we re-enact the Pesach story, we recall that Moshe was called “משה רבינו” - Moshe our teacher. We were the students- learning about this new connection with Hashem, our Torah, and our role as students. As Ben Zoma says in Pirkei Avot 4:1- בֶּן זוֹמָא אוֹמֵר, אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם, הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם, “Ben Zoma said: Who is wise? He who learns from every man.” As parents, there is so much we can and need to learn to help our children grow, as I learned this past week. May we continue being life-long learners this Pesach and beyond.
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade- Some students focused on the topic of excluding others while others focused on the skills of how to work in groups.
Seventh Grade- Some students focused on the dangers of gambling related to March Madness and some students focused on real-life scenarios of how to stand up for what is right.
Eighth Grade- As part of their substance abuse unit, students learned of the dangers of vaping.
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