Mindfulness The Jewish Way

        As we began Selichot last night and soon enter the days of the Yamim Noraim, we spend much of our time in prayer.  Whether hours in shul  on Rosh Hashana or a full day on Yom Kippur, these are days when we work on our  כוונה for Tefillah. With the popularity of mindfulness of late in the field of mental health, I consider that we, the Jewish people, were mindful way before it was popular.  What can mindfulness do for us as people in general and more specifically as Jews? 

Mindfulness is the ability to simply be present in the moment, and aware of your thoughts and your feelings, without judgment. Especially today, in an age of technology, we have lost the ability to just sit and be. I recall the day when I sat in a doctor’s office waiting room simply waiting.   Today, if one looks around, everyone is on his/her phone.  Mindfulness has been shown to help people manage stress, rumination,  anxiety, depression, addiction and various other mental health related issues. It has even been shown to improve physical illness such as hypertension, chronic pain and heart failure. Researchers discuss its beneficial impact on self-control, objectivity, flexibility, concentration, self- insight, morality, mental clarity and the ability to better relate to others. 

Mindful parenting can help both us and our children. Mindfulness can help you lower the stress that sometimes comes along with parenting, and can help teach our children the strategies as well, as we model them.  As Julian Garey of the Child Mind Institute writes in her article “Mindful Parenting” 

 “Mindfulness is designed to help you notice your emotions and calm yourself down in stressful situations. It includes breathing exercises, guided meditations and taking a step back from difficult situations. These habits can give you the time and emotional space you need to solve problems at home. Sometimes mindfulness means slowing things down. Being mindful means focusing on right now and not always rushing to get to the next thing. It means letting go of the idea that things need to be perfect. Or that you need to be the perfect parent.  Part of being a good parent is learning to dial back your own stress. Studies show that the biggest source of stress for kids is their parents’ stress! So, parents who are less stressed make kids less stressed.  In stressful situations, your calm response will help your kids calm down too. They see that you’re not falling apart. You’re in control and that makes them feel safe.”

Mindfulness- taking time to stop, think and breathe is a wonderful strategy to model for our kids.  Here are some other basic mindfulness strategies for us to utilize and model:

1. When you feel agitated, and you stop and think and breathe, say a mantra.  On the website “Raising Kids With Purpose” the author writes a list of some great examples:

• This is not an emergency.

• I can handle this.

• I breathe in calm, I breathe out calm. I breathe in love, I breathe out calm. (Dr. Laura Markham)

• My child would do well if he or she could (Dr. Ross Greene)

• Behavior is an unmet need.

• Behavior is communication.

• God, I’m safe with you.

• I have everything I need right now (Abundant Mama)

• Connection before correction (Dr. Daniel Siegel) 

2. Here are two commonly used breathing techniques:

1. 5, 7, 8 breathing – Inhale for five counts, hold for seven and blow out a big exhale for eight counts. 

2. Box breathing – Breathe in for four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. You can use your finger to draw a box or square as you count to four.

     3.  Doing a body scan - bring attention to each of the following body parts one at a time:

1. Toes → ball of the foot

2. Calves → quads

3. Stomach 

4. Mind

5. Heart

     4. One more strategy she notes on “Raising Kids With Purpose” is called savoring.

“Savoring is aiming your attention on positive things in order to create a “bank account” of goodness to draw on in tough times.  When you induce the feelings of gratitude, empathy, and pleasure, you are actually changing the neurotransmitters in your brain to give yourself a positive sense of well-being and a strong sense of safety.  How to savor: attach positive thoughts to each of your senses.
What you see around you – nature, your kids getting along, your house you are blessed to live in, certain colors you enjoy  

What you hear – music, a baby’s laugh, the sizzling of food, birds chirping, the leaves rustling
What you smell – your favorite food, essential oils, your hair, perfume, your baby’s sweet skin
How you felt in the past – reminisce on past experiences that were very joyful. Savor through journaling
What you feel – something soft, your baby’s skin, your clothes, a tree
What you taste – think of the texture, flavor, and temperature”

This concept of savoring, reminded me of a Jewish mindfulness strategy Dr. Jonathan Feiner, in his book Mindfulness: A Jewish Approach  presents, noting that mindfulness is a way to connect to Hashem “The next time you walk outside, pay attention to the beauty around you…notice the light reflecting on the tree, the sound of the wind, the complexity of the world around us. Remind yourself of the artist who created these beautiful masterpieces.” He quotes Ramban’s recommendation to enjoy nature as an antidote to melancholy.

I recently heard a pre- Yamim Noraim lecture by Sarah Yocheved Rigler and she spoke about something that was similar to this concept- being mindful about everyday “regular” occurrences. She began by asking, “What if I told you you could connect to Hashem by doing the laundry?”  She describes that In Judaism we connect to Hashem in two ways and they are linked to each other. The first way is through doing mitzvot. A mitzvah is like a tractor beam. It is a beam of energy that comes from above to below and when you step into it you are pulled up. 

“The second way to connect toHashem is through consciousness, what we call today “Mindfulness.” It really tickles me that mindfulness has become so popular these days. Being mindful and conscious of Hashem. The Rambam wrote that the power of thought that Hashem granted us is what connects us to Him. Rav Shimshon Pinchas said based on these words that are life changing “When we think about Hashem we are actually with Hashem and when we stop thinking about Hashem we simply disconnect from Hashem. “ It is a matter of consciousness and mindfulness. “

And, that mindfulness is the כוונה with which we began. כוונה does not only apply to prayer. And, she gives an example: What does it look like to do a mitzvah with the intention of doing the mitzvah, and thereby I am connected to the infinite G-d of the universe? Drinking water is good for your bodies. When you drink water you could be, if you have the kavanah,  fulfilling the mitzvah דאורייתא of “וְנִשְׁמַרְתֶּ֥ם מְאֹ֖ד לְנַפְשֹׁתֵיכֶ֑ם”-  (to take care of your health).  When you drink the water and Iyou pause and think I am drinking this water as He has commanded, at that moment you are connecting with the infinite G-d of the universe and have stepped into that tractor beam. The name of my book soon to be published is: “Drink A glass of water and 117 ways to connect to your creator.’” Some mitzvot are hard. This is easy. It can transform your entire life. How many times a day do you drink water?...For example this same mitzvah can be fulfilled when you brush your teeth, take vitamins, eat a healthy snack, put on a seatbelt, drive carefully, go to a crosswalk to cross, wait for green signal,  stop at stop sign, dress warmly in cold weather, get to sleep on time at night. “I am doing the mitzvah of taking good care of yourself-” you are doing a mitzvah the whole time you are sleeping. Only if you have the kavanah then it becomes a mitzvah… When we do the mitzvah with mindfulness we are bonding with Hashem and there is nothing better than bonding with Hashem.” 

This mindfulness is a Jewish goal and a way to connect to G-d,  as Rabbi Dr. Benjamin Epstein in his book Living in the Presence: A Jewish Mindfulness Guide for Everyday Life  calls יישוב הדעת- peace of mind (literally-having a settled mind). He describes a meditation technique: “Stand still! Habituate yourself to step back and simply observe your thoughts . . . When you view your thoughts and feelings as an outside observer, there is no longer any self-involvement that demands their removal. . . First you have to let God in…” 

Dr. Feiner also quotes the mishna in Avot 1:17:

שִׁמְעוֹן בְּנוֹ אוֹמֵר, כָּל יָמַי גָּדַלְתִּי בֵין הַחֲכָמִים, וְלֹא מָצָאתִי לַגּוּף טוֹב אֶלָּא שְׁתִיקָה

Shimon, his son, says: All my days I have grown up among the wise, and I have found nothing better for (my) body than silence

Mindfulness focuses on the importance of simply being without speaking and listening.  He demonstrates the importance of this silence to Judaism: “The midrash teaches that when God gave the Torah and there was total silence, the sound came forth, ‘I am Hashem, your God’” (Shemot Rabbah 29:9) and that “most of the earlier tzaddikim . . . were shepherds because of the benefits of solitude” (Rabbeinu Bachya ibn Pakuda on Shemot 3:1).

And, while כוונה and mindfulness clearly relate to other mitzvot, as I started, tefilla is one activity where we have been “focusing” (pun intended) on mindfulness for years.  We take the concept of clearing one’s mind and focusing,  something we do multiple times daily, for granted.   I can share that I know myself that when I daven (including Modeh Ani in the morning, Shema at night, saying berachot before I eat etc.) those are the only times that day that I feel a sense of “peace of mind.” 

As we approach Rosh Hashana, Pinny Arnon in his article “Rosh Hashana: A Day of Mindfulness at the ‘Head’ of the Year” highlights how this coming Rosh Hashana can be life-changing. 

Rosh Hashana is not to be a day of guilt, but rather a day of intense MINDFULNESS. If we have been distracted and preoccupied throughout the past year – as many of us tend to be on account of all of the responsibilities, worries, and desires that divert us on a daily basis – Rosh Hashana is the day for us to put all of our concerns aside and to focus intently on our existence. Why are we here, who is responsible for our being, and what are we doing with the precious gift of every moment?

Rosh Hashana literally means the “Head of the year.” It is not the “beginning of the year” or the “new year,” but specifically the “head” of the year. This is because it is the day for us to use our head to practice the mindfulness for which we were ultimately created.

Advisory Update: 

Sixth Grade: Students had the opportunity to do a “How Are We Doing” lesson where advisors got to see how they are doing in school and how they are feeling about their experiences

Seventh Grade: Students began the next unit in Advisory on Teamwork, Communication and Compromising skills as preparation for Frost Valley.

Eighth Grade: Students learned about effective ways to set goals and assess their grit in achieving those goals. 

Second Chances

          Each week when I go to our local Jewish grocery stores before Shabbat, (and even Shoprite on Fridays!), I inevitably bump into Yavneh graduates (or their parents). I get an update about what they are up to in life- high school, college, leaving for seminary, graduate school, engaged, newly married, expecting twins (yes, a graduate once told me in Grand and Essex she was expecting twins!), and even teachers and rebbeim in local yeshivot. What nachat!  I cannot even describe the pride I feel in what they have grown to be.  And, you can ask my fellow administrators- I then run to the administration whatsapp group and post, “I bumped into so and so and let me tell you what she’s up to…” This past week, my shopping took me double the time as I conversed with various graduates (and even bumped into a student from the school I previously worked in over 20 years ago).  It has gotten to the point that pre- Shabbat shopping is my favorite time of the week! 

I truly feel that nachat when I meet any of my former students, but I feel particular pride when I bump into the ones who struggled in middle school and yet we never gave up on them.  We supported them and partnered with the parents, and they have progressed and soared since then. And, I am then reminded that you can never give up on a child, and perhaps what we gave them in middle school helped them become who they are today.  There are so many contributing factors, I am sure, to their successes. But, I do think we at Yavneh can take some credit. We told them that we knew they could do it… and they did. 

Mr. Charlie Harary,  in his book Unlocking Greatness stresses “What you think about you bring about.” Our minds shape reality.  He quotes a famous research study by Dr. Robert Rosenthal in the 1960s, which really hit home as an educator.  Dr. Rosenthal went to an elementary school and claimed that he designed a test that would assess “blooming intelligence”  by the results on the test, and would share those scores with the teachers. But, in reality he faked all the scores and randomly gave some students better scores and some worse. A year later, the students he randomly chose were actually at the top of their classes! (And, they all had IQ tests,  and he knew that they did not necessarily score the highest).   And, their actual IQ scores even went up a year later! It was all because the teachers mistakenly thought these students were “smarter,” expected more of them, the students then picked up on those expectations and adapted to them.  When teachers believed in their students, they actually achieved more. 

This reminds me of a video of a TED talk I show teachers called “Every Kid Needs A Champion” by a teacher,  Rita Pierson.  I am going to share a bit of what she says:

I have had classes that were so low, so academically deficient that I cried. I wondered, how am I going to take this group in nine months from where they are to where they need to be? And it was difficult. It was awfully hard. How do I raise the self-esteem of a child and his academic achievement at the same time? 

One year I came up with a bright idea. I told all my students, "You were chosen to be in my class because I am the best teacher and you are the best students, they put us all together so we could show everybody else how to do it." One of the students said, "Really?" I said, "Really. We have to show the other classes how to do it, so when we walk down the hall, people will notice us, so you can't make noise. You just have to strut." And I gave them a saying to say: "I am somebody. I was somebody when I came. I'll be a better somebody when I leave. I am powerful, and I am strong. I deserve the education that I get here. I have things to do, people to impress, and places to go." And they said, "Yeah!" You say it long enough, it starts to be a part of you. 

And so — I gave a quiz, 20 questions. A student missed 18. I put a "+2" on his paper and a big smiley face. He said, "Ms. Pierson, is this an F?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Then why'd you put a smiley face?" I said, "Because you're on a roll. You got two right. You didn't miss them all." I said, "And when we review this, won't you do better?" He said, "Yes, ma'am, I can do better." You see, "-18" sucks all the life out of you. "+2" said, "I ain't all bad…

(She then continues to speak about her mother who was also a teacher)... after she retired, I watched some of those same kids come through and say to her, "You know, Ms. Walker, you made a difference in my life. You made it work for me. You made me feel like I was somebody, when I knew, at the bottom, I wasn't. And I want you to just see what I've become…

 Every child deserves a champion, an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection, and insists that they become the best that they can possibly be.

Making a child feel like he/she is a somebody is the key to raising him/her to become a somebody. 

In our family, we are Star Wars fans.  This past week, Jame Earl Jones, who was famous for being the voice of Darth Vader, passed away.  His obituary in The Week notes that Jones was known for his “rich, resonant and instantly recognizable basso profundo which elevated every line he delivered…though he had one of the most famous voices in cinema he started out as a child traumatized into silence…” He had a very difficult family life. “The upheaval gave him a stutter and mockery from other children rendering him virtually mute from ages 6-14.  A high school teacher helped him realize that reciting memorized words made speaking easier, and by his senior year he had won an oratory competition…”  A teacher relayed the message that he could do it,  and his speech, which was difficult, became his claim to fame.  That teacher believed he could be a somebody and he became one. 

And, of course, parents have the same impact.  However, It is particularly difficult for us to help our children feel like they can succeed when they perhaps did not succeed the year before. But, the good news is…each year is a fresh start and a new chance! 

In a paper called “The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior” by Dai, Milkman and Riis at University of Pennsylvania they write about something called “the fresh start effect”- that people are more likely to tackle their goals, “take a big-picture view of their lives, and thus motivate aspirational behaviors” at landmark times that signify  a new beginning. It could be the first day of school, the beginning of a new week or even the day back from a big vacation.  They call these times “temporal landmarks,” a term which comes from the research on memory, which are markers in time that separate one time period from another so that people can divide the “timeline of their lives in their heads which helps them categorize  and thus retrieve memories,” says Melissa Dahl in her article “September Is Your Second Chance January.”  

These landmarks are also used to organize memories of ourselves, says Dahl, called “temporal self-appraisal.”  That was the summer me, this is the September me! That was my sixth grade me. Now, this is the seventh grade me.  Researchers point out that people often even “describe their pre-change self as a distinct person.”  

Dahl also notes that another explanation to the fresh start effect might be that “interruptions to a routine shake people out of autopilot.”  But, the problem is, as we intuit and the research shows, there is a lot of excitement right after the temporal landmark, but that excitement fades quickly.  When the first day of school starts, my son really does intend to do his homework the moment he gets home before watching TV.   And, slowly that commitment and enthusiasm fizzles. (Think about all those commitments to go to the gym…)  And, then your child (or you) is dejected.  How depressing it is to make that resolution on the first day of school to be different this year, and then life happens.  Most of us give up at that point. But, the truth is, it is never too late to start again. Every day can be a “temporal landmark.”  

I work with teachers to relay that message. Often I meet with children who are struggling behaviorally or academically and they feel it is too late.  There is nothing they can do. I tell them that I met with the teacher and we have agreed to make tomorrow like the first day of school. No preconceived notions or habits.  Tomorrow the teacher is meeting you for the first time, and you have the opportunity to start again. 

As parents, this is an important lesson to remind ourselves of and more importantly to share with our children. It does not matter how they did or what they did yesterday.  Each day can be a new start and a new beginning. I will not judge you and you can start fresh.  You can conjure a “temporal landmark” and a fresh start each and every day. This was me before Tuesday. Now, it is me after Tuesday- new and improved, or at least working to improve.

No matter how our children behaved one day, no matter what grade they got on their tests, or no matter how rude they were at the dinner table, we relay to them the message, “No matter what you do, you will ALWAYS get a second chance.”  I will never write you off as impossible or incorrigible.  The secure feeling that a child gets from that message ensures that he will share his worries and troubles with you before things get out of hand. Children who are worried that their parents have given up on them give up on their relationship with their parents.  “You may have skipped your homework five times in a row.  While I need to possibly implement some consequences, and sit with you every night to make sure you are doing your work, you can always redeem yourself.  I believe in you.”  

I came across an image which says it all- especially at this time of year.  

As we are in this season of Elul, Rosh HaShana, Yom Kippur we are on fire to be better and to do better this year. Whether religiously, spiritually or as human beings- we will be better.  We all make those resolutions, and then real-life sets in. It is so easy to be dejected and give up. We couldn’t do it last year, there is no way we can this year. But, Hashem is our Parent “אבינו” and He always gives us a second chance. He does not care that we failed last year (despite promising to do better).  This season is a “temporal landmark”- a fresh start. And, if for some reason it doesn’t last, each and every day He gives us another chance. 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade: Students went over the Success Tips for Middle School Guide created by last year’s sixth graders. They identified the tips they want to try to implement this year.

Seventh Grade:  Students connected the theme of this year’s Advisory “Prepare Yourself To Change The World” to how they can first implement self-change this year. They then had a “This Is How We Roll- How are we doing?” session- an opportunity to speak about how school is going thus far this year. 

Eighth Grade:  As a follow up to their incredible Corn Maze trip last week, students discussed the video “Who Moved My Cheese?” based on the book by Spencer Johnson which is about a maze as a metaphor for life- often full of challenges and dead ends and paths that we thought would be the right ones, and yet don't at all turn out the way we wanted or planned. They discussed the strategies for overcoming frustration and how to keep on going. 

Back To School Jitters- For Parents!

 

A survey reported in the New York Post said that 60% of parents are so anxious about coming back to school that they lose sleep. Of the 2000  parents surveyed 57% said it is the most stressful time of year for them.  The top worries of most parents are: Whether their child will have good teachers (50%), whether their child eats healthy foods at school (44%), the cost of buying school supplies (42%), their child’s safety at school (40%), and whether their child will make friends at school (40%).

I always used to share with others that vacation to me is not a trip to an exotic far-away land. Vacation for me is simply when my children are off from school. No oversight of homework. No lunches. No carpools. No early morning wake-ups. That is vacation. No wonder we parents often have that feeling in the pit of our stomachs the first days of school.  

Of course, as parents, we are also worried about our children’s back to school anxiety. As Dr. Rachel Busman writes in her article “Back to School Anxiety” the first step to calm down your child is: “taking your own temperature to make sure you’re not passing on stress to your kids. And to enable you to manage your own stress, she says, it’s important not to take on more commitments than the family can handle comfortably. “I think there’s a contagion effect that we have to be careful of,” she adds.  As much as we can, focus on the positives and not share our anxieties with our children. 

Attending back to school night is a great way to calm our own  back to school jitters. 

1. Get a sense of the classroom environment.  How is the classroom set up? How far is one classroom from the next? What does my child’s locker look like? You can then better envision what the physical environment your child is in each day and some of the challenges he/she may face when it comes to managing his/her materials and schedule. Once you have this information you can have more meaningful conversations about their daily lives with them. 

2. What is the teacher’s personality like? What will the vibe of the classroom be? Again, when your child talks about a teacher you can truly understand what he/she is saying. 

3. It builds a relationship and rapport with the teacher. Once you meet someone in person (and not wait until parent-teacher conferences to do so) when you receive an email, or hear about the teacher from your child, it is easier to connect. Make an effort to introduce yourself before or after the teacher’s presentation. The teacher is then not simply a name. And, by going you relay to the teacher that you value your child’s educational experience. We are all so busy, but when we take the time to come to back to school night we show that we are “all in” and partnering with the teacher. 

4. It is a great time for you to uncover each teacher’s methods- what is their homework policy? Are their quizzes? Check-ins? What materials should my child be bringing to class?  The less “unknown” there is the more you can help your child and the less anxious you are! 

5. It is an opportunity to meet other parents. Network. We are all in this together. 

By reaping all these benefits of back to school night along with knowing your child, you will have a sense of how much support your child will need at the start. Mostly, it will reassure you that this year will be a wonderful experience!  As Scholastic writes in their Back To School Night article for parents:

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then visiting in person must equal about a million. That's why most schools host back-to-school nights shortly after the beginning of the year. Take advantage of this opportunity to see the world your child inhabits every day and meet the people in charge. It's one of the best ways to begin to build that all-important home-school connection.

And, of course, by going to back to school night we are relaying the message to our children that we care about their education.  Additionally, when you come home that night or the next day, discuss back to school night with your child. Tell them what you learned about each teacher. Show them how excited you are about their opportunities this year, which can only impact positively on their attitude.  It is a perfect way to begin an open dialogue with your child about school. When you share, ask them what they think.  

And, while the beginning of the year often starts with anxiety, we need to remind ourselves that it is normal and it need not be eliminated totally. In Dr. David Rosmarin’s book Thriving With Anxiety  he explains in his introduction why we are so uncomfortable with anxiety today:

…Our culture is obsessed with control.  Today we have predictions for everything, from financial markets, political elections, and flu epidemics to professional sports outcomes and the weather…our culture cannot tolerate uncertainty.” The beginning of the school year is full of uncertainty- for our children and ourselves. But, let’s recall that some anxiety is good for us as it  does motivate us to put our all into the start of the year. 

We experience similar beginning of the year anxiety each year as we approach the Yamim Noraim (beginning in Elul). As Chani Gottleib aptly writes in her article “My Fear of Fear” 

It’s that time of year again. Elul. Like a boisterous school boy willing August to stretch beyond its 31 days, I suspect I’m not alone in wishing to hold  on to the last moments of summer and disregard Elul’s urgent message to shape up. Elul spells fear of Divine Judgment and retribution, and that fear makes me nervous and uncomfortable. I have been here before, wishing to skip the tense month of Elul with its call for self-scrutiny, demand to dig up wrongdoings I’d rather forget, and burden of guilt. Wouldn’t a gentle August to September transition be a happier way to celebrate the Jewish New Year? 

It’s that beginning of the year jitters that we experience in our religious lives too! She writes that her strategy has always been to only focus on the joyful parts of the holiday season. And, yet, that is not at all accurate.  The season is meant to have some “fear” as we know we say in tefillah of the Yamim Noraim-ובכן תן פחדך ה’ אלקינו על כל מעשיך ואימתך על כל מה שבראת. 

And so grant it that Your fear/awe, Hashem, will be upon all Your works. And Your dread upon all You have created.”

She shares a section from On Repentance by Rav Y.D. Solovetichik, that 

“an eminent psychiatrist, acutely aware of the unhealthy mental toll fear has on mankind, once suggested to Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik zt”l that if he had the authority, he would omit this tefillah. Why should we pray for fear when fear, or anxiety, is one of the major causes of mental illness?

“Everyone seems to be beset with fears of all kinds,” the Rav replied. “Some are afraid that they won’t be able to succeed in their careers, others fear losing their wealth or status or that they will fail to attain sufficient prominence. Many people are afraid of sickness and bodily weakness. In generations past, fear of leprosy engulfed the world; today people live in fear of a cancerous growth. Many people don’t go to see a doctor even when they have pains, lest he diagnose them with the dreaded disease.

“I’m not a psychiatrist, but I do know that one major source of fear can wipe out all of these lesser fears. What fear can overtake man, thereby uprooting all other fears, such as that of failure, of poverty, of old age, of rejection or of disease? Only the fear of the L-rd! That’s the reason behind the expression in the High Holy Day prayer, “Cast [Your] fear, O L-rd our G-d, upon all [Your] handiwork and [Your] awe upon all that [You have] created.” We pray that this great fear will free us from those other ones which lurk everywhere, upsetting our lives” (On Repentance, p. 223).

What is this “fear” that the Rav is referring to? I maintain it is really emunah- faith. It is the belief that no matter what happens to me, G-d is with me and supporting me. That is why one of the famous acronyms for the month of Elul, when judgment begins is from  שיר השירים ו:ג- 

אֲנִ֤י לְדוֹדִי֙ וְדוֹדִ֣י לִ֔י

“I am to my beloved as my beloved is to me.”

This pasuk describes the love relationship between Hashem and Bnai Yisrael.  But, I thought this month is full of fear? What does love have to do with anything? And, why is this love so essential for Teshuva? Sorah Esther Crispe in her article “The Jewish Heart- The Secret of Elul”  notes that true love is that the person you love and who loves you never turns his back on you. No matter what we do, or how we turn our back on Him, because Hashem loves us- He is always there for us- and we can always turn around and repent. He is always waiting for us. That is what true “יראת שמים” (fear of Heaven) and Emunah is all about. In essence, it is comforting and brings us closer to change. 

Gottleib adds:

A fear-free life isn’t an attainable goal. Nor is it even desirable. We’re hard-wired to experience fear. We need fear. It keeps us from harm. It protects us from walking off a cliff. From getting burned. From entering a place of mortal danger. It’s a survival instinct, a gift from Hashem. Yet like any one other emotion, it has to be balanced to allow us to function well.

And, just like we attend back to school night to manage our anxiety at the start of the year, there are Elul and Tishrei endeavors we can engage in to help us with that anxiety and help us grow. 

As so, as we start the school year and the Jewish year, a small dose of anxiety is good for us to start the year off right. But, there are things we can do to contain that anxiety to help us grow. See you tomorrow night at back to school night! 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade: Students continued their “getting to know you” and getting to know Advisory activities.

Seventh Graders:  Students connected their “changing the world” this year in Advisory to first focusing on self-improvement

Eighth Grade:  Students finished discussing what they will gain from Advisory this year.