This past Shabbat, Rosh Chodesh, Chanukah was, what we affectionately call, “Mrs. Cooperman’s Shabbat.” What does that mean? It is based on an article by Rabbi Emanuel Feldman “G-d and Mrs.Cooperman” which first appeared in the Rabbinical Council of America Torah Journal, Tradition in 1995. Tradition was always a mainstay in our home, as my father, a”h, was the executive director of the RCA, and I still recall reading that article. (It has since appeared in Mishpacha Magazine a few times. My quotes from the article below are from both Tradition and Mishpacha). The article is based on the davening that we daven on the Shabbat that we just experienced yesterday- which is also Rosh Chodesh and Chanukah. That Shabbat has the longest Shemoneh Esrei- where we say all the additions for Shabbat, and Rosh Chodesh and Chanukah. (Same with bentching!) (I have since heard that Rabbi Neuburger also spoke about Mrs. Cooperman’s Shabbat this week in shul).
According to Rabbi Dovid Heber, author of The Intriguing World of Jewish Time: Fascinating Zmanim and Calendar Calculations- a calendar guru- in his presentation on Torah Anytime, this is the sixth time in eleven years that we have had Shabbat, Rosh Chodesh and Chanukah together. But, we are about to have a dry spell. The next time this will happen again will be in 2039- the longest time we will go without the triple. The last time we had a fourteen year break was from 1805-1819. (And, the next time will be from 2052- 2066). So, I thought it was a good time to stop and appreciate this phenomenon.
Who was Mrs. Cooperman? She was an elderly woman who attended Rabbi Feldman’s father’s shul in Baltimore. She was “every rabbi’s ideal congregant; she never spoke during services, she davened meticulously, caressing every word, she listened avidly to the rabbi’s sermons, gave charity generously… There was only one problem. Other than her ability to read Hebrew, she was completely unlettered and unlearned. That is why, in fact, she never skipped a word of davening: she was unable to distinguish between prayers that are recited on a regular Shabbat and those which are recited only when Shabbat coincides with Rosh Chodesh, or Yom Tov or Chanukah. The net result was that on every single Shabbat of the year she recited every single prayer on every single page of the service.”
And, when Rabbi Feldman’s mother would gently remind her that she need not say all those pages on a regular Shabbat she would respond,“Nu, so what is terrible if I say it? These are holy words, and I’m talking to G-d in His holy language, so what could be bad?”
As pre-teens, Rabbi Feldman and his brothers growing up in their father’s shul found Mrs. Cooperman to be humorous. Then one year Rosh Chodesh Tevet was Shabbat Chanukah! Yaale V’Yavo, Al HaNisim, Hallel-everything was said from beginning to end. And, the same with bentching! The one time that Mrs. Cooperman was correct- “Today is her day!” And, from that point on Shabbat, Rosh Chodesh, Chanukah became known as Mrs. Cooperman’s Shabbat.
Rabbi Feldman notes that while they used to laugh about her, she possessed something that most of us lack,
“She didn’t know the translations of those words, but in a much deeper sense she understood their meaning. She brought to her praying a total submission of the self before the Presence of G-d, a love for her Creator so consuming that she could not bear to pass over a single word of His holy siddur.
She worshiped G-d not from knowledge or intellect, but from an inner spirit that transcends the mind…She praised Him for the Chanukah miracle every Shabbos of the year, she ushered in the New Moon every week of the year, her davening was a seamless web that did not distinguish one kind of holiness from another. G-d was her Divine friend, and, as the very embodiment of the Talmud’s “Rachamana liba ba’i — G-d desires the heart”(Sanhedrin 106b), her deepest when she said Baruch ata, she knew she was talking to her personal Creator, and that He was listening…her greatest joy was to engage in conversation with Him…Bizarre as her davening was, she brought to it a total submission before her Creator, a love so consuming that she could not pass over a single word of His holy siddur.”
Rabbi Feldman points out that we are missing this quality today. A shul’s worth is often measured by how quickly the services end. People are annoyed if the baal tefilla keeps them in shul for a few extra moments. Our prayers are robotic, “mechanical service of the lips” not the heart. If only we could emulate Mrs. Cooperman by “caressing the words”, and genuinely surrendering ourselves before our maker.
I often think about Mrs. Cooperman as we try to excite our students about Tefillah. My office is in the Beit Midrash so I have had the privilege of watching every single siddur play practice for the past 20 years I have been at Yavneh. The pure joy and excitement I see on the students’ faces is priceless.
And, then I have the privilege, in the same Beit Midrash, to daven each day with our middle school students. Some of them still have that excitement, and some have lost it already. So, as Jewish educators we are constantly thinking of ways to make davening joyful for our students and to make them feel as if they are talking to Hashem.
Through our Beur Tefillah classes- of which I am again privileged to teach for the 8th grade girls, we try to help the students see how their tefillah can express what is in their hearts. For example, we just learned about Modeh Ani, which they probably have not learned about since they first got their siddurim at that siddur play years ago. What does Modeh Ani really mean? Why do we awaken with that? What are the things that we are grateful for? The goal is to connect their own personal lives to all that they are davening. In this way, they feel as if they are conversing with their Creator like Mrs. Cooperman did. And, to remember that when we awaken each day with our souls returned to us- every day we can praise Him for Chanukah miracles, like Mrs. Cooperman.
And, of course as parents, we play a significant role in helping our children feel that connection to Tefillah. As Rabbi Daniel Alter wrote in his 2016 article, “Teaching Meaningful Tefillah: Directions and Guidelines”
How can we instill the sense of value and importance of tefillah in our children: The home environment has the lead role in achieving this goal. Your child’s day school is your partner…
As a child, my connection to Tefillah clearly stemmed from my parents. I proudly stood next to my mother in shul- watching her daven with kavanah, and still can hear my father’s voice as I heard him daven from the bima. They both truly loved and cherished the opportunity to speak to Hashem, and I caught on. The school, while important, is merely a partner.
Rabbi Moshe Hauer, z”l, of the Orthodox Union who recently passed away, referenced a research study on attrition and connection to the Jewish community, completed in March 2025, in his article, “How Will We Face Our Father?”
He shared, “...the strength and staying power of their bond to Orthodoxy will be built significantly on the power of the authentic connection to Judaism they observe in their parents and role models. … bringing their child along to shul and paying far less attention to what the child was doing while there; the child would then see the parent and the other congregants engaged in their davening and learning” That is what fosters a connection to Tefillah- seeing their parents having that connection in their own Tefillah, and observing their parents as conversing with G-d.
Rabbi Moshe Weinberger, in his article “Lights” in Jewish Action points out that “Hannukah was the first “oral miracle.” It is celebrated with songs and praise as opposed to the physical festivities of Purim. The lights of Hannukah are the lights of Torah which illuminate our lives, which fill our hearts and soar above the parchment and words.” Isn’t that what Tefillah is meant to be?
As we celebrate the last day of Chanukah let us remember the importance of our children seeing us להודות ולהלל not only on Chanukah, but on every day of our lives.
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade: Students continued a deep dive into Bar/Bat Mitzvah etiquette and proper behavior.
Seventh Grade: Students visited the Hackensack Homeless shelter and performed for the residents, and delivered gifts, as they put into effect the skills of empathy they focused upon during this unit.
Eighth Grade- Students discussed materialism and how it impacts American society- especially during this season.
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