Good Enough- Dayeinu

         I recently read an article by Esther Rabi called  “Take Your Pick” about helping our children learn how to make decisions.  She quotes Dr. Barry Schwartz, author of Paradox of Choice who says there are two different types of choice makers. Maximizers- “they agonize over every possible option and then suffer from anticipatory regret,  (“What if the store gets an even nicer coat next week”?), post-decision regret, mourning the options they nixed.”   

The other type of choice maker is a “satisficer” which is a combination of the words “satisfied” and “sacrificed.”  These choice makers are content with their decisions as they are “good enough.”  Schwartz speaks about the importance of teaching our children that good enough is good enough.  So, if we know our children are “maximizers” then the less choices we give them the better.  Talking through their choice making out loud is also helpful. And, we should also model for them our choice making by verbalizing  our decision making out loud.  

The teenage years are years where our children often feel they are not “good enough.”  They are constantly comparing themselves to their peers, what they see in the media, and thinking about what they aren’t.  As parents, we can help them with these feelings.  No, not by only praising them even when a critique is warranted. But, by limiting criticism and being careful not to tease them when  they are doing something wrong, thereby sending them the message they are “not good enough.”  Rather than saying “No- you are doing that wrong!”  say “How about if you do it that way?”  

Dr. Carl Pickhardt in his article “When Your Adolescent Doesn't Feel Good Enough” also suggests that we should use “non-evaluative correction.”  Tell them why you aren’t happy with their choice, don’t attack their character.  

One other way to achieve this feeling of “good enough” is by not focusing on self-esteem, but rather self- compassion, stressed by Dr. Kristen Neff. Self- compassion is treating yourself with kindness and self-acceptance- in essence treating yourself as you would treat a friend- with kindness.  In her study of adolescents those who had higher self-compassion were okay with their flaws and were able to acknowledge that they struggled like everyone does.  They were able to say to themselves things like they would say to a friend who struggled “It’s okay- you tried your best.” 

Of course, limiting social media use does help those “I am not good enough” feelings. Social comparison is so painful for teens.  I will mention one more time the link between social media use and depression and anxiety. 

Helping others has also been seen to help teens to feel good enough. Interestingly, it has been found that helping strangers has even more of a positive impact on helping teens feel better about themselves.

And, of course, constantly tell your child that there is no one like him/her.  But, we also need to remember to encourage our children to try their best, but they do not have to be THE BEST.  We need to recognize and praise effort, “Wow, you are working so hard at this!” rather than praising the product or the grade.   

Being “good enough” is the antidote to perfectionism. As parents we often note that our teens put too much pressure on themselves.  Rachel Simmons, in her article “Perfectionism among teens is rampant (and we’re not helping)”, quotes a study that in addition to the social media pressures noted above, another area which impacts on teens not feeling good enough is the immense push from parents for kids to be “uber-successful.”  It is called “child contingent self-esteem” that we as parents base our own self-worth on the success of our children.  We, therefore, spend more time pushing them to achieve rather than simply “hanging out” with them. Research indicates while parents claim that as long their child is doing his/her best, that is sufficient, it truly isn’t to them.  We need to relay to our children that if they are trying their best they are always good enough. 

One way to relay this “good enough” message to our teens is by  focusing on being content with good enough parenting.  As I have mentioned previously in my column, the term “good enough parenting” is based on the work of Dr. Bruno Bettelheim.  As Dr. Peter Gray noted in his article “ The Good Enough Parent Is the Best Parent”  “If we define parenting as caregiving to one’s child, then the best parent is not the one who parents most, and certainly not the one who parents least, but the one who parents just the right amount. That’s the parent Goldilocks would pick, if she had tried out three different parents along with the three different bowls of porridge, chairs, and beds. It’s the one most children would pick if they had the power to choose.”

“Good enough parents” do not expect perfection from themselves nor from their children. When a parent strives to be perfect, he demands perfection from his children which will make for a very poor parent-child relationship which is too demanding. “Perfect parenting” leads to blaming-whether one’s spouse, one’s child or oneself.  Good enough parents understand that imperfection is part of the human condition and forgive themselves for it.  They realize that children are resilient and will turn out okay even if they “mess up” once in a while. They accept their children for who they are.  Such parents can develop a positive, empathic relationship with their children. Good enough parents realize they cannot determine their children's futures, but can only set them up for a successful one by doing the best they can, and by giving them what they need, but not more than what they need.   They allow their children to make their own mistakes, as they realize mistakes and failure are an important part of their development.        

They realize that children are resilient and will turn out okay even if they “mess up” once in a while.  Since good enough parents accept “good enough” parenting they are less anxious, calmer and more patient. They thereby are more secure parents for their children. 

I like to call this “good enough” philosophy of life the “dayeinu” perspective.  To look at each step and moment of our lives as if it is די - enough. To appreciate all we have achieved and how hard we have worked and to realize we can and should be happy and content with the stage we have reached. 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade;  Students in the “teacher- student” flipped lesson spoke about whether teachers realize what it is like to be a student and do students realize what it is like to be a teacher.

Seventh Grade: No Advisory this week due to distance learning. 

Eighth Grade:  Students discussed how technology impacts the way they interact with

Judging A Book By Its Cover

        This week our 7th graders videoed a very special performance for the local homeless shelter, which I dropped off on Friday with the hats, gloves and scarves they collected. As part of this unit in Advisory, they have been learning the skills of empathy, and how to reserve judgment.   These concepts fit perfectly with how our students normally view the homeless.  Oftentimes people jump to conclusions when they hear someone is homeless and assume he/she must have done something wrong. He is lazy, or a drug addict or definitely refusing to work.  In this unit in Advisory our students learn that often people confront life circumstances that are beyond their control.  Whether it’s a hurricane, a death of a breadwinner or an illness.  Many people are struggling without our even knowing. 

We do a cute activity about not rushing to judgment where the students have two packages- one beautifully wrapped and the other in a plain bag- both with the same items inside. We hold up the two boxes and ask the students to vote on which box they would want to open first.   We assume that most of the time the students will opt to open the beautifully wrapped item. We open it and then open the second one to show they both have the same item inside. We judged the inside by what we saw on the outside.  We then discussed with the students how we often do that with people- judging them based on what it looks like on the outside, but not understanding what is truly happening on the inside.  We make assumptions based on what we see on the outside. 

As a school psychologist I spend some of my time with upset students, teachers or parents trying to assist.  More often than not it often comes down to a case of making assumptions.  Carla assumed that Charla was angry at her because she ignored her in the hallway. But, really Charla was upset about the science test she just got back and didn’t even notice Carla in the hallway.  Mrs. Smith thought that Simona was not paying attention in class and taking a nap.  In reality, Simona heard and got everything down in her notebook, but had a terrible headache so she put her head down at the same time.  Harold thought that Simon and his friends were cliquey and ignoring him and his friends. Turns out that Simon thought the same thing- that Harold and his friends were being cliquey and was hurt. 

What I have learned over the years is how much suffering and upset we would all be spared if we took a moment to try to give others the benefit of the doubt, not rush to judgment and not make assumptions. Carla would no longer be upset at Charla. Mrs. Smith would be understanding instead of angry.  And, Harold would be working on making things better instead of being angry at Simon. 

Recently, a seventh grade student gave me a book to read, (as she saw it was connected to Advisory), called The Other Side Of The Story  by Yehudis Samet. The book has story after story of circumstances that were deemed obvious, but in essence were not at all what the person judged them to be.  She also provides practical strategies to work on giving others the benefit of the doubt. Samet stressed the importance of insight, comprehension, and considering possibilities to combat censure, blame and superficial judgments. 

It says in Pirkei Avot 2:4:

וְאַל תָּדִין אֶת חֲבֵרְךָ עַד שֶׁתַּגִּיעַ לִמְקוֹמוֹ

Do not judge your fellow man until you have reached his place.

This is exactly what we have been teaching our students in Advisory. The key to avoiding misjudging others is empathy. And, we teach the steps- Pretend you are that person. Now, think: Why is he or she feeling that way?  What thoughts are going through his/her head?

For that moment, feel with  the other person. Feel the emotions he/she is feeling.

  In a Dr. Bene Brown video on empathy that we show the students, she describes how empathy is climbing down to an underground  tunnel/sewer where the other person is stuck.  Sympathy is just staying on top and yelling down the manhole- “Are you okay?”   Empathy is going to the place of the other. תַּגִּיעַ לִמְקוֹמוֹ.

Over the years I have learned that everyone has a story you know nothing about. Everyone is struggling with something even if his/her life looks perfect.  Rather than assuming that something he/she did that bothers you was malicious, perhaps consider maybe there is a story you know nothing about. 

I often find that this piece of advice is critical when it comes to being understanding with people who have mental health struggles that we often know nothing about. Some weeks ago I quoted an article Making Assumptions: You never know what is going on in someone else's mind.  by Sophie Riegel who has discussed her battle with mental illness.  She writes:

From the outside, I look like a typical teenager. I hang out with my friends, I play sports, I go out to dinner with my family, and I go to school. Honestly, if you didn’t know me, you wouldn’t even know that I have an anxiety disorder. That’s the thing about people. We have no idea what is going on in someone else’s mind. We only know what we can see, and from what I understand, I can’t see your thoughts.

Sophie continues to describe how when we see something happen we often assume what the person is feeling or thinking. 

This is what people do all day, every day. We see the facts and we make assumptions. We assume and assume but we are really just making up stories about each other. And the problem is, we can’t help it. No one teaches us to do anything else. In English classes, for example, we are told to infer how a character in a story is feeling. That’s making an assumption. Or if we are on a date, we are told to “read the room” before making a move. This is a good and appropriate strategy for this situation, but we are still making assumptions.

Maybe he isn’t mean, maybe he is suffering.  Maybe she isn’t disorganized, maybe she is overwhelmed by panic.  Maybe he didn’t forget about practice, maybe he had something going on at home that was really too much for him to handle.  (This brings us back to what I had discussed in the earlier article- compassionate curiosity. Ask the person questions to truly understand what he/she is going through). 

I hope that our 7th graders learned a bit about not judging others by what we see on the outside.   As an anonymous person wrote:  Everyone has their own story which you know nothing about. You don't know anyone's daily struggles or what they've been through or the path they have walked for the choices they make. Think before you judge anyone, understand why, don't assume, learn the facts.

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade: Students discussed the importance of considering the perspective of the teacher when it comes to deciding how they behave. 

Seventh Grade: Students realized how they often judge others without considering “the other side of the story.”

Eighth Grade;  How do students want to be remembered when they leave Yavneh- for their goodness.  Why is it sometimes hard to choose good?  Why is it important to do so? 

Parenting In A World of Sendit and Squid Game

 

Like most things in life, I learn about what’s “in” from my students. (Full disclaimer: I am totally not “with it.”)  One area I learn about from my students is the area of technology. I try to keep up, but alas, I have a technology phobia.  Often students share with me positive areas of technology that I can implement to create a cool lesson in Advisory, enhance my Navi class or even make a video for my son’s birthday.  Unfortunately, sometimes I get my information after a crying child comes to me with an upsetting post.  

Last week, a number of children came forward upset about some posts on the app Sendit.  As per Common  Sense Media  “Parents need to know that Sendit - get it now is a social networking app that works exclusively with Snapchat. It features a number of augmented reality games that encourage users to ask and answer personal questions. It's also an anonymous feedback app, meaning participants can respond to questions and play games without revealing their identity. Anonymous apps, while popular with teens, are frequently problematic, as they can be a hotbed for bullying and other hurtful behaviors. The app can only be used with friends chosen by the user, but, of course, social media "friends" are often just a massive pool of online acquaintances.  If used among a close-knit social group, sendit is generally appropriate for the 17 and over crowd. Parents or guardians of less mature users, however, should be aware of the potential dangers that can arise when bullies are able to hide behind smartphone screens.”

These students showed screenshots about questions that were asked about other children in the grade that were insulting and degrading.  Students were asked to “rate” other children in the grade.  Two groups of children in the grade were called an insulting name by others.  These screenshots, which I saw myself, were quite distressing.  But, unfortunately, they were anonymous, as the app was designed to be. You will soon receive a letter from the middle school team about this app. As I noted in the letter: We have stressed over and over the dangers of communicating with someone you do not know, but since the children feel that the people in Sendit are their “friends” from Snapchat they feel it is safe. Please communicate with your children that it is NEVER safe to communicate online when the identity of the sender is anonymous.  

The children who came forward showed us how it started innocently. Someone would post an anonymous question- “What is your favorite donut flavor?” And, before you know it, the questions turned into things like (not an actual question, but an example) “Do you think that Carla is pretty?”- for anyone who is on this Snapchat group to see!!!  Students even described to us that they regretted that they stupidly answered questions like that at first.  And, often the ones who are doing the posting don’t mean to be malicious, but just aren’t thinking.  Whenever there is no accountability for what you post due to anonymity  it is not a good place for teens to be.  And, we have often discussed how the frontal lobe area of the brain which is needed for responsible decision making is not yet fully developed in middle schoolers. Why would we allow them to use an app where they can post anything on their minds anonymously?

As parents we need to discuss with our children what are the risks of communicating anonymously?  Can you trust everyone who is in  your “group”?  How should you react when someone posts something about you or a friend? To whom should you go? 

     As discussed previously, we as parents should be installing monitoring programs for our children.  There are also ways to limit which apps your children can load on their phone through setting up  Family Sharing (iPhone) or Family Link (Android). And, to prevent access to app stores altogether one can turn off the App Store in Screen Time (iPhone) or use an App Lock (Android).  As always, our technology department is available for support in these areas. 

In last week’s The Week magazine an article “The Emotional Costs of Social Media” reiterated that which we already know. The article blames social media, especially for girls,  for the “massive, sudden, multinational deterioration of teen mental health… When teens went from texting friends on flip phones in 2010 to posting carefully curated photos and awaiting comments and likes by 2014, the change rewired everyone’s social life.”   I have written on this topic numerous times. But, everytime a crying child comes into my office, it truly hits home.   No one wants his/her child to be that crying child.  

While I have you, I wanted to mention another concerning media item that came my way. Some students were speaking to me about a game they played (similar to  red light green light in the olden days) and they said it was “Just like the show Squid Game.”   My radar went up and I began speaking to kids about it. Apparently, many children not only watched/ are watching the show Squid Game but binge watched it on Netflix.  While it might be too late for some, I wanted to bring it to your attention.  For those not familiar, Squid Game is an extremely violent South Korean TV show where their characters play “games” which lead to their deaths.  Students find out about  the show from their friends, TikTok, youtube… 

Needless to say, the show is rated for above 16, and definitely, no middle schooler should be watching this graphic, violent show.  As my go-to resource, Common Sense Media notes, 

“Parents need to know that the level of violence is very intense in Squid Game. Characters are systematically tortured and killed for the sadistic pleasure of a game master. Adults have sex, and there are threats of sexual violence: Women are grabbed by the hair and beaten. Themes concerning the highs one gets from gambling, winning, or conning money are a main focus."

If your child has already watched this show, please do take the time to discuss with him/her how the show made him/her feel and your worries about the messages the show relays. And, please have a talk with your child about the Sendit app. Never underestimate the impact of these “talks.” 

As a parent, I am sometimes worried about what my children are doing after I hand them that device that I know nothing about (especially me, with my technology phobia!) and all the dangers they are facing when I am not there to “watch” their technology use and peek over their shoulder.  These past few parshiot we have been reading about Yoseph and his travails in Egypt. Yoseph was in a dangerous “spiritual”  situation as well.  What was he doing when his father was not with him?  

For those who have been reading my column for some time, you will recognize that this is my opportunity to bring up my favorite Gemara regarding Yoseph, Yaakov, and parenting. When Yoseph was in the house of Potiphar, far from home and his family, he faced the difficult situation of the wife of Potiphar. The Gemara in Sotah 36b describes, “It was taught in the School of R. Ishmael: That day was their feast-day, and they had all gone to their idolatrous temple; but she had pretended to be ill because she thought, I shall not have an opportunity like today for Joseph to associate with me. And she caught him by his garment, saying etc. At that moment his father's image came and appeared to him through the window and said: 'Joseph, your brothers will have their names inscribed upon the stones of the ephod and yours amongst theirs; is it your wish to have your name expunged from amongst theirs and be called an associate of harlots?' Immediately his bow abode in strength.”

Clearly, Yoseph's father was far away in Canaan- how could he have seen the image of his father Yaakov in the window? That image of Yaakov that he saw was the voice in his head. Over and over he had heard his father say, “Good boys don't act that way. In our family, our values are...” And, of course, like any teenager, (Yoseph was just 17 when he went to Egypt), he said to his dad, “I know, I know- why do you keep on telling me the same thing?!” And, yet, Yaakov continued sending those messages. That is why, when faced with a challenge to his morality, he heard that voice in his head. 

So, when we have our frequent “talks” with our children they say to us, “I know, I know- enough already!” And, yet when they are faced with challenges, and the impulse to post something inappropriate, hurtful, or watch a show we know is harmful to them,  they will hear our voices in their head, and practically see our images before them reminding them of what they should do.  While we can install apps to monitor our children’s device use, which is half the battle, we cannot always physically be with them. But, our values will always be with them. 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade:  Students first had a chance to debrief the fun and educational mock bar/bat mitzvah they had on Monday. They then began a piece on how to ascertain what appropriate behavior is in class. 

Seventh Grade: Students learned the skills of empathy and how it is different from sympathy.

Eighth Grade: Students considered the impact of materialism on who were are and why goodness matters. 

A Thankful Chanukah Of Rededication

  I happen to be the number one Ishay Ribo fan. (No exaggeration!)  For those of you who haven’t heard of Ishay Ribo he is an Israeli singer who has taken the Jewish music world by storm, as he has inspired both the secular and Charedi communities with his Jewish inspirational lyrics set to a “modern” music style.  

When listening to Ishay Ribo on Spotify you inevitably bump into musicians who either sing with him or have a similar musical style.  I came across a song by Omer Adam, who is not religious, but will not perform on Shabbat.  When I found his song Modeh Ani, I could relate to its lyrics and decided to bring it into my Navi/Beur Tefillah class that I teach the 8th grade girls.  

In the class I periodically try to connect what we are learning in Navi (Melachim 1) to something in davening.  We had been learning about Dovid HaMelech at the end of his life and were considering how difficult Dovid’s life was. From King Shaul trying to kill him, to the rebellion of his son Avshalom...the list goes on and on.  We discussed how Dovid was able to turn to Hashem, as he was known as נעים זמירות ישראל- The sweet singer of Israel, as he composed Tehillim.  How was he able to trust in Hashem despite all that was going on around him? 

We then took a moment to look at the Tefillah we say each morning Modeh Ani.  For what are we thankful? What if we are going through tough times, are we still thankful? 

We then looked at the lyrics of Omer Adam’s song (here they are in English, and here is a link to the song if you’d like to listen). 

מודה אני

Omer Adam

I offer thanks to you each morning

For restoring my soul to me

Thank you for the life that covers me

Warms me like a flame

That protects me from the cold

You're there 1 and believe in me

 

I offer thanks each morning

For the present moment and for the light

Thank you for the generous pale gold 2

You have placed on my table

To feed my children

You protect, you are great

 

For my joys and my smiles

I thank you

For my talents

And for my songs

They are all for you

Know that, know that

 

I thank you my king

I cry to you, my G-d, oh my G-d 4

 

To you I call

To you, my life

To you, my heart 5

I thank you

 

To you I call 6

To you I call

 

I offer thanks each morning

For the love of my father, of my mother

Thank you for the rain that waters the trees

Of my fields, for being the guardian 7

Of our lives of our destinies

For the day of rest 8

 

I thank you

For the success, for being here

For being happy sometimes

Know that, know that

I thank you, my G-d

I cry to you, my G-d, oh my G-d

 

To you I call

 

To you, my life

To you, my heart

I thank you

 

To you I call

To you I call

 

Come, let us sing joyously to the Lord

Raise a shout for our Rock and deliverer

Let us come into His presence with praise

let us raise a shout for Him in song9

 

For all my failures

I thank you

For all my sorrows

The obstacles too

It's all for my own good

In my heart I know it

I thank you

 

I cry to you, my G-d, oh my G-d

 

To you I call

 

To you, my life

To you, my heart

I thank you

 

To you I call

To you I call

We spoke about the paragraph I bolded towards the bottom of the song. 

 

על כל כישלונותיי מודה אני

על אכזבותיי פחדיי ומכשוליי

הם כולם לטובתי

אין אחר בליבי רק לך מודה אני

For all my failures

I thank you

For all my sorrows, my fears

The obstacles too

They are all for my own good

There is not another in my heart, only to You

I thank you

 

Why do we thank Hashem for our failures, sorrows, fears and obstacles?  They were not at all pleasant nor am I grateful for them?!?  Because “they are all for my own good.”  I then asked them to look back at earlier in the song at a paragraph above  where he thanks Hashem על כל כשרונותי- for all my talents and his music. I pointed out the girls how the words כל כישרונותי- all my talents sound very similar to  - כל כשלונותי - all my failures (and we thank Hashem for both).  When I asked why he used some similar language,  a student stated (go Daphna!)  because we often learn from our experience of failure which leads to our talents and progress.  Often our failures are for our own good. And, therefore, we  need to thank Hashem for those as well. 

As Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”  We need to learn from our failures and see them as valuable learning experiences rather than using them as excuses to quit.  Failure is a part of the process to success. F.A.I.L.- first attempt in learning. 

As we leave Thanksgiving we need to be thankful for our failures and difficulties as well.  That is what having a growth mindset is all about.  Growth mindset, a term developed by Dr. Carol Dweck, is when a person believes that hard work, perseverance and learning from mistakes gives him the ability to learn, grow and gain skills. Often, people have a fixed mindset where they believe that intelligence is innate and unchangeable. Children with a fixed mindset see failure as permanent and are less likely to persist in the face of challenge. Children with growth mindsets believe that through practice and effort they can gain skills. Failure is actually seen as a chance to learn and they embrace challenges. In fact, studies show that children with growth mindsets show a greater brain response than those with a fixed mindset and they consequently improve their performance. 

How can we teach our children to be thankful for failure?  In “7 Ways To Teach Kids Failure Is A Great Thing”  Rebecca Louick suggests some strategies. 

Step 1- Focus on a Growth Mindset.  Talk about how failure helps you grow! 

Step 2- Allow our children to fail. Often we want to run in and save them and prevent failure,  forgetting that failure is good for them. 

Step 3- Celebrate failure!  Louick speaks about encouraging kids to brag about their mistakes. She even suggests something called “Failure Fridays” - one day a week when you read about someone who failed. Highlight their failures and even give them a high five! 

Step 4- Speak to them about “The Learning Pit” which  is when we are in the pit of uncertainty and that helps us learn. I think this photo says it all. 

 

Step 5-  Explain the brain science of how failure actually helps them grow their brains.  And, the harder something is to learn, the longer it stays in their brains. 

Step 6- Speak about “Failing Forward”- learning from their errors. After they fail (of course after being compassionate)  ask them “What did you learn from this?” “What would you do differently next time?” 

Step 7- Help them be mindful when confronting failure,  and recognize and accept their feelings.  Michelle McDonald’s RAIN technique for mindfulness is helpful for our children to employ when facing failure:

 

 

 

R-Recognize what is happening (“What is happening in this moment? How am I feeling?” “Where do I feel it in my body?”)

Example: “I’m so mad at myself for failing my spelling test. I want to cry.”

A-Allow life to be just as it is (“I can let the thoughts or feelings just be here. Even if I don’t like it.”)

Example: “I am mad and I feel like crying. It’s uncomfortable but I can allow myself to feel this way.”

I-Investigate with kindness (“Why do I feel this way?” “Is it really true?”)

Example: “I notice I’m also a little disappointed in myself too, not just mad. I’m wondering why? Maybe it’s because I think I could have studied more.”

N-Non-Identification (“I am having a thought or emotion, but I am not that thought or emotion.”)

Example: “I can have angry and disappointed feelings without being those feelings. I am bigger than how I feel at this moment.”

I once read somewhere- how many of us recall when the first dedication of the Beit HaMikdash took place?  Not too many. (It happens in Melachim 1 8:2, so hopefully my students remember it was on Sukkot during the time of Shlomo HaMelech!) .  But, everyone remembers when the Beit HaMikdash was rededicated- during the time of Chanukah. Chanukah is the holiday of rededication. Despite failure, or challenges, we wipe ourselves off and try again.  We all fail at some time in our lives, and Chanukah is the chag of rededication and resiliency.  And, even the miracle of the oil is a lesson in how to cope with failure. The maccabees could have said, “Only one small jug- it will never even last beyond a day- why even bother?!?”  In the face of failure they decided to not give up.  After all, it is all from Hashem,  for our benefit, and He is there for us. 

 Thanksgiving leading right into Chanukah reinforces the importance of being thankful for failure,  recognizing that it is all from Hashem and for the good. 

 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade: Students discussed Bar/ Bat Mitzvah behavior and how to support the baal simcha.

Seventh Grade: Students learned the steps of empathy.

Eighth Grade: Students discussed being thankful and how it relates to what experienced during Covid.