As we end the chag of Chanukah, each year in my family we fold up the table we put under the window that holds our menorahs. During the chag I enjoy driving through the streets of our neighborhood seeing the menorahs lit through the windows. Driving this year, I considered that there are so many lessons our teens and we as parents can learn from simply looking at a window and contemplating what it represents.
While in Israel many have the custom to light menorahs outside in their front yard in special glass cases, in chutz la’aretz most light by the windows. One reason often given is due to historical concerns about anti-semitism.
WINDOW MEANING #1
While in the past this reason did not strike true to me, I thought about the Los Angeles initiative that was launched by a non- Jew to encourage neighbors to print and display images of menorahs in their windows this year. Called “Project Menorah” it was started by Jennifer Marshall who reacted to her friend’s being hesitant to put out his menorah due to safety concerns. This year, as I saw the menorahs through the windows I viewed them as expressions of Jewish pride.
Recently, in our 8th grade Advisory class we discussed how to react to the rise in anti-Semitism. We began by discussing the important role they played by attending the rally in Washington. D.C. - and that the logo of the rally, (which was printed on their hats), was “March for Israel, March to Free Hostages, March Against Anti-Semitism.” What is one powerful way to fight anti-Semitism (stressing that we must remain safe as well)? Not by camouflaging our Judaism, but rather by being proud of who we are. And, of course, political action is one way we express that pride.
The window represents Jewish pride and showing the world what we stand for.
WINDOW MEANING #2
While Thinking of windows… I considered another place where we discuss windows in our 8th grade curriculum. In Melachim I we learn of the building of the Beit HaMikdash by Shlomo HaMelech. The windows in the Beit Hamikdash were unusual. As it highlights in Vayikra Rabba 31:7:
אָמַר רַבִּי חֲנִינָא חַלּוֹנוֹת הָיוּ לְבֵית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ וּמֵהֶם הָיְתָה אוֹרָה יוֹצְאָה לָעוֹלָם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (מלכים א, ו, ד): וַיַּעַשׂ לַבָּיִת חַלּוֹנֵי שְׁקֻפִים אֲטֻמִים, שְׁקוּפוֹת אֲטוּמוֹת, הָיוּ מַקְטִינוֹת מִבִּפְנִים וּמַרְחִיבוֹת מִבַּחוּץ כְּדֵי לְהוֹצִיא אוֹרָה לָעוֹלָם. אָמַר רַבִּי לֵוִי מָשָׁל לְמֶלֶךְ שֶׁבָּנָה לוֹ טְרַקְלִין וְעָשָׂה חַלּוֹנוֹתָיו מַקְטִינוֹת מִבַּחוּץ וּמַרְחִיבוֹת מִבִּפְנִים כְּדֵי לְהַכְנִיס אוֹרָה לְתוֹכָהּ, אֲבָל חַלּוֹנוֹת שֶׁל בֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ לֹא הָיוּ כֵן אֶלָּא מַקְטִינוֹת מִבִּפְנִים וּמַרְחִיבוֹת מִבַּחוּץ, כְּדֵי לְהוֹצִיא אוֹרָה גְדוֹלָה.
"Rabbi Chanina said, "There were windows in the Temple, and light would go out from them to the world, as it is stated (in I Kings 6:4), 'And for the house, he made windows broad and narrow.' They were broad and narrow, narrowing on the interior and widening on the exterior - so as to give out light to the world." Rabbi Levi said, "[There is a relevant] parable of a king who built a palace for himself and made its windows narrowing on the exterior and widening on the interior to bring in light into it. But the windows of the Temple were not like this. Rather they were narrowing on the interior and widening on the exterior - so as to give out great light."
Windows in those days were shaped like tunnels, and were generally built so they were wider in the inside and narrower as they went out- so as to let in as much light as possible. But, not in the Beit HaMikdash where the windows widened towards the outside. Light from the outside was not needed to light the Beit HaMikdash. Just the opposite- the light from the kedusha of the Beit HaMikdash shines and spreads out to the world.
The message of those windows for our teens is clear. Windows represent that part of the Jewish pride mentioned above is wanting to spread the message of Torah and its observance. I recently had a conversation with a parent who shared that their child didn’t like to daven because he was “embarrassed” as it wasn’t deemed “cool” to daven. Our goal at Yavneh is to make Judaism and its practice the “cool thing to do.” Just by sincere love of Judaism and doing the mitzvot our love of Torah overflows and shines to all around us.
WINDOW MEANING #3
And, windows did not only exist in the Beit HaMikdash but we know, as it says in Gemara Berachot 34b, that shuls are supposed to have windows as well,
וְאָמַר רַבִּי חִיָּיא בַּר אַבָּא אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: אַל יִתְפַּלֵּל אָדָם אֶלָּא בְּבַיִת שֶׁיֵּשׁ שָׁם חַלּוֹנוֹת. שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וְכַוִּין פְּתִיחָן לֵיהּ בְּעִלִּיתֵהּ (לָקֳבֵל) [נֶגֶד] יְרוּשְׁלֶם״
.
Rabbi Chiya Bar Abba said, "A person should pray only in a house with windows, as it is written (Daniel 6:11), 'and his windows opened from his loft towards Yerushalayim'"
What is the importance of the windows in a shul? Rashi says that the windows allow us to see the sky and remind us of the presence of Hashem. Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir, in his article “Windows in Shul” explains that “While prayer is a private confrontation between the individual and G-d, the subject of our prayers include earthly matters such as health and livelihood. Having windows reminds us that our prayers are not meant to be isolated from the world outside.”
This aspect highlighted by Rabbi Meir stresses a goal we have for our students when it comes to Tefillah. As they say the text in the siddur we want them to consider how what they are saying is actually speaking about real-time “earthly matters” that are happening in their lives- making the tefillot relate directly to their lives. A window in shul represents that the tefillot truly are their conversations with Hashem about their daily lives.
WINDOW MEANING #4
One other window that came to mind was one that appeared in the midrash in the Yoseph stories that we have been reading in parashat hashavua.
For those who have been reading my column for some time, you will recognize that this is my opportunity to bring up my favorite Gemara regarding Yoseph, Yaakov and parenting. When Yoseph was in the house of Potiphar, far from home and his family, he faced the difficult situation of the wife of Potiphar. The Gemara in Sotah 36b describes, “It was taught in the School of R. Ishmael: That day was their feast-day, and they had all gone to their idolatrous temple; but she had pretended to be ill because she thought, I shall not have an opportunity like to-day for Joseph to associate with me. And she caught him by his garment, saying etc. At that moment his father's image came and appeared to him through the window and said: 'Joseph, your brothers will have their names inscribed upon the stones of the ephod and yours amongst theirs; is it your wish to have your name expunged from amongst theirs and be called an associate of harlots?' Immediately his bow abode in strength.”
Clearly Yoseph's father was far away in Canaan- how could he have seen the image of his father Yaakov in the window? That image of Yaakov that he saw was the voice in his head. Over and over he had heard his father say, “Good boys don't act that way. In our family, our values are...” And, of course, like any teenager, (Yoseph was just 17 when he went to Egypt), he said to his dad, “I know, I know- why do you keep on telling me the same thing?!” And, yet, Yaakov continued sending those messages. That is why, when faced with a challenge to his morality, he heard that voice in his head.
So, when we have our frequent “talks” with our children they say to us, “I know, I know- enough already!” And, yet when they are faced with challenge, whether peer pressure to do the wrong thing or the temptation to engage in any at-risk behavior, or even the temptation to skip their homework, they will hear our voices in their head, and practically see our images before them reminding them of what they should do. They will always see our faces at the window representing that at the end of the day, parental influence wins out!
WINDOW MEANING #5
As teens, many of our children spend much of their day looking at mirrors. As I noted in a previous column- the selfie generation-where they are focused on themselves. As parents, we want to raise children who look out the window at others and consider what others need, and not only in the mirror.
This past week of Chanukah we had an incredible Chesed Team event at the Yachad Center. I am sure you read about it already, but some ask me- Why do a chesed team event during Chanukah when the kids are so busy with festivities? That is actually the point. I specifically do it during Chanukah which is a week when our children are constantly getting- gifts, nosh, and fun programs. There is a danger that the week will become a “mirror week.” We want to make sure that our children “look out the window” and remember the needs of others.
This message of caring for what is happening to others relates to one other famous window found in the ark of Noach. Why did he need a window? Yanki Tauber writes in his article “The Window” words that remind me so much of the time we are living in.
Today, we find ourselves at the same crossroads that Noah faced forty-one centuries ago. All around us, we detect signs of a world that is bettering and perfecting itself, beating its nuclear swords into the plowshares of aid to the hungry, and accepting the principles of freedom, justice and compassion as universal givens. Amidst this calming and abatement of the mabul’s waters, we cannot, and must not, closet ourselves in our insulated arks, concerning ourselves only with the perfection of our individual lives and communities,... We must throw open the windows of our arks and reach out to a world that is shedding the turmoil of its mabul past. Our continued efforts to establish that the world is indeed ready for redemption will hasten the divine word from on high, instructing us that the era of universal peace is upon us.
Noach could have just focused on the safety of his family to continue the world- the mirror. And, yet, the window was essential for the continuity of the world. And, philosophically, here at Yavneh, while our children are not living the day to day war that our brothers and sisters in Israel are living, we make sure they are not insulated in their “arks,” but rather are reminded of what they can do to help, even during the festive time of Chanukah.
As parents, windows are essential for our parenting role. I end with a short article written by Megan Minemann Morton “What I Saw Through A Window That Changed My Parenting Perspective.” She begins that she was “barely grasping on to her sanity” and finally completed bedtime. Her dog then indicated it needed a walk. She describes:
The night was silent and still, the naked trees bare of leaves for the wind to rustle. We turned back around and I saw something I had never seen before. A beautiful, little house full of color and light. Soft brightness beckoned behind the frosty, glass windows. An abandoned Paw Patrol episode was concluding on the television, its audience long since retired to their beds. The evidence of school bags and half-eaten lunches piled near the sink. Through the foggy windows I could see scattered artwork in the hallway and plates covering the kitchen table. Spotting a trail of Legos, I could almost hear the ringing of laughter and clamoring of little feet that was surely there hours earlier. This looked like quite a comforting refuge! A place by no means "perfect," but full of life and all the lovely mess that goes with it. What a happy little house!”
Sounds incredible! Doesn’t it?
To someone from the outside looking in, it appears quite lovely indeed. The cozy, glowing lamps filling each window. The exhaust puffing little clouds into the cool night from the endless loads of laundry. The den television flickering behind the drawn curtains. The children's artwork scattered along the back hallway wall. The shelf in the mud room, disheveled and lopsided, begging to be fixed.
I wonder whose house it is? She concludes:
It looks to me like it is just a cozy, happy little nest. And so, I guess I realize for the first time, it is just that. And there is no other house, neither great nor small, that I would rather walk back into, and call my home.
My last window message- sometimes we are so busy looking out the windows at the homes and lives of others, we don’t take the time to look through the windows of our own home- from a different perspective of someone from the outside looking in. Every once in a while, especially when we have had a long day, it is good practice to stop, look at our homes as an outsider looking through the window, and notice all that we have.
Advisory Update:
Sixth Grade: Students had their mock bar/bat mitzvah where they put into practice rules of behavior and manners they learned, and began discussing in class proper behaviors.
Seventh Grade:Students debriefed the lessons they learned on Frost Valley and continued their communication skills unit.
Eighth Grade: Students began a unit on changing relationships with parents.
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