Dayeinu- A Lesson for Life!

  Towards the end of Maggid in the haggadah Jews all across the world, even those who may not be observant, cheerfully sing the same old tune to “Dayeinu.” When one thinks about it, Dayeinu is really a puzzling song. Is it true that if Hashem had dried the Yam Suf and not killed our enemies it would have been enough?! (They would have still found us and killed us!)   Is it true that if Hashem had brought us to Har Sinai and not given us the Torah that would have been enough?!  (What would be the point of being at Har Sinai if not to get the Torah?)  The point of the song is a sort of itemized list of all the components of what Hashem has done for us. We appreciate every aspect, and do not take even one item for granted. 

The same holds true for relationships with others. That type of gratitude is what creates relationships- noticing every single little thing that is done. Jonathan Bennett, in his article “The Haggadah- Lessons In Gratitude” speaks of how parents need to use this technique with their children:

A child's self-esteem is not promoted by general compliments. The child dismisses, "Oh, that's a beautiful picture you drew," as a stock reply, not real praise. If you want her to feel good about your compliment, be specific: "I like the red color you drew the flowers with; it's so bright. And that butterfly with the blue and green dots is the happiest butterfly I ever saw." Children, who are experts at discerning what's genuine, know that real appreciation hones in on the details.

That explains why right before Dayeinu there is a disagreement between R. Yosi HaGelili, R. Eliezer and R. Akiva about how many aspects were there to the 10 plagues and how many miracles happened at the Red Sea. Why does it matter? The more details, the more we can thank Hashem more specifically for all He has done. 

As Dr. Erica Brown quotes Dr. Solomon Schimmel, “One interpretation of the structure of this poem is that when we reflect on a benefit that G-d (or by extension, another person) has done for us, we should break it into its multiple components, meditating on each element.”

The same need for focusing on the specifics when expressing gratitude is essential in all relationships- even husbands and wives. Another area where this gratitude is necessary I consider now due to two events that I attended in the past week.

This past week I attended two sessions that coincidentally touched on the same topics. On Thursday evening I attended a session as part of Prizmah’s Mental Health Summit which brought together guidance staff, learning support staff and various administrators.  That session was by John D’Auria who was to focus on the importance of “emotions for deep learning.”  While D’Auria spent part of the session on this topic, another area upon which he focused was the importance of gratitude towards our teachers. While this gratitude would logically come from students and even parents, he stressed that we as administrators need to work on relaying the gratitude as well. In my focus group’s debrief of his presentation, we shared how our schools are or should be working on relaying this gratitude from students, parents and administrators,  and some practical ideas.

I then attended an afternoon Community Conversation of  the Yeshiva University YUnite Shabbat on the topic of “Cultivating Future Mechanchim: Challenges and Solutions.”  On the panel was our very own Rabbi Knapp (who did a wonderful job!), Rabbi Michael Taubes and Rabbi Yehuda Chanales, who is the director of Yeshiva University’s Chinuch Incubator, working on a plan to encourage more college students to go into Jewish Education. All three presenters shared why less college students are going into Jewish education than ever before. Aside from financial reasons, another primary reason identified was the lack of gratitude expressed towards teachers.  This dearth of gratitude was consistently expressed by all three presenters. 

In speaking about Dayeinu Dr. Erica Brown wrote,” Imagine for a moment a thank-you note where instead of the usual clichés you had a note in the form of Dayenu, outlining several details of appreciation. Had the person done only one it would have been enough.

Now imagine receiving such a note — highly personal, thoughtful and unique. It might be the thank-you note you actually save.” Dayeinu is “a template for true thanks.” 

And, that is why since my own children have been in pre-K they have all written thank you notes to their teachers (even when I had to do the writing!) and they had to write something specific that they learned in that class that made an impact on them. And, that is why, during Covid in the middle school we had all our middle schoolers write thank you notes to teachers.  This is the template they have to use:

THANK YOU FOR BEING MY TEACHER!

Dear _________________________________,

Thank you for being my teacher this year.  I am so grateful for ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I will always remember these two things that I learned with you:

1.

2.

With gratitude,

_________________________________

We have been doing it each year since, and I cannot describe how much it means to the teachers.  Most importantly it gives them the sense that they made a difference.  

Why do we need to wait until the end of the year to send thank you notes?  Just the other day, my daughter’s college guidance counselor met with her…which happens to be her job. But, my daughter came home and shared that the meeting was so helpful.  So, I dropped her a thank you email, with the specifics of what was helpful. Why do we need to wait until the last week of school?  Here at Yavneh, a teacher took the time to meet with a 7th grade student the other day during her only break of the day. I took a moment and sent her a thank you email for meeting with that student and shared the specifics of how her manner was so encouraging. 

I left the Prizmah workshop and the Shabbat panel re-inspired to express thanks to the teachers of my own children and to the teachers here at Yavneh. I thank them for all the “Dayeinus”- the specifics of the  hours upon hours they spend thinking about our children and caring not just about the content and the skills the children learn, but also about the children themselves. 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade;Students learned the skills of being B.R.A.V.E. L.E.A.D.E.R.S. in combating bullying as upstanders. 

Seventh Grade:  Students learned the skills of Reframing and Radical Acceptance. Some groups had the chance to discuss on-line gossip and Sendit. 

Eighth Grade; As part of the substance abuse lesson students focused on the dangers of alcohol. 

The Joy of Adar- It's Not Over Yet!

  While I am a last minute person, even I have noticed the Passover products filling the aisle in Shoprite.  Yes, Pesach is approaching.  And yet, Adar is not over yet, and neither is the  simcha of Adar until Rosh Chodesh on Thursday.  Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, z”tl, in his article “The Therapeutic Joy Of Purim” asks- why a whole month? The story of the salvation of Purim really focused on the 13th to the 15th of Adar.  He then asks, and why is the emotion joy? It should be relief. 

It lasts the whole month because it is not “expressive joy” that one would feel on the day something good happens (the 13th/14th/15th).  Rather, Rabbi Sacks calls the joy of Adar a unique type of joy- “therapeutic joy.”  To combat the trauma and the terror they needed therapeutic, all-encompassing joy. The way to “defeat fear is by therapeutic joy. You conquer terror by collective celebration…Precisely because the threat was so serious you refuse to be serious… Humor is the Jewish way of defeating hate. What you can laugh at you cannot be held captive by.”

As our 8th grade is about to present their Holocaust presentations this week, Rabbi Sacks continued explanation hits home. Rabbi Sacks gives an example of a Holocaust survivor who approached him after he wrote a book  Celebrating Life.  The man commented on a quote that Rabbi Sacks had used based on the comedy Life is Beautiful about the Holocaust that “a sense of humor keeps you sane.”  The survivor shared that he had made a pact with a friend that each day they would look for something amusing and they would share with each other and laugh.  They knew that if they could not keep their spirits up they would die, and a sense of humor would save them. 

While that Holocaust survivor intuited the power of humor, there is much research substantiating their strategy. We all know the benefits of humor and laughter. Research indicates that laughter can help those who suffer with chronic pain. A Swiss research team found that people who  laughed at comedy films had increased pain tolerance.  Humor activates the release of endorphins- minimizing emotional pain, and relieves muscular tension- affecting physical pain.  

Humor helps people deal better with stress overall and improves one’s mood. Research with humor therapy’s impact on the elderly indicates a decrease in pain, perception of loneliness and increase in happiness and life satisfaction.  Laughter enhances intake of oxygen and stimulates organs such as the heart and lungs and muscles overall.  It fires up and then cools down your stress response, and then increases and then decreases heart rate and blood pressure, which leads to a relaxed feeling.  Humor can improve your immune system, and your self-esteem. 

In our 7th Grade Advisory unit “When Life Gives You Lemons” among the many techniques we discuss with the students to utilize when facing stressful or upsetting situations, we speak about in the moment, sometimes we just need to use the technique of distraction until the feelings or events pass. An acronym A.C.C.E.P.T.S. expressed the different techniques, among them humor! :

A.= Activities- engage in activities that require thought and concentration (hobby, schoolwork etc.)

C.= Contributing- focus on someone or something else other than yourself- volunteer, do a good deed. 

C.= Comparisons- Look at your situation in comparison to something worse. Remember times when you felt worse and you were okay.

E.= Emotions- Do something that will create a competing emotion LIKE HUMOR - if sad, watch a funny movie. 

P. = Pushing away- Push away your negative thoughts. Imagine they are like a piece of paper and crumple them up and throw them out!

T.= Thoughts- When your emotions take over, try to focus your thoughts. Count to 10, read a book etc.

S.= Sensations- Find safe physical sensations to distract you from negative emotions. Squeeze a stress toy, eat something sour. 

While we targeted many ideas, we did focus on the impact of humor and how it truly can help. Joy can be therapeutic. 

So, as I notice the Pesach products in Shoprite, I am thinking that perhaps the best way to overcome the pre-Pesach stress is through extending the simcha of Adar a few more weeks until I kasher my kitchen!  Is that okay? 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade: Sixth graders began a new unit on Social Exclusion and other forms of bullying. This week they focused on the power of the bystander. 

Seventh Grade: Students  had a visit from Mrs. Shifra Srolovitz, a Child Life Specialist who trained them to decorate stuffed animals with encouraging messages for ill children. Some classes focused on the dangers of gambling- timed to come right before March Madness.  And, they focused on noting the stressors in their lives and how they deal with them.

Eighth Grade: Students began their unit on Substance Abuse prevention focusing first on the dangers of alcohol and the impact on the Jewish community. 

Social Media and Self-esteem

  As I sat down to write this week’s column I came across the weekly magazine that arrived on Shabbat, The Week.  The front cover had a photo of a young teenage girl curled into a ball with her head in her lap with the headline “An epidemic of anguish- Why depression and despair are soaring among teen girls.”  While I had a heavy load of work to do, I couldn’t help but sit and open to page 6 of the magazine. 

The article continued that a CDC report was released last week which surveyed more than 17,000 teens.  42% said they experienced consistent feelings of “sadness and hopelessness.”   (A significant rise from the last time they did this survey in 2011).  The numbers were worse with girls. While only 29% of boys reported feeling this way, over 57% of girls reported being in “persistent despair.” 

Why? What has changed? “The CDC offered no definitive answers, but consider what has happened over the past decade.  Instagram was released in late 2010. Snapchat in 2011. TikTok in 2016. Soon thereafter, 90 percent of teen girls reported using social media every day. These apps- which put a premium on selfies and videos- create more social comparison, social pressure, and negative peer interactions with teens measuring their self-worth or lack  of it- in likes and followers.”  (If one looks carefully at the magazine cover, there is a cellphone on the ground next to the girl).

Other contributing factors are, before social media teens hung out at least two hours a day with friends.  Now there is less in-person socializing, less sleep and children “are drowning in social comparisons.” 

Interestingly enough,  even before I read this article, this topic came up in my class with 7th grade girls this week. We were discussing issues that affect body image.  Social media is one such issue. We read an article together by Common Sense Media “How Girls Are Seeking (and Subverting) Approval Online.”

A Common Sense survey called Children, Teens, Media, and Body Image found that many teens who are active online fret about how they're perceived, and that girls are particularly vulnerable:

• 35 percent are worried about people tagging them in unattractive photos.

• 27 percent feel stressed about how they look in posted photos.

• 22 percent felt bad about themselves if their photos were ignored.

What can we as parents do to combat this impact? 

1. We need to speak with our teens about the photos they post. Are we posting just to see what everyone else thinks? Are we posing in a certain way to get approval? 

2. Discuss how do the comments of others or “likes” make them feel? 

3. Stress that they should post positive and encouraging comments to support their friends “for who they are and not what they look like.”

4. As we raise them, help them develop a healthy self- image and body image.  

5. View media critically with them.  Discuss when there are damaging images that they are seeing in the media. 

Rabbi Efrem Goldberg, in his article “Social Media and Mental Health” wrote in 2022, 

Experts say technology and social media are the culprit. Last year, researchers at Instagram itself published disturbing findings. “Thirty-two percent of teen girls said that when they felt bad about their bodies, Instagram made them feel worse…They often feel ‘addicted’ and know that what they’re seeing is bad for their mental health but feel unable to stop themselves.”

 

Facebook, which owns Instagram, also investigated the app’s effects on its users, and found, “We make body image issues worse for one in three teen girls. Teens who struggle with mental health say Instagram makes it worse.”

Rabbi Goldberg adds a #6 that we can do as parents:

Are we being thoughtful and intentional with who we and our children choose to be “influenced” by, about what, and how often?  

I imagine most of us parents didn’t need a front page headline in The Week to tell us something we didn’t already know.  Now what? 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade: Students learned to apply the PACK system to their lockers.

Seventh Grade: Students discussed how to see the world with “rose colored glasses” and upbeat thinking. 

Eighth Grade: Students did a “quality circle” where they discussing “bullying” in sports and what is competition versus bullying and whether they are seeing any of these issues among their friends. 

Winning The Super Bowl- A President's Day Lesson About Failure

             As promised, my post- Super Bowl lesson column- which is actually a post- Super Bowl President’s Day lesson column. 

This lesson is gleaned from an article by Greg Stegeman called “Five Life Lessons to Take From Super Bowl LIV.”  That lesson is to never give up.  With 7:23 remaining in the game, the 49ers had a 20-10 lead. And, yet the Chiefs won. You can always still win, so never quit as the tide can always turn. In fact, When the Chiefs were down according to ESPN’s Gamecase the 49ers had a 95.4% chance of winning. But in truth, it doesn’t matter if everyone watching the game thought the Chiefs were done. “The Chiefs didn’t think they were done.”  Ignore what others think and persevere. 

This message is quite fitting as our 7th graders are now in the process of their unit in Advisory “When Life Gives You Lemons…Make Lemonade- Bouncing Back From Difficulties In Life.” 

In fact, one of the first activities we do with the students is present them with these real-life people who were tempted to give up. (And, it is only fitting that the first one is someone whose birthday we celebrate today- on President’s Day). 

Below you will read statements about real people. As you read each one, I want you to guess whether that person was a success (write “S” on the line) or failure (write “F”). Your teacher will then tell you the truth after you have completed this exercise.

____ Politician: Ran for political office seven times and was defeated each time.

____ Cartoonist: All he wanted to do was to sketch cartoons. He applied with a Kansas City newspaper. The editor said, "It’s easy to see from these sketches that you have no talent." No studio would give him a job. He ended up doing publicity work for a church in an old, dilapidated garage.

____ Writer: His first children’s book was rejected by 23 publishers.

____ Inventor: In the first year of marketing his new soft drink, he sold only 400 bottles.

____ Athlete: As a baseball player, he struck out more than any player in the history of baseball: 1,330 times.

____ Politician: Flunked the sixth grade. As a sixteen-year-old in Paris, a teacher had written on his report card, "Shows a conspicuous lack of success." He wished to become a military leader, or a great statesman. As a student, he failed three times in his exams to enter the British Military Academy.

____ Athlete: He wasn’t able to speak until he was almost 4 years old and his teachers said: “He would never amount to much” He was was cut from a basketball team at the Emsley A. Laney High School. He was devastated from not being able to play, locked himself at home and cried for hours

The Answer Key:  

1. Would you have given up on politics if you had been defeated 7 times in your run for political office? I’m glad that Abraham Lincoln didn’t give up. He was defeated for legislature, defeated for speaker, defeated for nomination to Congress, defeated for Senate, defeated for nomination to Vice Presidency, defeated again for Senate. Yet he hung in there and succeeded in becoming the 16th, and one of the most respected, presidents of the United States.

2. And what about the cartoonist whom no one would hire? The one who was told that he had no talent? The old garage he worked in was in such bad shape that it had mice. One day, he sketched one of those mice. Any guesses as to the name of that mouse? The mouse one day became famous as "Mickey Mouse." The artist, of course, was Walt Disney.

3. The writer whose children’s book was rejected by 23 publishers? Take a wild guess…. Dr. Seuss. By the way, the 24th publisher sold six million copies.

4. The soft drink that sold only 400 bottles its first year? Coca Cola.

5. The baseball player who held the strike-out record? He also held, for many years, the home run record. His name is Babe Ruth.

6. The student who showed a "conspicuous lack of success" on his report card? Who failed three times to enter the British Military Academy? Many of us would have given up after one rejection. But Winston Churchill stubbornly refused to accept defeat and became one of the greatest men of the 20th Century. Though he was rejected many times by the voters of Great Britain, he finally became the Prime Minister, standing between Hitler and the free world.

7. The athlete who was cut from the Varsity team his sophomore year? Angry and embarrassed, he began to get up early each morning to practice with the Junior Varsity coach. Eventually he not only made the Varsity team, but became the most popular athlete in the world: Michael Jordan.

We then discuss, what made all these people continue despite failure? Why do some other people quit the moment they face tough times? It’s the difference between an egg and a super ball. The teacher then takes the ball and bounces it into a container. Notice that the harder you bounce it the quicker it bounces back. Then he/she takes a raw egg and throws it into the bucket. With an egg- the harder you throw it, the quicker it shatters.

There are two types of people in life- Raw egg people- who shatter when faced with an obstacle. Then there are super ball people- when they face an obstacle they bounce back. The people above were super ball people. With every failure they bounced back.

What is their secret? Resiliency. We then show them a football related video of a player named Jim Marshall- a story I found in the book Mindset  by Dr. Carol Dweck. Jim  Marshall, former defensive player for the Minnesota Vikings, relates what could easily have made him into a failure. In a game against the San Francisco 49ers, Marshall spotted the football on the ground. He scooped it up and ran for a touchdown as the crowd cheered. But he ran the wrong way. He scored for the wrong team and on national television.  It was the most devastating moment of his life. The shame was overpowering. But during halftime, he thought, “If you make a mistake, you got to make it right. I realized I had a choice. I could sit in my misery or I could do something about it.” Pulling himself together for the second half, he played some of his best football ever and contributed to his team's victory.” The lesson learned: 

After a setback you can be either bitter or better. The only difference between those two words is the “I”- I have the choice to grow or sink under hardship. 

(We also show the students another football related video- about resiliency. It’s a number of years old but still timely).   

Shlomo HaMelech wrote in Mishlei כִּ֤י שֶׁ֨בַע ׀ יִפּ֣וֹל צַדִּ֣יק וָקָ֑ם וּ֝רְשָׁעִ֗ים יִכָּשְׁל֥וּ בְרָעָֽה׃

Seven times the righteous man falls and gets up,

While the wicked are tripped by one misfortune.

Pachad Yitzchak, in his Iggerot U’Ketavim #128 notes that the meaning of this pasuk is not that even though the tzaddik falls he rises. Rather, it is “Because a tzaddik falls seven times, he will rise.”  

Rabbi Benjamin Blech, in the article “The Blessing of Failure, 7  Steps to Building Spiritual Resistance” notes that in Judaism a great scholar is called a תלמיד חכם - not simply a  חכם, but a “student of wisdom.”  A  תלמיד חכם is someone who learns from his/her experiences.  

Failures are in actuality the key to our success.  “If your failure inspires you to surpass yourself and do it better next time, if you understand that failure never fully defines you but is meant to motivate you to greatness—then you are an alumnus of the best school in the world, and your failure was the tuition you paid for your eventual success.”

As I have quoted before in my column, Dr. Wendy Mogel in her book,  The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee, she stresses the importance of allowing our children to struggle and fail.  If we overprotect them from feeling pain, they are also protected from growth.  If they are insulated they are incapable of dealing with any adversity and become “teacups” that “chip like a teacup” when confronting difficulty.  

In that same column I quoted the speech that Supreme Court Justice John Roberts gave at his son’s middle school graduation years ago.  (Interestingly, he also quotes the importance of failing in sports!) 

“From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.

And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.”

Emuna Braverman, commenting on his words noted  “And that what he wants to communicate to these young kids, as they approach the rough passage of adolescence, is to embrace their challenges as opportunities for growth. Don’t shy away from them or feel oppressed or burdened. They are the true gifts from a loving Father just as his words are a gift to his son.”

And, so the message of the Super Bowl as demonstrated by the Chiefs is to never give up. Jim Marshall and the Giants also demonstrated that in football resiliency is needed for success on the field. And, today on Presidents Day we recall how Abraham Lincoln was defeated for legislature, defeated for speaker, defeated for nomination to Congress, defeated for Senate, defeated for nomination to Vice Presidency, defeated again for Senate. Yet, he hung in there and succeeded in becoming the 16th, and one of the most respected, Presidents of the United States. 

Advisory Update:

Sixth Grade: Students applied the PACK system to organizing their lockers.

Seventh Grade:  Students learned about resiliency and how to apply it to their lives.

Eighth Grade:  Students discussed honesty and trust.

Prayer and Football

  For those who have read my column for years you know that I typically write a column the Sunday after the Super Bowl with a lesson one can learn from the game.  While I still anticipate doing so in the coming week, (assuming a lesson does seem to appear), I came across a football lesson in an article I read over the weekend in a Jewish magazine, and thought I would take the opportunity to write about it in the hours leading up to the Super Bowl.  

Most of us probably heard that on January 2 Buffalo Bills player Damar Hamlin collapsed and went into cardiac arrest on the field. He is recovering after CPR on the field and time in the hospital.  While there was much buzz about his collapse, at the time there was also much discussion in the media about the reaction of the team and the crowd. “How Damar Hamlin Drove a Nation To Pray-When the Buffalo Bills safety fell, there was, for many, only one rational response” wrote the Wall Street Journal.   Article after article commented on how not only those present gathered to pray, but likewise did fans at home. 

Rabbi Emanuel Feldman in his article “Sadness and Gladness”  commented on the players falling to their knees to pray during the game.  It demonstrated the “universal human impulse to reach out to a Higher Power. The human soul requires regular contact with the Creator, just as human lungs require air… the soul is often suppressed and neglected until moments of deep distress, we discover that we are vulnerable and powerless.” 

Rabbi Feldman continues to write that as Jews, while we clearly turn to God in times of trouble, God wants us to have a daily relationship with Him and not only reach out when we need something.  The word prayer  is from the Latin word “to ask for, to entreat.”  That is not all of what Tefilla means to us. 

For us, Tefilla is a relationship with Hashem. Mrs. Elana Moskowitz, in her article “Invite Him In”  notes that one way to form this relationship with God is by inviting him into your “mundane, trivial spaces in life.”  Whether washing dishes, at a traffic light, or dealing with a difficult work situation, Moskowitz encourages us to invite Him in.  

My own children often laugh at me when I exclaim, “Hashem help me!” when something annoying happens.  I thereby demonstrate, with my frustrating exclamation, that God is not remote, but He is a part of every moment in my life. 

Moskowitz’s article was part of a series on how to make Tefillah meaningful when one is having a hard time connecting to Tefillah.  Another author, Erin Stiebel, in the article “Celebrate the Little Wins” also gives some mundane examples of when she reaches out to Hashem. “Hashem, please don’t let my child dump that container of cereal…Hashem, please don’t let me lose my sanity picking up 8,000 Cheerios off my floor…”  She has endless conversations with Hashem all day long.  And, that is why she is not surprised when she hears her little boy saying, “Hashem, please help me beat my brother at knock hockey” or “Thank you, Hashem, for helping me find my favorite socks.”   Where did he learn this constant connection to God? From his mother who similarly demonstrates her reaching out to Hashem.

In my almost 30 years of Jewish education I have spent many hours davening with students and even teaching Tefillah classes.  Some of the children are totally unconnected and some look as if they are speaking to Hashem when they daven.  What is their secret?   I believe that the relationship is the secret.  We need to raise our children and model for them that relationship. We do not only turn to Hashem when we have to daven in shul on Shabbos or when there is, God forbid, an illness or a tragedy.  We turn to Hashem constantly.   I bet you didn’t expect that to be a lesson from a football game!  

Advisory Update;

Sixth Grade:  Students worked on organizing their bookbags and learning how to ascertain what to keep and what to throw out using the P.A.C.K. method

Seventh Grade: Students focused on skills needed for resilience

Eighth Grade:  Students continued their unit on cheating and honesty.